Our Love Among Corona

Winter Healing

As he promised to try to treat my wounds about my past love and adversity, he kept his word.

"Tonight we will burn Palo Santo again. Before going to bed, so you can relax more" said Luky.

He believed in the strength of Palo Santo from wood that grew hundreds of years in South America. Burn it, then leave the smoke to the whole room, under the bed, and in the corners of the apartment. Our house became so mystical at night. We have a deep discussion tonight. About Corona, people who are separated can not meet each other with the adoration of his heart. Pandemics have taken away the comfort of everyone including the comfort of loving.

Filled with uncertainty, the two of us were also filled with grief. Are we going to experience the same as those unfortunate people who are now separated by Corona, with conditions so severe to their country. What if the next Estonia experiences the same thing as China and other countries.

Not only about Corona, our discussion then also propagated on all the traumas we had experienced in childhood. Luky didn't tell me much, because he wanted to give me the space to pull out all the stories of long-buried wounds.

"You've hurt a lot in life. All you have done is run. By working so hard day and night, you run from all the pain you face. I want to help you deal with it. Face your own wounds bravely".

He re-lit the Palo Santo woodcut and poured smoke into our room. Tonight, we want to sleep on the sofa in front of Tivi. A large sofa can even fit both of us if we sleep next to each other and still leave a lot of space. Luky also lights candles, according to him, through candles we can invite energies. I did not understand everything he said, but I died. He was like my grandmother and mother in the village who believed in such mystical powers.

He looked at the candle and read something. Then sit so close to me. Question after question then led us together. He asked me all the things I experienced in my childhood. Shortly thereafter, I was overwhelmed by my own stories. Sedu became so heavy. Somehow, I cried with a silent splitting roar all around us.

He hugged me for a long time and I was still crying for over an hour. I don't know why I'm crying. One thing I do know, the question from him provokes all the old memories. It was as if all the sadness that had been present in my life in the past, was coming back. I grabbed my own chest, I could feel the pain there. Over and over and over shepherding the wound with tears on my face.

"Crying, crying as much as you want. I'm here" Luky stroked my hair without letting go of his embrace.

There was a trauma in my childhood that I rarely told the world about. Every time I touch that part of my deepest wound, it invites all the pain I have buried. Like the memories with Allan, the one that made me so sick was not just because of his treatment. But the repeated treatment I received in my childhood.

Tonight, the aura of our home changed. The energy around me looks foreign to me. I cried and could not win the pain I was in. As Luky got up for a while from the sofa, I held his hand firmly.

"Don't go. Don't go, '" With my crying paused.

"I'm going to the toilet. Okay, I'll stay first".

I was even afraid of being left for a while to the toilet. Pain and fear ran through my heart followed by the deepest fragility. Like a child that his mother did not want to leave behind, I held Luky's hand as hard as I could. I shouldn't share this story now. I'm still fighting to heal new wounds. Why should I call old wounds. Maybe because Luky lured him. But not his fault, the moment is less friendly. Too heavy coming at the same time.

Perhaps it is so, the pain does not come one by one.often instantaneously when called by the gray cloud within me. Long time ago, I stopped crying. After being so tired, I couldn't even feel like I'd just move my body and then my crying subsided.

"Sleep, I'm not going anywhere" Luky rubbed my head back, sniffing my forehead. In the warmth of his hand, I slept so deeply. When morning came, I saw Luky sitting next to me smiling.

"Keep in, just for a minute" he answered approaching.

"Good morning" I rubbed the back of her hand with my hand.

"Good morning" she replied.

"First, when I opened our balcony doors, there were a lot of birds. They were lined up even partially on the balcony floor as well".

I got up from my sleep wanting to hear the story further. Birds lined up to fill the balcony. I've never seen him.

"Trus?".

"Surprisingly, the moment I opened the door and looked towards them, they also looked towards me and did not fly. I shut the door and said they could have our balconies".

I widened my eyes because this is something that amazes me. How could they not all be surprised or fly when Luky opened the door.

"Yes, and shortly after, they're all flying and our balconies are empty. All of them, with nothing left. Strange, though I no longer opened the door or surprised them".

"Did they come bearing the sign of something? I ask because usually birds are also believed to be carriers of news or signs.

"Mhmmm last night when I lit the candle, I called out the good energy and spoke to my dead grandmother. I said please take good care of my beloved".

I'm at a loss for words. Between being moved and intrigued by this mystical condition. Since last night the house has been filled with a mystical atmosphere as I cried so bitterly over all the wounds I had in my life. For all the trauma I've come back to say hello on a frozen night. Now, the story of Palo Santo, Dream Catcher, the Stone of Yaspis that I put on my neck, the candle flame that had moved itself even though all the windows of the house had been closed tightly, so from where did the wind come. Then the birds that filled our balconies. A sign of what all this is.

"Why do you believe in this kind of mysticism?" my many.

"Isn't everything in this world all interconnected. Nature, man, the supernatural. We connect with each other. Our energy is all connected".

I just woke up, and I don't want to argue with him. These conditions have all brought me other problems in my life now. My love among the mystics. I should give her the title of my story. Palo Santo, Dream Catcher, Yaspis Pendant, Candles, and birds on the balcony. Now, they are all involved in this journey of healing. Winter healing, I received all parts of the story, including this drama.