I want to Find Him

CHAPTER 21

All the things in this world we cannot see. It is an almighty will to keep it secret from us. We are lucky and when we feel wronged. And the whole thing is a test for us.

Just like me who just got happiness even in a storm immediately. The news of Rain's departure for no reason left me confused and agitated.

My tears flowed nonstop along the way to the house. Remembering Rain who left without telling me since our last day together at Transmart. What really happened to Rain?

The father driving beside me tried to calm me down. He rubbed my head gently while smiling attentively. "Dad believes Rain is fine" he said. But my tears still flow. Even when I no longer want to cry.

Dad took us to Grandpa's house. And like lightning striking me directly barged out of the car immediately. I ran to Grandpa's porch. Mother swiftly followed me from behind. He seemed very concerned to see my unfavourable attitude.

"Grandfather..! Grandpa..! It's Hany, Cake. Please open the door."

I screamed as if demanding at that innocent door. I don't know why I'm getting out of control. I wanted to break down this door so I could get to Rain who was sitting there. "Please baby, everything's gonna be okay, okay." Mother rubbed my back slowly. But I still cry.

Grandpa opened the door with a sad looking face. He hugged me tightly and kissed my head. I cried sobbing in Grandpa's arms. Likewise with Mother who looks touched. Grandfather didn't let go of his embrace until my crying started to subside. That's when he took me in and started telling me everything.

"You must be confused as to why Rain decided to leave without saying goodbye." Grandpa.

I just nodded.

"Rain is not leaving because he hates or has problems with you. But, Grandpa is sure he never told you about his family's problems."

I just kept quiet.

"Rain is a good boy. He loves both his parents. But, as you know, his mother and father are separated. And it was a hard decision for him to choose between his father or his mother. For years he tried to get his father and mother back together. But all that failed because his mother no longer wanted to be with his father Rain. And after a few years Rain's mother married Grandpa." Grandpa paused for a moment. "You want to know why he came here and left all of a sudden?"

"What's the matter, Cake?"

"A few months ago Rain's father fell ill. His father asked Rain to bring his mother home. However, after a few days of persuading her, your Grandma still did not want to. And Rain has to come back to finish school. But she did not despair and returned after her school exams were over. He continued to persuade his mother but her mother refused. He also received news from his aunt that his father's condition had improved. Rain has chosen to spend his holidays here with us." Obviously Grandpa.

"Keep why did Rain suddenly leave, Cake?" I asked with curiosity.

"Two days ago Rain came home in a very bad condition. He came to see us prostratingly asking your Grandma to see his father. Rain said that his father was dying. However, your Grandma still refused and shouted at Rain loudly."

My tears are back to me with a lot of water. My cheeks feel so hot as if they're burning. "Keep what happens next, Cake?"

Grandpa looks to be breathing out. "Rain immediately left after getting a slap from your Grandma. Grandpa was intending to chase after her but your Grandma immediately fell unconscious. And up until now Grandpa didn't know where Rain was." Said Grandfather with a face full of regret.

"Where is Bu Mega now?" My toot.

"He's in the room. His condition had improved a little but he was still weak because he did not want to eat."

I also chose to see the situation of Bu Mega. He looks so pathetic, even more so than me. I put my palm on his head. Real hot. I also clasped his hands while looking into his beautiful eyes.

"Mom.. Patient mother, yes. I'm sure Rain's okay."

I said as if I wasn't hit. However, I had to cheer up Bu Mega so she could be more upbeat.

"Rain was angry with Mom, Han. She definitely doesn't want to see Mom anymore. I'm so sorry I scolded her." Said Bu Mega in a weak tone.

"I'm sure Rain isn't what I said. Rain is a good boy, ma'am."

Ms. Mega just kept quiet and turned her face away while crying.

"Mom can't be like this. Mommy has to be strong. Mommy should eat. If this continues, the mother can be very ill. Poor Rain, Buk. Cook both his parents must be sick." I tried to persuade Ms. Mega to eat. "Want me a bribe of the porridge?" I also spooned the porridge to Bu Mega. Thank God he did not refuse.

...----------------...

I have been staring a lot lately. Not excited even at school with my friends. They say I look like a stressed person. With a puffy face and swollen eyes.

It has been a few days since Rain mysteriously disappeared. During that time I was more often languishing in the room while contemplating his whereabouts. I can't think of anything else but Rain. Only Rain was on my mind for now.

The second lesson of the day is finished. The break bell has sounded. All the friends in my class got up from the bench to leave the class. I prefer to put my head on the table.

"Han! You're absent for the cafeteria again?" Said Melsi who was standing on the edge of my desk.

"I'm not hungry, Mel. If you're hungry you go there to the cafeteria." I said in a limp tone.

Melsi sounded an annoyed snort. "Until when is Han, you keep going like this? Do you think that if you are like this Rain will come back? What you're doing is just gonna make Rain sadder."

