Dew Heart Traces
One Rainbow Color
Was it true that I was blind when I saw a world that was never colored for me? Star I haven't told you how I have so many colors in my life. It's just that right now I want to keep it until the right time I talk to him.
“Have you ever thought that a person who looks like he is not enjoying life is actually not because he does not know how to enjoy it but because he knows that life is not just to be enjoyed but a struggle to survive?”
“It was for people who felt his life was unfair.”
“Can be. But couldn't that person be judged on his happiness just because he was trying to live his life in his own way?”
“You mean to say that you are currently happy?”
“Hmm .…”
“Then what do your tears that did not stop that night mean?”
I was silent to the Star, I did not know what to answer for the incident that night.
“I'm happy to chat with you, Star but I have to go back to the office.” I looked at the clock in my hand, it's time to get back to my job.
“Alright, happy working. I still want to be here to spend my drink,” replied the Star I assented.
“I always see your back leaving me, Dew.” The short message I received from Bintang, a few seconds later when I left it was still sitting in the cafeteria that made me stop my steps.
I remember how much I hated Mas Danial's back when he left me every time we parted. I was very sad and knew what it was like, and now the stars are saying the same thing as I used to.
I turned around to see the Star still there looking at me. I tried to smile back at her message.
“I wait tomorrow in this canteen and in the same place we sat earlier huh?”
Then I looked towards the Star for wanting to see her reaction read my reply. He nodded with his charming smile.
Tonight I can't close my eyes, am I impressed to give the Stars hope in reply this afternoon? Ah, I don't know.
Why do I have such courage? Is it because I once felt great sadness when Mas Danial became the most important part of my life, but he did not return my love like I loved him so much. Then again I must realize that I am only the second woman in the heart and life of Mas Danial.
I am not a woman who is considered like a treasure in her life, I am just a woman who accompanies her emptiness and loneliness. Just that, then what can I do to force Mas Danial's heart to be just like mine.
My tears are dripping again. Is this what the stars say that I am actually a colorblind person who cannot see a rainbow?
“Mas, did you know that I am still so naive with my heart? If time still needs to keep me company longer to stop loving you, then let this be my secret. I'll be able to Mas. Be able to really keep my promise to be happy without you.”
It's raining, it's so hard tonight
As if I knew what was happening to me
Not the world I cried for, but a reflection of myself so dark
Looming my steps
There's so much I have to pay here
To make yourself cleaner from stains
I don't know in such an amazing way from God
That I may know that my self and my life are within His grasp
Forgive me, Lord
So beautiful you gave yourself this gift of love
Through her who captivated my heart
I get happiness as good as a wound at the same time
He who accompanied me, he who made me laugh, cry
Thank you for this love Rabb thank you
You let my heart lock for so long
Finally you let him come and open it easily
I know that no one is apart from Your plan
And so is he whom I love
Let the rain be my witness, keep my heart
He is precious in my heart right now
I love her because I love my heart
This precious one.
****
The stars were already sitting sweetly at our place yesterday eating lunch. He waved his hand with a slight smile.
“Today I'm not wearing too official right?” greet him with a cheerful tone.
“Hmmm .. You seem happy again?”
“Of course, until last night I couldn't sleep so happy.”
“Emang what is it?”
“At last the woman I thought had a heart as hard as a rock could be slightly withered to see one rainbow color.”
“Ah .. too soon concluded.”
“I don't care if I'm wrong. Because obviously that woman was the one who offered me to have lunch together today.”
I couldn't help but smile at the stars. Alright, I made peace with nature who wanted me to spend some more lunch time with this man.
“Oh yes, next week I want to go to Germany,” I said tell Bintang.
“How long?”
“Two weeks at most.”
“It's cold there you know.”
“Iya. But I can't delay my departure because I have to check the production there.”
“Can I come?”
“Hah, how weird are you!”
“Why should it be weird, I also have a branch there so I can just set my departure to be with you next week.”
With ease he can break all my talk. I will never be able to beat the Stars to argue when she wants to do something.
He's always serious about what he says, sometimes it scares me a little. Namu, what can I do to prevent him from going there, that country is not mine.
And sure enough, what he said must have done without the slightest hesitation. We were on the same plane heading to Berlin.
It was over seventeen hours on our way to Berlin, so we spent a lot of time chatting and getting to know each other better.
The one he told me about how he split up with his ex-wife. It turns out that his story is also arguably tragic when he loved his wife so much, ex-wife who was unable to withstand her grief when they lost a child just by accident.
With every effort, they treat their psychic to relieve guilt, but eventually the ex-wife really can not continue the marriage, so that they do not hurt each other.
I can't judge anyone on that because everyone has their own way of survival and finding happiness.
