Dew Heart Traces
Dreams that Seem to be Real
Two years have passed, time seemed to give me a chance to recognize myself who was often wrong until I finally really knew. I've been stepping on the head four. 40 years to be exact. There wasn't much change in me, other than I increasingly believed there were many things in this world that I could do other than cry over a destiny that wasn't always as beautiful as a dream.
I woke up from my bed. Now I can face reality more without having to think everything is my fault. There is nothing to regret because everything is in His design.
“Embuuun ..”
The voice of the foreign call really surprised me and looked for where it came from. Today I want to try to find fresh air by surrounding the streets that are indeed empty by motorized vehicles. I was riding my bike every Sunday morning and while I was resting. The sound of the call blew my daydream.
There was a pair of hands waving towards me. I blinked my eyes to recognize that face.
“Reva?"
Is he Reva, an old friend of mine who you could say has been 10 years more I never saw or know the news again?
Paddling his bike he approached me. And it's true that he's Reva.
“Embun .…” Diia hugged me tightly, very tightly. I don't feel the feeling of having to pop in my veins. We have all the memories of our friendship.
“How are you doing?” he said with a choked tone. I felt his longing for me.
“I'm fine as you see now, Reva.”
“You have not changed at all, still remain beautiful and young,”.
“You too, Rev.”
“Where are you now? Is it still in the old place?”
“I moved house two years ago. But my former home is still occupied adekku.”
“I didn't expect us to meet here. I couldn't find you in the sosmed either so I really lost your word.”
“I have indeed not played sosmed for a very long time. My phone number was also changed two years ago.”
We exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet again. Ah, this is a new beginning, that I still have life, old friends and new ones are popping up more and more. Orange has started living in the dorm so at home I am alone.
The job requires me to travel around Indonesia even to neighboring countries. My career has been brilliant because the last two years I tried to focus on work. It also helped my healing process from my separation wounds with Mas Danial.
By replacing all the access that can make me connect again with Mas Danial is indeed a form of my commitment to Hana. That she won't see a strand of my hair again. In the old house also has been occupied by my youngest brother and two orphans who I have been studying for two years.
My age is not young anymore, so I already have a different purpose in life, I have been through a lot so I learned not to always think that I do not deserve to be happy.
I deserve ... even very worthy to be happy. That was my promise to Mas Danial, although until this moment my feelings for him are still the same. Still love her, by trying to live happily.
It is not forever to live about having a partner or having love in a union. Because it's not all of us who have the power to design it. Although human nature is to have a partner.
“Bu, there was a delivery of flowers this morning when Mom was out cycling.” Mr. No, the housing complex security guard told me shortly after I wanted to open the gate of the house.
“I put it on the guest table, Bu.” Mr. No, I deliberately hold the key to the house to occasionally check the state of the house if I travel everywhere.
“Still yes, Sir.”
After putting the bike in the garage, I headed to the living room to see who sent me the flowers.
I smelled the fragrance of the flowers for a while, then grabbed the card tucked between the beautiful flower stalks.
~Shelai longs for Dewun~
There is no sender name. Then I went to my room and cleaned myself up after sweating. A few moments later I finished my bath and put on my clothes to relax. While opening the laptop, I looked at the calendar on the screen.
”Hahh, isn't it my birthday now?” I hurriedly checked my phone, sure enough there were dozens of chats that were missed with the contents of speech and prayer on the day I turned 40 years old. There are some phones too, apparently I did not bring a cell phone when cycling earlier.
Indeed, sometimes I deliberately turn off the phone on Sunday so that I can focus on taking a break from work routines and information that will interfere with the mind.
Sometimes I smile reading the naughty words of my office friends and playmates. Not a few also those who pray for me immediately get a soul mate or true love.
Whatever it may be, let their prayers be lifted up until finally from the multitude of prayers, God grants whichever. My job is to guarantee and ask for the best according to God.
“Who sent the flowers? Why there is no name. What does he want to show you?”
I tepis all possible friends who intend jail to just make confusion. I took a glass of water and took a sip and dropped my body on the sofa.
I fell asleep too…
“I miss you Dew. Don't you feel it?”
“I'm happy now, Mas. Don't worry about me, yeah.”
“I'm not happy. I'm still hurt by our farewell.”
“Mas should also start happy. Because love should not be forced together if it ends up hurting each other.”
“Am I too much wrong that you won't forgive me?”
“Nothing is wrong, Mas. Our love is not wrong. Only we can't be together.”
“Mas, be happy like me. Forget that pain.”
“Do you still love me?”
“Iya, Mas. Nothing has changed from my heart to Mas.”
“Then why did you leave me like this?”
“My love is not selfish, Mas. My love is the same, it doesn't have to be accounted for. My love is not a burden. My love doesn't want to be happy over the tears of other women. My unconditional love Mas.”
“Then what about me? Can't I be happy with having you?”
“Don't ask me, Mas. Because I don't have the answer.”
Cold sweat soaked my body, I woke up. The dream was very clear. Mas Danial's. What the hell is going on with me? Why can I dream in broad daylight about Mas Danial?
