I want to Find Him

CHAPTRE 31

My steps came to a halt when I felt someone pull my hand from behind the door. My body turned to look at a figure who might have been there. Now his eyes were looking at my eyes as if he wanted to find something in that gaze. For a moment I was carried back into the past.

I turned my eyes and threw off Rain's hand. I looked around the room to make sure no one was looking at us. Then, I looked back at Rain with a sharp look.

"If anyone sees us how?" I firmly scolded Rain. "If they think about us how?" my continue.

Rain remained silent for a few seconds. His eyes were not moved from looking at my face.

"I miss you, Hany." Say Rain gently.

I didn't expect that line to be what I would hear from Rain's mouth after what he just did. Instead of trying to see the situation, he could say such sweet words to the future wife of people. Though I'm sure he just peeked plus eavesdropped on my conversation with Sister Fatha.

"Stop saying sweet, Rain! I've been proposed by Brother Fatha." I also showed a beautiful ring on my ring finger. "I will soon be engaged to Sister Fatha. So stop bothering me!"

I immediately left Rain who was still looking at me with a sad feeling. I don't know what's on his mind, I don't know. All I know now is the fact that we already have each other's partners and there will be no hope of unity. Besides, I've established myself to love only Brother Fatha. Sometimes I feel a little confused about my feelings.

On one hand I realized that Brother Fatha was the place for me to go. While on the other hand sometimes when with him I still think of Rain. I am still confused by my own feelings. And one thing I understand is that sometimes the time we spend with other people can't shift the sense we have of the person we love the most.

.

.

The night has come to mediate the turn of our sorrowful day. It feels very strange when the most noisy figure when eating together at this table now only leaves memories. And now there's only silence left at dinner tonight.

I looked over at the chair where Grandpa usually sat. Asking about my work, telling me about his youth he told me many times and also giving me advice on how to live a good life. However, now on the same table and the same place the atmosphere was no longer there. It seems like Grandpa's departure will bring about a lot of changes that exist in this house.

Our dinner just passed without any warm talk or just a light story. Neither Bu Mega, Rain, nor Carsy said a single word when there was a gathering time like this. It seems like they are still dissolved with their respective minds. Just like I was thinking about my memories with my grandfather.

After dinner, I went back to my room to rest. It seems like everyone is tired after going through this event that made us shaken. Honestly, Grandpa's departure was something that shocked me. However, what can I do other than clench?

Geck! Geck!

The sound of that knocking made me wake up from my daydream. I got out of bed and half ran to open the door. When the door leaf shifted there Rain's handsome face was displayed. I was momentarily transfixed from seeing this unexpected existence.

"Can I come in?" Rain asked after a few seconds of being at the door.

I shifted a bit to give Rain a way to enter. "Hurry in" I said. Then I shut the door as soon as I made sure no one was around.

Rain sat on the study chair beside the bed. While I sat on the opposite end of the bed straight with Rain's position.

There was a strange feeling when we realized we were both in the same room. We used to be in the same room. I don't know why the atmosphere is different now. Very clumsy.

Rain looked at me silently for a few seconds. Makes my heart beat faster. Somehow every time I saw Rain there was a sense I couldn't explain appearing inside me. But the feeling never appeared when I was with Brother Fatha.

"What are you thinking?" Rain started to make a sound.

"Nothing." Flat answer.

"Why didn't you throw me out? Whereas this afternoon you confirmed that I should not bother you anymore." Rain started looking at me seriously. He turned the study chair straight at me. He folded his arms around his chest adding an aura of seriousness that made me feel intimidated.

"It should be. You can't be here. We're not teenagers anymore who are still understood by people." I paused for a moment, "At some point we already had a partner. We should know the limits to appreciating them."

I slightly averted my eyes so as not to look at Rain's face. I'm sure I won't be able to say it out loud when I claim I belong to someone else in front of the person I actually love.

Rain fell silent while looking at me with a shady look of hers. Perhaps the words I just said were so heartbreaking. So that he can't say any more words.

I ventured to look into his eyes. Immediately I felt filled with the flow of love. Rain's magic and hypnotic gaze was able to make me unable to harden my idea just now. I was swept away in that beautiful look.

I put all my body on the bed and shifted to the middle. So did Rain who has now climbed the mattress. He grabbed my nape and gently kissed my lips. Our lips touch each other and make movements according to rhythm. I was swept away by something I had never done before.

Slowly Rain laid me down on the queen-sized bed. Both feel like floating somewhere the movement on the lips is getting wider. Rain's hand began to touch the part of my ration point. So that makes me reflexively rub the back of his neck. I don't know what's going on right now, what I just feel is this feeling of wanting the person in front of me.

I smuggled my hands into Rain's shirt. Her body that felt hot made me feel comfortable. He immediately took off his shirt and threw away his shirt.

The sight of Rain's athletic body on top of me made me even more excited. I pulled back Rain's nape and pressed my lips against the savage chewy thing.

Just like me, Rain was also very carried away at the moment. He acts like a person who already has rights over me. Kissing me, hugging me, and feeling things she shouldn't feel.

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