Melsi spoke firmly towards me. However, I remained silent and ignored Melsi's words. He left me with a very upset face. But I don't care at all. All I thought about was Rain's whereabouts.

Shortly after Melsi left, Brother Fatha came to me. I think my friends complained to Brother Fatha. Therefore Brother Fatha came to me directly to the classroom.

"Ha.. Not going to the cafeteria?" Ask Brother Fatha.

It took me a long time to answer Sister Fatha's question. Because honestly, now I don't want to talk to anyone.

"I'm not hungry, brother."

Brother Fatha smiled. "Try you to touch your face. You're I'm gonna moh, now." I just kept quiet not responding. "We're going to the cafeteria, yok! Let Brother buy Hany."

"Once again I'm not hungry, brother. And I don't want to eat!"

I spoke in a stern tone to Brother Fatha. Brother Fatha looks surprised to see my expression earlier. Soon I realized I shouldn't be.

"Sorry, Brother." I said while bowing.

"It's okay Han, Brother understands how you feel." Brother Fatha also took a sitting position opposite me. "Han, you're still thinking Rain, aren't you?"

I just kept quiet and turned my face in the other direction.

"There's something you want to say. It's about Rain."

My head turned towards Brother Fatha. "What's up, brother?"

...----------------...

I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling of my room. I'm still thinking about what Brother Fatha said this afternoon. Rain is unfair. He met Brother Fatha whom he had just met. As for me being his friend since childhood he let me suffer for thinking about it.

I grabbed a box that I put on the top end of my bed. The box is wrapped in a plain light blue wraparound wrap accompanied by a silver ribbon neatly knotted over the cover. I opened the box too. Inside were a pair of white sneakers and an envelope. I'd rather take that envelope first. Find out what's inside the envelope.

Inside the envelope was a letter written by Rain. I read it over and over again with tears in my eyes. In the letter it says:

^^^"Assalamu'alaikum Hany,^^

^^^I'm sorry for leaving without news. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good friend to you. And I'm also sorry for making you sad.^^^

^^^Han. I beg you not to be sad and keep thinking of me. I don't like to see you cry. I don't want you to get sick just because I think about it.^^^

^^^Hany.. You should not be sad. There are still many people around you. There are Grandpa, Grandma, Mother, Father, Sister Ina, your friends and many more. I'm sure they can be happy with you and love you very much. Especially Fatha. I'm sure he'll always be there for you. Because I know very well that he's a good person and very much in love with you. Don't waste it, yeah.^^^

^^^Han.. I want to order with you. Please take good care of my mother. I am so begging you for this one. I also ask you to be happy always. Please don't be sad anymore. Forget all the things about me, about us. Because after this I might go and not come back. Take good care of yourself, yes.^^^

^^^Wasallam,^^^

^^^NB: Oh yes, I have made you a lyric translation video of the song you like. It's in the memory card I tucked inside the envelope. Let's see the contents."^^^

I checked the envelope again. It turns out there is a memory card. I immediately ran to get a laptop to see the contents of the memory card. There is only one folder in it and there are two videos in that folder.

I also played one of those videos. The video I opened contained a slide of my photo with Rain during our time in Pekanbaru. The photo slide is accompanied by the song Eternity along with the translation of the sentence displayed on each lyrics sung. Suddenly I smiled remembering the series of events from the photos. All of this will be a memory between me and Rain.

Rains.. How could I forget you. And you have painted good memories in my memory.

Suddenly my phone rings. I also checked the calls that were in progress. It was from Brother Fatha. I immediately picked it up.

"Hello, Brother? What's up?" My toot.

"Hello, Han. No, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Alhamdulillah, I'm fine, Brother."

"You're not crying anymore, are you? Don't think about Rain anymore, do you?" Ask Brother Fatha across the street.

"The crying is broken, really. But.. If you don't think about Rain, I can't stop thinking about him, brother. Too many things we've been through that it's hard to throw away." I said in a tone full of passion.

Brother Fatha was silent for a moment. " Yes, it's up to you. The important thing is that you don't feel sad anymore. And don't forget to eat, yeah!"

I smiled too. "Yes, Brother."

"Then Brother closes first yes, call him. You have to sleep."

"Yes, Brother."

"Yes already. Assalamu'alaikum."

"Wa'a.." Suddenly I remembered something. " Eh, wait a minute, brother!"

Brother Fatha sounded a bit shocked. "What's up, Han?"

"Hem.. About the yesterday.. I accept Brother, flowers are just as brown."

"Keep..."

Shamefully I said, "I want to be Big Brother's girlfriend."

That day I didn't know what to feel. Either I have to be happy because I have become sister Fatha, or feel sad because I have to lose Rain. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. While with Brother Fatha I was still thinking about Rain who was out of nowhere at this time. Sometimes I also think, whether I really love Brother Fatha, or just eat the words of Rain. And it is very evil of me if I make a man as good as Brother Fatha as an outlet.

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