Dew Heart Traces

Giving Space to the Heart

Why does the dew always come in the morning? It could be because he became a natural coolant before welcoming the sun that will be increasingly hot. Especially if at night the rain soaks the earth.

Some say the rainbow is more beautiful to see just before the earth is really bright. Rainbows are the friends of dew, they are proof that all natural cycles have been regularly designed by the Creator.

Maybe yesterday and now your tears are still hidden behind your smile, not even completely dry. But rest assured tomorrow you will surely be able to see dew to cool your heart. A beautiful rainbow will calm your heart. Welcome hope in your heart without rejection because you feel unworthy to be happy.

Hasn't this earth taught a lot of the meaning of life that there is not always night, there is morning, afternoon, evening, then evening.

You will not be considered weak, if you continue even though you occasionally look back for caution. It is okay to cry occasionally so that your heart can let out a sense that may not be stored anymore, because your tears are not proof of your weakness.

I was a year closer to the stars. He was very patient in waiting for my heart without complaining in the slightest, even if he accepted me even though my heart was not entirely for him.

A few months ago I received her heart, you could say she is my current lover. He appreciates my process of rearranging my heart to be able to fully accept him in my heart. I gave my life a chance to be happy once again with the presence of the Stars. He was also familiar with the orange, they were quite familiar. 

It's just that I'm not ready to marry the Star yet, I don't want my heart to betray her in marriage. I want my heart to be left to no one but the Stars.

Reva and Irvan are so happy to hear we are in a relationship. They played a key role in our meetings and relationships. I didn't expect at this age that I would rediscover the hope that was once imprisoned by my own sense of self.

God has not allowed my heart to completely forget Mas Danial. Nor do I want to force my heart to expel that feeling, let it naturally disappear. Because after all, Mas Danial was a good man and never intentionally hurt me. There was no proper sentence to describe how soft his heart was. A very lonely man, a man who always withholds everything he feels.

He is not good at expressing his feelings. He's a poor man who often makes me weak by his tears. He always smiled even though his heart was empty. He once said that my presence made him dream again, a beautiful dream that would never come true.

“Mas, as often as my heart wants to forget you, yet I never can. Now there's a man named Bintang, he loves me so much, maybe even more than your love is like me. I'm gonna set up my wish porch with him, Mas. I want to love him as much as he loves me. I can't yet, Mom. I'm still tied to you. I still miss you to this day. I don't know why this love doesn't want to leave my heart. Please let me go, Mom. I told you I want to be happy even without you.”

I stared out my window. Previously Mas Danial wanted to make a beautiful room with a window facing a cool outside view.

He knows I love to write when I'm in the room, he also knows my favorite room is my room. Maybe when he said that, he realized that we couldn't possibly unite so he wanted to give me the gift I liked the most.

If you miss like this

Then what should I do?

Do I have to say

No need for you to come, Cimta

If my fragile heart becomes more and more fragile

“There will come a time when I can smile happily when I remember you, Mas. Not with tears of longing like this. Truly you are a love immeasurable by reason and logic. The further you are within my reach, the more I know how this love gives me things I cannot resist at all. What are you doing, Mom? Are you happy already? Is your heart no longer lonely?”

With trembling hands I deleted one after another the photos of Mas Danial that I still kept in my mobile gallery. Drop by drop tears fell looking at Mas Danial's face in the photo. I should be able to dare to erase that most precious trace of her from all sides of my life.

“Let me continue my life, Mas. So that we can both be happy with our lives even though our paths are different,” I said.

Finally nothing remains of Mas Danial's memories through the images of the events.

“Honey, again what?” The message from the Stars stopped my daydream.

“I just finished tidying up the books in the room,” reply

“Later not to forget, right?”

“What time will you pick up at home?”

“Habis Isya aja let it taste good.”

“Ok deh.”

“I love you.”

Every time the Star said that sentence I could not answer it. I don't want to lie to him. That would be very unfair to Bintang and fortunately he never protested against it.

The shadow of Mas Danial I have not been able to erase from my memories. Although our meeting was relatively short, but my feelings are tied up very strongly to this day.

“You're so beautiful tonight, Darling.”

“Haduh ... don't start the fight.”

“Loh. Do I want to ask the people who are eating here?”

“Hush, don't be weird, deh.”

“Preview everything. I want to ask all of you, is my lover very beautiful?” Without permission, Bintang grabbed my hand to stand up and desperately asked everyone who was eating his food at the restaurant where we had dinner.

“Cantiiik!” Simultaneous cheers from most of those people while applauding.

I'm really ashamed of it. Stars cannot be controlled if they have a desire.

“Thank you everyone,” replied the Star out loud.

I was bowed while covering my face after experiencing that embarrassing event. We are not ABG children anymore, but the behavior of Bintang certainly makes all couples there jealous or even amazed at his madness.

“No, they all said you were beautiful.”

“You are, yes. Crazyhead!”

“Hahahah.”

The stars are crazy. He was crazy to accept the woman who still loved the other man in his heart. He's crazy to wait for a woman who's not young anymore. He's crazy for loving me who knows when to love him.

“You know, I feel my life means a lot after knowing you.”

“Why did you say that?”

“The more I know you, knowing your life and your past, the more I want to marry you. I want you to know that true love exists. That love is there for you. It is time to be happy to be loved. That's why I don't care if you still love that guy. The man who released you this precious. This man who does not know your wonderful love.”

I don't know how many times the Star has broken through the deepest recesses of my heart with its words. He knows how to love me and how much I want to love him like he loves me.

I am very sure that one day my heart will surely melt also with his extraordinary love. That's why I want to give my heart a chance to know her love.