Dew Heart Traces
Then Marry Me
“I'm sorry, Star.”
“What are you sorry for? You are innocent. Never be burdened by this heart! I just want you to feel my love without forcing yourself to reciprocate. I want you to know how it feels to be loved because you are worthy, even worthy of being loved. They are the fools who have hurt and made you cry.”
Oh God, how can the person you sent into my life know what it's like to be loved?
“Even the garbage thrown away by people still has meaning for people who pick it up. Moreover, you are very valuable and not trash.”
My tears are spilling. I'm so lucky to be loved by men like the stars. He who never forced anything on me.
“Do you mind marrying a woman whose heart is still inhabited by others?”
“I want if it's you, Dew.”
“Then marry me, Bintang.”
I saw the eyes of the Star glazed over. Her lips twitched, maybe she didn't think I was the one proposing to her tonight. I don't know where to get the power to say that word.
The star knelt in front of me and held my hand. I'm sure all eyes are on both of us.
“Are you not kidding, Dew?” ask her with a vibrating tone. I shook my head.
“Do you want to accept women who might not give you offspring?”
“I want if it's you.”
“Do you want to accept my very dark past?”
“I want if it's you.”
“Do you want to age with me?”
“I want, I want.” The stars hugged me very tightly. He was crying, crying and happy.
My wedding plan with the Stars has spread to all my friends and family. Not a few who cried because I was alone long enough since my separation twelve years ago. When I was about forty-two years old.
Orange is also very happy because he always encouraged me to want to marry the Star. He's been calling the Stars with a call “Papa” since the beginning they were familiar. The star loves the orange like her own child.
In a few weeks our wedding will be held. I ask that the event is not too crowded, I just want to invite close friends and family. Moreover, our wedding is not the first time so we want the event to be sacred without a luxury party that is not too useful.
For a moment I could forget my feelings towards Mas Danial. Maybe it's because I'm too focused on preparing myself to be a wife morally, because a lot of things are going to change. I just have to balance my job as a career woman and a wife. I used to work because I wanted to keep myself busy, but now there is a Star that will be my priority as well.
The star wouldn't forbid me to keep a career, even he said it wouldn't change my independence or my life after I became his wife.
Stars get angry if I lose my freedom because of his presence in my life. Let him be like that, but not with me who certainly should be able to adjust all.
***
The event is held in Sahdu. Many tears were spilled at that time, carried away by the atmosphere because of haru and happy. I also saw the Star was very moved after all the witnesses said the hijab qabulu “sah”. I've officially become Madam Star Laksmana Bumi.
The first night, we spent in a hotel away from the city center. The place is beautiful and beautiful. It can be said to be a private hotel. Stars want to spend our first precious time in a place we will never forget.
Although it was not our first experience, but of course there is still a sense of clumsy, because our loneliness has been very long. We haven't experienced anything like that in a long time. We are now with a different couple.
We were sitting on the sofa in the hotel room. None of us had any intention of starting first to talk. Our minds are still going nowhere, awkward.
I felt the Star's hand start touching my hand. She stroked him gently then kissed him. We looked at each other meaningfully and quite closely.
“I won't force you tonight,” he said suddenly.
I don't understand what the stars mean. Does he think I'm not ready to give myself to him tonight?
“I'd love to touch you tonight, but I wouldn't do that if you weren't comfortable.”.
I brought my body closer to her while caressing her delicate cheeks. Her hair was all black. For the first time I dared to pay attention to the details of the face of the Star which is now my husband.
“I'm your wife. I'm halal for you. I present myself to you tonight. I'm sincere.”
The stars moved and began to glaze over again. How much does the man in front of me love me, and how can I not sincerely pay my best respects to him?
Slowly he kissed my crown, then landed on my forehead. I heard him say a prayer while kissing my hair. Ahh, my husband, you seem to understand the sunnah well.
Our eyes clashed for quite a while, he kissed my lips softly. I could already feel her love, and that night was the most beautiful night for both of us.
“Do not! Please let me go! Don't touch me! Don't!”
“What's the matter, baby? What's up?” The stars swung my body that was already soaked in cold sweat.
“You had a nightmare, Honey?” The star hugged me after waking up from my dream. My eyes are still wet with tears.
“Your body is full of cold sweat.” The star started wiping my sweat with his hand. I hugged the stars and cried remembering my dream.
I see the Star is so sad to see me still having a trace of past trauma.
“I'm sorry, Honey. I promise I will make you forget that trauma. I won't touch you again until you're completely healed.”
“No. Don't say so, it's just a regular nightmare.”
That night the Star slept while hugging me tightly. How lucky I am to have a husband who loves me so much. Thank you, O God. You sent a man who would accept me with all my shortcomings, but he could very well get more from me.
Many times the Star kissed my forehead and stroked my cheek which was still awake even though my eyes were closed. I don't want him to worry about me.
