Papa's Little Daughter

Unable

"Why don't we go back to the apartment?"

"No Shan, we're a mall this bob here."

"Oh that's it."

"Yes." Yeah."

This little boy was muttering while biting his toothbrush. He is now bathed. After papa's funeral, I immediately took the time to bathe Shan, and then it was my turn to get the right to be cleaned.

"Laps, papa... So where was the kungkung delivered?"

My heart again pinched hearing the question asked by Shan. I don't know what I should answer now.

"Shan, the shackles are now in heaven."

"What heaven is pa?"

"Heaven is a good place. The most comfortable and happy place ever."

Shan was silent for a long time, as if thinking hard after hearing my explanation.

"So kungkung prefers that place huh pa? Kungkung why the hell, but it's also good here there are we-we. Do we not love him, so he left us and chose to go to heaven?"

Now it's my turn to be quiet. I really can't respond to what Shan throws at it with much less.

"Emmm pa, so kungkung will not come back again, huh? We won't see each other again, pa?"

"Shan come on a little fast. It's already malem, it'll catch a cold" I said, trying to shift the topic of conversation.

Finally Shan was done bathing, now is the time to dress him. As usual, he chose to wear what. He is very familiar with the location of the closet and also the arrangement of clothes that are in it, understand since childhood he has been trained like this. Moreover, mama also has not moved the Shan clothes that are still left some in the closet. Everything is still the same, the clothes that I have not had time to transport to the apartment are all the same arrangement.

"Shan's pink blanket!" screeches while directly pouring towards a blanket that is still folded very neatly on the bed.

"Later papa don't forget this pink Shan blanket yes pa. Shan can't sleep if he's not wearing this."

He lied, but he slept very soundly last night without that silly blanket.

"Shan, just stay in the room and don't go out. Papa wants to take a shower, wait." I said then went to the bathroom.

I'm not actually forbidding Shan to come out. It's just that outside it is still crowded, there are still many mourners coming. I just don't want Shan to go out of control and act in front of the people there.

After about ten minutes I finally came out of the bathroom. And immediately surprised to see the state of the room was empty. The boy didn't obey me just now.

You bad boy!

I hurried to put on clothes and followed him out.

I searched Shan all over the room and found that the boy was on my lap.

Mama's two eyes are very puffy and still occasionally sobbing it was guarding Shan. And I don't know why Shan seems to really enjoy being on your lap.

"Shan here." call me clean, because there are still many people in front of mama.

Shan did not rub me, he instead tightened his arm collar at the nape of my mom. She hugged my mom hard.

I finally decided to sit there next to my mom. And entertain guests too.

"This is Chandra? Where is his wife invisible? Your son is Chan, he's grown up too." said one of the guests.

I can only put a smile on my face. Do I need to answer all those questions?

"Yes this is Chandra's son, his name is Shan. Let's love salim first with this aunt." My mother finally answered.

Shan obediently grabbed the person's hand then kissed him a glance.

"Pinter's son. Where's your mama, son?"

"My mother has no aunt. I don't have a mama, papa's."

I'm stuck for a few seconds.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Pleased or sad, I really did not understand about my feelings after hearing Shan's innocent words.

The night was getting late, one by one the people who came to express their condolences began to retreat. No exception to the people who were in front of this mother.

"I said yes to Jeng Dewi. The stoic Jeng, I doain may the deceased have the best place by his side."

"Amen... Thank you very much yes. Hicks..." My mom started crying again. Mama cried while delivering the return of her friends to the doorstep. Shan was still on top of the sling.

I really wanted to take over Shan, but the boy was still staying with mama. Until a subtle pat received by the boy on his shoulder managed to make me a little inflamed. Not the claps but the words that were inserted were what ignited me.

"Switch Shan, keep looking for your mama. You have every right to know who your mom is" the man said without any guilt.

"Lad..." Shan now stretched both his hands towards me. I accepted it too, he now turned to my sling.

"Shan seems sleepy. Let her go down Chan." said my mom, and I nodded.

I brought Shan upstairs.

"Papa, why are you still crying?" shan asked in the middle of the journey.

"It's still sad Shan." I replied.

"Why be sad, not go to heaven. Heaven is a nice, comfortable, happy place. What else to suck?

Shan really did not understand what it meant to die.

I put both my shoulders together. Hinted to Shan that I didn't know either. I don't know what answer it will give him.

We were both at the door. Shan chose to get down from my sling. I thought he would step into the door on his own, but it turned out that my guess was wrong.

Shan turned around, and headed towards the door of the other room that was right in front of our door. Yeah, Yola's room door and her kids.

"Shan, what are you doing?" I was shocked when he brought his face closer to the keyhole. Next to his eyes he used to peek in through that small hole.

Just briefly. After that, he ran back to me.

"Why are you Shan?" ask again.

"Hehehe doesn't exist, just wants to look at it."

"What do you see hmm?"

Shan.

I took a quick breath and grabbed her tiny hand to enter together into our room.

"Udah yuk is now booby." I ordered.

Shan said he climbed into the bed and took the position he felt most comfortable in.

"Papa, Shan's pink blanket is the same teddy."

I pulled out the blanket and covered it. The bear was not forgotten. Shan is now ready to sleep.

"Why not sleep?" he asked when he saw me still sitting upright.

"Papa hasn't drowned Shan."

"Emm then Shan is not sleepy either. Shan sleep later just wait for papa until papa wants to sleep too."

"Well, is that it?"

"Abis papa pity melek alone."

My smile immediately expands. I immediately pinched both of her cheeks in a fit of anxiety right then and there. "OK okay if that papa will also sleep deh Shan."

"That's what dong pa."

I laid my body next to Shan right away. I glared at that little body.

Shan did not immediately close his eyes and fell asleep which was like he said. He looked at me very intensely for a long time.

I don't know, Shan seemed to want to say something.

"Why Shan? If Shan wants to talk, by the way. No need to be arrested." I said.

"Pa.." called him after a while.

"Yes Shan?"

"Salsa, Jimmy's brother has a papa, a mama. Papa himself also has papa, has a mama. So is Shan here the only one who doesn't have a mama?"

Deg.

Shan must still be thinking about that. And now this little girl is talking about it. Now I have to respond to what. I'm rattled. I don't know what to say to her.

I could finally close both of my eyelids. Pretending to fall asleep all of a sudden because I'm really so incapable.

"Well, are you sleeping? Well, pa, if that's what Shan also sleeps anyway."

'Pardon papa Shan...'

~tbc...