Our Love Among Corona

Love Content

Today, things are becoming clearer. However, my head was still filled with the various discussions I had with my mentor as well as Alin. All my beliefs are more towards Luky. Complicated, I asked myself, what is it like, in the first moment singles, no one came even to give a signal. Now, even two at once. It could even be 3 or 4 from the online application if I want more complicated. Fortunately, I deleted the app when I started a relationship with Allan.

"You really don't know? Whose heart is leaning toward?" Livi's waiting for my answer. Today it was just the two of us in our weekly regular discussions via phone. Because I wanted to tell him. Although others also already know about this turmoil of my heart.

"Yes, sometimes I feel like wanting Luky, but on the other hand my heart is still attached to Allan. Although Luky has not expressed his feelings seriously, but my heart feels more to Luky deh" I said hesitantly.

"So you've been guessing all along?".

"Whoever is in my position also knows that Luky has feelings for me Vi. It's just him, I don't know since when. You know, I always asked him to be my girlfriend first. The answer was always the same, he rejected me repeatedly. But now? Why the hell does he have to be like that, making people confused know no?".

"You're not really in love with Allan?"

"That's Vi, actually we can't really love two people at the same time?". I asked Livi.

"It could be. It is called heart, it can also be divided. Only, there are usually certain levels that make us measure our own love levels".

"Rather love?".

My mentor left me confused thinking how to take a stance that is not based on love or ****. Alin reveals 3 types of love to ask myself, which type of love I need most and which man has all three types of love. Now Livi, talk about the level of love that can be measured. A terrible circle of love. As I myself became more and more overwhelmed with doubt and confusion, all this.

"How do you measure Vi?". I waited for Livi's explanation like a naive girl who seemed inexperienced at all in love affairs.

It may be true, when it comes to love affairs, it feels like we look stupid and silly. There is no mathematical formula that can answer all the complexities of hearts and minds filled with various colors of love, I am the same.

"How to measure it, pick up a book and a pen. Write down all the pluses and minuses in loving them both. What are the strengths and weaknesses in loving Luky, then write also what are the strengths and weaknesses in loving Allan. Look at the list you wrote".

"Trus what else was after that?". I asked with excitement. Can't wait, after our discussion ends, I want to put this into practice immediately.

"Write also the strengths and weaknesses you will experience if you have to lose them both".

"Why is that so vi?".

"Because whatever happens, always remember, nothing is eternal. People in our lives will always come and go. Only ourselves survive to the end, even after we die. Be a good friend to yourself, because if you lose yourself, what is left?".

I was stunned by Livi's words. That's why I admire my Papa's girl. He's very right about this. Measure love and self-esteem. Right after discussing with Livi, I was immersed in measuring my love for these two men. Love is like a project, I thought. Yes, my own love project.

Geck! Geck! Geck! Again, definitely Luky.

"Mhmmmm.ok, in 20 minutes," I said.

I never said no when he asked me to play. Like a child who gets a gift, my heart beats cheerfully every time we play. Luky was already stirring the cards when I exited the room. He put it on the table, waiting for me.

"Before we play, I have a request" he said. I kissed the intention of something from this request.

"What?" I answered while pulling up a chair and sitting in front of him.

"Choose one of the cards and do not open it first. I'll give you a cue".

Gini if the same Luky, everything becomes a game and often exciting. Things I didn't get from Allan that were often serious. I ignored Allan for a few days. Message from him I reply briefly and always avoid when invited to meet.

For a moment, I thought about how I left her in her apartment. It's not because of anything, I just feel unprepared to meet him when I haven't finished the doubt I have right now. Ah but I don't want to think about it right now.

"Ready?" Luky broke my mind.

"Yes. So I'll take it?" I drew one of the stacked cards and waited for the next cue.

"Ok, now open it and put it on the table".

Red Queen love sign. I smiled at him and at the card in my hand. Because I really like this card. Luky also returned my smile, then took the queen card from my hand with his left hand. He leaned under the chair with his right hand grabbing my left hand. My heart is racing, this is why there is a drama scene suddenly.

"Vashla, will you be the queen of my life?" He still held the queen card in his left right hand and then placed it in my right hand.

"Oh, I think I've been the queen of your life all this time. Not yet, is it?" He laughed at my words.

"Indeed, but there hasn't been a statement from yourself. Forget about the queen and the king. I'm gonna get serious. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

My left hand was full of hers and my right hand contained the queen's card. My liver? Who was there? I saw Luky's sincere face in asking me. Allan's shadow also appeared at the same time. For a moment, we were immersed in our respective gazes. I need some time. I know the time to put an end to doubt, when I look into the depths of Luky's eyes. Anyway, one more day, let me find the steadiness of my heart.

"Give me one more day" I told him.

I chose Luky three years ago, when I first met his friend. But because he never admitted and I also doubt between friendship and the feeling of love that I have. The sense of what was really in my heart was more domineering. One more day, let me decide the end of the doubt. End my relationship with Allan and choose Luky for my partner in the future. I already know, Luky won my heart. However, another day, let me settle this heart condition with the level of love that I continue to measure.