Dew Heart Traces
Gleaning Memories
I entered the letter I was going to send to Mas Danial. I knew very well he could not yet willingly break away from his promise to the Stars. I will never be able to accept their agreement. The star asked for that without asking for my approval.
Nania, Orange, and Bik Nah drove me to the airport. I couldn't see their eyes one by one because I definitely wouldn't stand it. I don't know how long I'm going to take this trip.
“Ma, never hesitate to smile and laugh there yes, Mama will not be judged by anyone for being happy. Papa also definitely wants Mama not to drag on in sadness,” said Orange who might think I would punish myself there by not allowing myself to smile let alone laugh. Because the social law always considers a sin or a mistake if we are too soon to be able to laugh after we lose our closest people. As if we could only cry and dissolve in sadness.
“Iya, Darling. Mama will laugh a lot there.” Kissing her many times, we parted ways.
****
The clouds, the divine painting I looked at from behind the window of the plane that was taking me to Istanbul, Turkey. It occurred to me for a moment to imagine the Star next door holding my hand enjoying the beauty of God's creation. It is remembered how we chatted while traveling to Germany at that time.
“Look at me who now can only miss and think about all our memories. It's amazing this punishment for me,” I muttered as if talking to my husband.
The driver stopped the airport car I was riding in, right in front of the hotel where I was staying. Romance Istanbul is the name of the hotel, Nania said just ten minutes from the famous Grand Bazaar. I really want to be close to the Blue Mosque which he said can also be reached just by foot.
After checking in, I went straight to my room. Everything was so easy because it was arranged in such a way by Nania. She was indeed reliable, it was not wrong that the Star always praised the intelligence of the girl. Nania is very young, she is in her thirties, but she has already proven herself to be successful. Sometimes I think why Bintang did not marry Nania who is also still single. The Star's reply finally made me understand why they couldn't get married.
Nania is actually arguably the stepson of the Star father. He was abandoned by his mother after Star's father died. It was the star who raised her stepdaughter until she finally became a confidant of the Star in the company. Bintang's father after being left dead by Bintang's mother, married again to a woman who had a daughter, Nania. So indeed Nania did not have the slightest blood relation with the Star, only she had from the beginning already considered her own sister Nania so it was impossible for her to marry him.
The classic interior of the city of Istanbul is very thick from all corners of the hotel and the room where I stay. I have never traveled here, so I am still a stranger.
I took the phone from inside the small bag, I looked for a name that had been on my mind after arriving in this city.
“Mas, I've arrived at hotel”
“Aalhamdulillah's. In a few minutes I will be there to pick you up.”
“Iya, Mas. Relax I'm not in a hurry.”
“Siyaaap.”
I put my phone back on the table and dropped my body while staring at the ceiling. What a beautiful and romantic room this is, shuffling my imagination to a memory of what it was like to be embraced by my lover.
The smell of her body was so fragrant it was still very deeply embedded in my memory. When our eyes were very deep. We are looking for who the owner of the heart is, I have a smile considering how beautiful it is loved by him.
“You know what I like most about you, darling?”
“What is it?”
“Both your eyes.”
“Why?” much
“Your eyes are as if talking to me,” he said softly.
“Then?”
“I seem bewitched by him to keep looking for what you want to tell me. However, right now I can only catch that the only thing you want is to be loved.”
He kissed my eyes and then came down to my lips. Am I starting to love her as pure as my heart? The rumbling sound of my chest I can't hide anymore. My heart was racing faster than usual, I couldn't control myself and I kissed back. His decapitation was able to disturb my femininity, I was stunned by the passion of his love that never extinguished me.
“Mbak, I've been in the lobby yes.”
“Iya Mas's. I'm down.”
From a distance I've seen the figure of a friend that I miss so much, Mas Kent.
“You're kok kurusan sih Mbak?”
“I have to diet for a woman of my age, Mas.”
“I also defend condolences for Mas Bintang and Fatih ya Mbak.”
“Iya Mas's. Thank you very much.”
We sat on the hotel lobby couch. We talked a lot about everything especially about my journey with the Stars. It was seen that Mas Kent was unable to speak any more after hearing all my stories.
“I can only pray that Mbak can be given the best time to heal your heart. I know very well that Allah will not be wrong in giving His servant a test.”
“Iya, Mas. They are both a gift and a gift of tears even though it may be short in my life, but I do not regret it. Precisely I would not know what my life would be like if God I never left them to me.”
“I'm sure all will definitely skip Mbak although it will never be easy.”
“See me now, Mas. I'm fine, right? I will live happily for those who love me, for those who do not want me to grieve for long.”
“Iya Ma'am. Sometimes we need a reason to survive so that we have the strength to start over from the scattered fragments. I will always be ready to be your shoulder whenever you want Mbak.”
“Iya Mas's. I know, God is very good at giving people who will always be there to be with me and defend me morally.”
“Oya, today your plan is going where, I am ready to be your personal tour guide Ma'am. I know this city very well so feel free to ask me to introduce it.”
“Iya Mas's. I'm still very foreign but I'm lucky to have a friend who lives in this city.”
Then we began the adventure, starting from the hotel to the Blue Mosque, seeing the trail of Sultan Muhammad Al-Fatih the legendary conqueror of Constantinople.
I have no regrets about naming my son, the same name as Sultan Muhammad Al-Fatih. At a very young age, he was able to show his greatness to conquer a city that is very difficult to collapse. I unceasingly admired the traces of his still terrible struggle.
“Finally your dream realized to have a boy that you will name like him huh Mbak. Since college you always say it with sparkling eyes. But God does sometimes always have other plans for His servants.”
“That's enough Mas, I'm very grateful even if it's only a moment. We will meet again there.”
“True Mbak. You've been very lucky to have a lot of paradise savings.”
“Mas Danial who gave it a kiss at birth.” My words made Mas Kent stop his steps and turn his body towards me.
“I also feel there are pieces missing when you tell me about the Stars, Ma'am!”
I nodded and continued my steps leaving Mas Kent still riveted. He seemed to be half-run after me.
