Our Love Among Corona

Love Among The Lockdown

Government extends PSBB or Large-Scale Social Restrictions. This is because Covid cases in Jakarta continue to increase. With the PSBB extension, plus Indonesia still closing access for foreigners, the less likely it is for me and Luky to meet.

Foreigners who are allowed to enter Indonesia are only those who have KITAS or perform state duties. This is bad news for me and for hundreds of other couples in Indonesia who are in relationships with foreigners. Every night we call for hours, and then weep. My mind is depressed and I have never felt this painful longing. When we could only look at the screen, we could not touch it and there was no certainty of our meeting.

"Are you sure we can survive?" ask her.

"I think we can" he answered.

"I read there were a lot of couples who ran aground during the pandemic" I said again.

"Maybe it's because their relationship isn't very strong. Who knows, we can get through this well" he entertained.

He's right, who knows if we can get through it. I came back crying, so much as I wanted to hug her right now. I miss her, as her hands curl around my body. I could hear his heart beating as I put my head there. I can remember well the way he kissed me and spoiled me with the touch of his fingers. On the bed, I curled up, crying myself to sleep.

When morning came, it was as if I could smell the coffee he used to make for me. Strawberry pancakes at the dinner table. He would walk into the room pecking my cheeks and say sweetie, I make you coffee. Wake up's. I'll be lazing around waking up with my eyes half closed. She would then kiss my whole body until I would get up and sit on the bed. He would bring the glass closer to my mouth to sip a little coffee and then have more passion to have breakfast, shower and go to work.

I put my face back on the pillow and cried. A painful longing. This story is just going on in my brain right now. How I restored confidence and trust in our relationship when I was mired in chaos due to the uncertainty of this meeting.

This is the weekend. I have a schedule to call my mentor. After an hour or so I was lounging on the bed, then got up and made coffee. I had to go through these unpleasant days. Working like a madman, might lighten my mind a little. That's what I'm thinking right now. Run, of course I repeat.

"I'm fucked up. I never thought that longing could be so painful when I couldn't meet and touch her in person" I told my mentor.

"How sure are you that you see Luky as my future husband?" this question should have been for myself, not for him.

"Don't know, we've never met. Just chatting a little over the phone through you. One thing you believe that love will find its way to survive in all conditions. If love is the basis of your struggle together, then love will show you the way. Don't forget, the good bond of friendship between the two of you also contributes a large portion in your love struggle" he replied again.

We chatted for a long time, not just discussing my relationships, work, and organizational affairs. I realized, after chatting with him, that love should give us strength. It is time to restore trust in this relationship. Why should I doubt and question all this.

I so remember, Law of Attraction, should this law of attraction can also work this time. Have not many dreams or desires fulfilled from the law of attraction practices that I do. Right, I have to go back to doing it. I returned to my room after chatting with my mentor. His words about love that point the way, should be the answer to our struggle. I know Luky didn't stay there. He continued to try and wait for answers from emails he sent to his government.

I took a book and I wrote a letter back to the universe. If before the universe had a way of flying it from New Zealand, Switzerland and then Germany to meet me in Estonia, it should be now. I appeal to God, to the universe and to all the good energies I believe in. With a sincere heart, for all my love for the universe, the planet, and for humanity I hope for help in our relationship.

It sounds like a transaction with God. As if I had done good things, demanding good things should have happened in my life. I imagined writing my wish in the sky of Istanbul. The letter I wrote on the plane about the characteristics of the man I wanted. All those details are on Luky. After 3 years, he flew to Estonia and answered all the prayers I wrote in the letter.

How I emptied my closet shelf at that time, to welcome a man who would come and I believe that's where the clothes we'd put. These crazy things I used to do when I had no idea who the man that was coming was. That's her! aha! The closet I emptied. It was as if giving me hope that filled my entire chest cavity. The idea reappeared. I walked to my closet and shifted the door to the left. I watched my clothes neatly arranged. Full of all the shelves that are there.

How can I have room for him, if I don't try to prepare myself to welcome him. I emptied some of my clothes and that's when I told him that Luky's clothes would be there later. This closet shelf I emptied would welcome his clothes. Make room, make room, make room for him to come, I told myself. Now is the time to restore all my confidence and in my relationship. May the miracle come. Luky can fly to Indonesia.

What else is there about something else I need to do. I have to act ready and as if Luky is coming soon. Oh I know, wedding dress. I have to buy our wedding clothes. I screamed happily to myself. Unlock HP, choose my wedding dress online. My choice was for a simple white dress that had a few flowers from the chest to the abdomen. White sleeveless dress. Don't forget I chose the long veil of the bride that dangles down. Then the white wedding shoes are full of flowers. Everything was white, I clicked Check Out, paid for it and waited for my wedding dress to come.

I danced happily, imagining that now I was ready to welcome him. Leave room in the closet for her clothes, on the shoe rack for her shoes, and buy her a wedding dress. Miracle, now come, I'm ready! I said to myself.