Dew Heart Traces

Cannot Avoid

There are things that I know and realize from the beginning I accept the growth of my heart to Mas Danial. He was the wound I had delayed until I knew when. As soon as I get ready, the wound will kill the heart again. But I don't seem to care about that.

From the beginning I realized that there was no future for our love. Not that I was desperate or hopeless, but fate as if wanting our love journey there was no future.

Danial is not a single man, he already has a wife and children. I was well aware that our relationship was off limits, our love was forbidden by the world. We are a bad example of the betrayal of sacred bonds. Moreover, I must be the worst criminal of a woman's morals.

If I could choose then I would definitely choose the best thing for all social views, the idealism of society for women like me.

I wasn't born into a street family, I was born and educated by the best parents. However, I also did not escape the handicap of life by failing to build a household. And now fall into a relationship that is certainly considered flawed by anyone in this world.

Then what can I do? The design of life is not me who has the power to change or create it, I am just a servant who cannot avoid the journey. I refused it, but my heart was helpless.

Who could choose to whom she would drop her heart? Even so, not a justification, if someone destroys the household of others. It's just that a sinner like me is it worth insulting because of his feelings?

”Among all the men you can choose, why me, Dek?” ask Danial one day.

“If Mas asks that then why did Mas take me into your life that already has its owner?”

We were both stunned by our own words.

There is no right answer to all of our questions. Danial never planned his heart to be anchored to me. We just started from a friendship with no interest at all. We just follow the heart without being too overused. We also maintain religious norms that we should not violate.

Impressed to have a pretext, but that was the truth, Mas Danial never tried to touch me a single hair. We also rarely met together, always Mas Danial to include his friends to meet me.

He had great respect for my chastity, for we realized that our hearts were wrong and did not want to add to it the deeds forbidden by God.

Mas Danial is also not a romantic man let alone a gombal. His simplicity in loving me is what makes me melt. I am a very sensitive woman of all things, even every detail of Mas Danial is far from my criterion of the man of dreams. But love always has a way of being put together to be the right thing.

He never promised me anything, not even a wedding. It could be that I remain a foolish woman in love, yet I never thought of that at all.

The trauma of failure is not easy to get away from me. Many psychiatrists also play a big role to be able to recover even though not completely. Almost eight years already, I myself and began to dare to see the world about these two years. Love for me was no longer there, until finally Mas Danial was present in my days.

“Basic woman teaser. Women are shameless!” The voice of the woman across. I don't know the woman who called me.

“You realize that your behavior has ruined the lives of others?”

All wrath and anger were directed at me. Surprisingly, there was no intention to hang up the phone. I was silent. Feet as if glued to the earth. Am I not worthy of those words?

“Your name is Dew, right? I already know where your house is, I want us to meet today!”

Without saying what name and purpose he came to see me at home, the woman hung up.

That's how I still don't know why, just want to wait for that woman. I waited for him for almost four hours. As if to end my waiting period, suddenly the house bell rang. The rumbling of my heart's voice was getting more and more erratic. Nature still wants me to be protected from the drama that will make Orange traumatized, today Orange is at his friend's house. “Alhamdulillah,” I said softly.

I opened the door and saw two women, one of whom I knew very well. Sure enough, she is Hana Mas Danial's wife. Did he call me four hours ago?

I thought in my heart and tried to calm down to ask God for help. Whatever happens, I will try to be sincere.

I let them in. What ayu and graceful Hana, amazed at the figure of Mas Danial's wife can not be denied. I saw her clear eyes as if immersed by tears ready to spill. Yes ... I am the cause!

I was the one who dared to tear down the laughter and happiness in his life. No one else had a big hand in Hana's tears but me.

After they sat down, I sat down. With slightly trembling hands, I fixed the location of the skirt that was stuck on the guest table.

For a long time the three of us were silent. No one wanted to start the conversation until a voice finally echoed.

“What do you think of when you have an illicit relationship with a man who already has a wife and children, Ma'am?” It turned out that it wasn't Hana who called me, I recognized the voice of the woman who was talking to me.

“Aren't you also a woman who has children? If it happens to you, how does it feel?”

He took a deep breath, then continued his words, “I'm Hana's sister who called you earlier. I may not have the right to interfere in the affairs of the three of you, but as a big brother, I cannot stay silent to see my sister's household on the edge just because of other women.”

Hana hasn't said a word. I didn't dare to look at him directly, but I knew his heart must have been crushed, holding all the anger against me.

I'm still waiting for a word from Hana, even she has the right to berate maki. However, until the end he did not say anything until our gazes met. Unexpectedly the tears we both spilled at the same time. Oh my God, my heart feels like it's squeezed.

“I'm sorry,” I said in stammering.

I saw Hana grab her brother's hand and take him away from my house. Hana left me who was sobbing crying while bowed still fixated. This time my world not only collapsed, but also shattered this body.