Dew Heart Traces
A Growing Feelings
With a high degree of ability to detect lies, no lie, however subtle and hidden, can escape the scrutiny of the heart. However, on different levels, everyone wears a mask. That's how I believe it is.
I've started lying a lot about how I feel about Mas Danial. Caught in the middle of a secret wave that I'm used to presenting to her so I don't have to bother anymore whining for something that's not for me.
Our relationship is no longer felt there is a vibration, this is what is called all nothing will ever be the same other than change itself. Even Mas Danial's love is further eroded by time.
On that road, there was a car that stopped strangely. As if the driver was confused in which direction? Whether to turn or turn back. I actually did not care much about it, but because from the front, a car that was speeding fast regardless of the car that was stopping in front of him.
“Hey!” my yelling.
“Your car why?” With half a shout, I opened the car window to ask the driver.
“I don't know either,” replied the driver who turned out to be a man.
“Tuh in front there is a car that will be ready to tackle you.”
He swiftly tried to force something on the important part of his car and could finally light up again. He pulled over and got out of the car. I'm still waiting for him, because I want to know if he needs my help.
“Still yes,” he said after approaching me.
“There can I help?”
“The gasoline turned out to be exhausted, I did not check earlier so hurriedly just wear it. I've asked the office guy to pick me up kok.”
“Hmmm ... That luxury car can also run out of gasoline well?” my inner.
“Ok, deh I continued first yes if it does not need my help anymore.”
He then handed me a business card and headed back to his car. I glanced at the business card “Stars Laksmana Bumi”.
I put the business card in the drawer of the car and went back to the steering wheel again. What a strange day.
Cheerful colored graffiti adorn every area of the walls of this cafe. However, everything became gloomy when juxtaposed with a dark aura that shone from my mind today. I was not excited, my work was not completed. I want to stay here.
“Nothing interesting from this menu. Hhhhhhh.” I sighed after reading all the list of cafe food menus that he said were famous in this city.
“Indeed there's nothing here, Mbak.” That familiar voice in my life came to my ears. I was busy looking for the origin of the sound.
“Mas Kent!”
I was excited to see who had that voice. He was my best friend, a friend who always accompanied me when I was in college. You could say he knows what I look like. He was under me two years old, but he was too wise and mature, so I respected him as “Mas” before his name.
With such a special smile she approached my desk. He is the owner of this cafe.
“How are you the most beautiful mom in the world?” teasing him with a warm greeting.
“Aihhh .. I didn't bring it!”
“Iya, yes, deh.”
“Where to from, Mas? How long has it disappeared from circulation?”
“I'm filial to my mother, Ma'am. She was in need of a child next to her so I stayed there a few years.”
Mas Kent is indeed of Turkish descent, his mother is native there who married a man from Indonesia. Mas Kent is a Turkish-Indo boy.
Previously, college friends thought we were dating so close. However, surprisingly none of the two of us have ever felt the mutual attraction of the other sex. We were both friends from the beginning. When Mas Kent liked a woman, I was the first to know.
“How are you, Ma'am?”
“Long story, Mas. Someday I will tell you one by one. What is clear is that I am alone again.”
Mas Kent was the best friend who helped with all the events in my marriage to his father Jingga. He doesn't know what's happened in my life, I don't blame him because he's in Turkey.
“There is nothing that makes your day unpleasant until the aura is affected to the direction of my room.” Mas Kent pointed at his room not far from the cashier's desk.
“This is to be answered which one was?”
“Hehehe.”
“This cafe has been three years I have, actually this cafe is almost bankrupt when I buy, so it can be quite cheap. Well, because in Turkey I have a cafe too, so yes I changed the concept to the same one there. Thank God these two years I have returned capital.”
“Keren. Salute!”
“Ah is not cool-cool very compared to Mbak Dew who successfully became a career woman.”
“Jiaah, which is cool anyway who is not an employee of anyone alias become the boss himself. Well, I'm still a coolie.”
“All that should be grateful, Ma'am. All have their own roles, if all become boss then who will play?”
“Iya ya deehh. Hard talking parents.”
“Hahahahaa .…” We laugh longingly.
After some time we chatted to and fro about the past while having memories during college, finally Mas Kent came to the question of someone who made me not excited today.
I told you about my relationship with Mas Danial. At first I was hesitant to even be ashamed to tell it, but I knew Mas Kent was not an easy person to judge people from one point of view.
He was as wise as I had known him. He stayed silent for a long time without responding to my story, maybe he wanted to try to arrange more appropriate words so that I did not get worse.
“Feeling guilt may be as long as the portion is not excessive, just for caution in behaving and speaking. What you can't do is blame yourself too much for that heart problem there's no judge! There is only acceptance, then find a way so that we do not misstep.”
“Then I have to how, Mas?”
“Give up to God, for he who meets God then let God separate in His way!”
“Means I have to live this relationship continuously?”
“Face and see later what the result is like.”
I haven't been able to catch any advice from Mas Kent.
“There will come a hint of Allah how Mbak will behave really, just calm down.”
“Alright, Mas.”
I'm very sure Mas Kent felt my grief, but he was still careful to digest a problem that certainly could not be said to be easy. My position of being the second woman was a position that no one would ever consider to be right.
“His wife actually already knows, but it seems like Mas Danial has not known about it so until now he has never discussed it. I don't know.”
“Do you want to be his wife?” Mas Kent's question made my heart wail. I was silent for a moment after hearing Mas Kent's sudden question.
“If I say I don't want to, I must be lying, I've even wanted to have him as a whole. But that desire is because my love is growing on him. That feeling did not last long after I felt that Mas Danial did not want me too much.”
“Means if he asks to be his wife, does Mbak want to?”
“Entah Mas, which is clear until this second that feeling I have thrown away. It would just be my happiest dream.”
“Hmmmm ...” Mas Kent muttered without responding back to my answer.
“I know very well that our relationship seems unclear, but I believe this feeling of mine will one day lead me to another answer. I don't know what it is.”
“I also believe that Mbak can definitely get the best wisdom from this incident.”
“Iya, Mas. There was nothing more beautiful when I found out that I still survived to this very second. I'm alive and I'm fine.”
That day our meeting ended by making an appointment, if there was another chance Mas Kent would always accompany my worst days with Mas Danial.
He even said he was ready to be my shoulder. What makes me sad is that Mas Kent will not be in Indonesia for long, he could have left for Turkey suddenly without a plan because his mother is already old and needs special attention of her son.
