Dew Heart Traces

A Gift

This memory is played back.

Ah ... how I miss the warm gaze of that man. He was the man who always made me have to be able to withstand everything I felt as my feelings got bigger for him. I could never hate her even when she let me cry in longing.

Mas Danial who teaches how love is very simple, no need to overdo it so that the levels do not evaporate quickly. Because one day humans can change without us being able to avoid it and that's when that simple love makes us survive not to get too sick.

Evidently until now, my love has never changed and I still feel that Mas Danial also feels the same way towards me. He just didn't want to force something that wasn't his destiny nor did he want to force it with me.

Our love may not be wrong, we realize if not forever love will end in a union. God has found it for one reason. Whether to learn or teach, either will be the most important part or just. But still be the best at that time. Do it sincerely even if it does not become what you want it to be. Nothing is in vain because God meets.

I cannot answer all the statements of the Star at this time, for I cannot involve it while my heart still inhabits it. It would be very unfair if I ended up always comparing him to Mas Danial. They are both different people and have different characters when it comes to loving me.

Let the time that answers all, without having to be forced immediately must be in accordance with the wishes. We have also not known each other for a long time and there are still many things to consider to go further.

During our stay in Germany we often spent time getting to know each other. The weather sometimes reaches zero degrees Celsius, but it does not prevent us from continuing to chat when we are not busy with work.

Actually a lot of work is me, because Bintang only visited one of its branches here without a lot of special agenda. He always patiently accompanied me to work every day. He said that he knew how I worked and could spend as much time with me.

Arrived when we had to return to the land. Of course something will change after we return to our lives. We will not be as free as Germany. Our time together and chatting would definitely be reduced by a lot.

The star is a very intelligent discussion companion, he always knows how to control the conversation. It seems that he has experienced many things in his life. I haven't fully told you about my past. The darkest past in life is life with an orange father.

The thing I want to erase most in my bad memory. It does not hurt anymore to remember, but for me it is enough to be part of the story alone in the journey of my love.

Stars never ask too deeply about it. He prefers to talk about a future that can be planned and dreamed as beautiful as we want.

She once asked why I could be withered by Mas Danial when I had a deep trauma about love. At that time I did not have the right answer because it just happened.

“I'll miss the moments we chatted intensely like there Dew.”

“Ahh .. You will be able to easily find me,” I replied accordingly.

“Iya also sih.”

“Thank you for patiently accompanying me to work, yes. See you soon.”

We split up to go back to each other's homes. Jetlag I still feel when I get home. After cleaning up, I looked back at the package at the dinner table. Mr. No. kok not tell me if there is a package, what is because so long that he also forgot to convey it to me?

I slowly opened the package. A purse? Who gave my gift a wallet? I took the card tucked between the boxes.

~Im sorry this gift came late. Even very late, but hopefully can be useful~

No more names of the sender. Who sends something twice without a name? My mind is wild towards Mas Danial. I remembered how I had not managed to find a wallet that suited me.

I did not have time to search again because of my busy life, and until now it has never used a wallet. Mas Danial once expressed his desire to accompany me to buy a wallet even though it never materialized.

Small purse light brown. Mas Danial still remembered apparently that I did want a wallet that was only enough for my cards and practically put my small bag. I don't really like big bags. Hmmm is this really from him?

Mas, Honey.

My tears are still shed today because I miss you.

I don't know when my heart will get used to it without your greetings and love, even if it hurts but I will try to survive.

I love you so much, baby, so please understand.

I am always weak and suffer with my own feelings, remembering the past full of tears just makes me so tired. And now God wants me to learn to let you go without me having either.

Pray for a kind time to patiently accompany me to forget you, if not, then I want to remember you with a smile not with tears.

Mas Darling.

How are you today? May your heart be well.

I love you so much. I miss you so much. Forgive my heart that does not know this self. It's just that I can't do anything anymore.

I took a deep breath after rereading my diary book when I was still with Mas Danial. Those long days have tormented me so much. Not because of anything, other than I miss him a lot.

I was never free to reach it, I was never free to see it. We are separated by distance and time. I was bound by love, but could do nothing but just wait for her. So tormenting me at that time, but I can what with his feelings growing.

I wanted to hide in an uninhabited quiet place. No one knows me. No one will judge my heart. And I want to scream as loud as possible. I want to say and ask the leaves. On wind.

What wrong? So I deserve to be a sinner in love? Can't I be happy too? If I can choose, I don't want this love! Conta's gonna make another woman's heart hurt. But I can what? I can't choose. I can't!

Human law is very narrow. Like the rich man is identical with pride and arrogance, while the poor man is weak and needs to be pitied. Yet there are still many rich people who are kind and not arrogant, and also poor people who do wrong to others.

It is unfair to judge someone from the wrapper because eventually we will always judge others by the limit of the outer glasses alone without seeing it full of empathy.

At that time I was taught directly the same God to know how to be the position of the second woman in the relationship of others. Nowadays people call it the “Pelakor”.

Can the heart be broken? Is the human heart like an item that can be snatched at will? I don't know from the glasses where we can see it.

Indeed there is no point if the second woman destroys the order of the household that is already good, but is it purely his fault? Are there two people playing a role there? It could even be three people who play a role.

It's just that not a few also take the opportunity to not care in any way to justify his feelings. So that the role of this second woman is increasingly tarnished by egoism and halal ways of taking shortcuts.

What an amazing lesson for me again, again, and again.

If I had to hide again

Then I'll do it

But I'm sure he'll find me

Because no one could love me more

As if I were other than Him

He always accepted me as weak

He always controlled me strong

He was always there for me when I got hurt

He always understood me completely

The time is getting more open

That I cannot live without Him

I need him more and more

I rely more on Him

Laughter and tears that only He knows what they mean

I am nobody without Him

The heart that He holds is so beautiful

My life He touched with His plans.

He finally made me calm

When crying falls

The Duhai the Most One..

Let me always be your concern

Your love, Your beloved

even though I am a sinner

Please, that's everything to me