Our Love Among Corona

Allan Or Luky

It's a weekend, me and Allan intend to spend time together. Today I leave the apartment. Usually Allan would pick me up at the office or pick me up at the apartment. I told him he didn't have to pick her up today, I'd come alone to his apartment. I did want to spend my Sabbath night with Luky and come to see him on Sunday night.

"Vashla, you really have to go?" Ask Luky when I'm getting dressed. He was his hobby so, every time I dandan would stand at the door of the room and talk. Not infrequently my eyebrows are slanted next to it and not finished with the painting I forced. I am not really smart. Just want to look as if you can, while practicing.

"Yes, that was your ration last night. Now ration my girlfriend dong," I'll give her a full smile teasing him.

Almost all night we were busy playing Durak cards and I won almost all our games. I am proud to beat this German guy in playing this Russian card game. Our togetherness is full of laughter and often when we play we forget ourselves. So I choose to play on weekends or when I don't need to go to the office.

"What if it's at home?" I stopped making up and looked at her. With a question mark, I waited. Moments passed and we just looked at each other. I tried to read what was on his face.

"Well, my heart is not sincere you go to meet Allan" he said in a low voice.

I'm unmoving. Not knowing what to say, and what feelings my own heart is currently feeling. What I really feel about Luky and how Luky feels about me. This relationship looks complicated right now. There are boundaries of friendship that we seem to hit. Luky walked towards me, approaching and so close. Our faces face each other. I could feel his breath on my face because it was too close. He kissed me so softly. For a moment I forgot the status of our relationship. I let it and enjoy.

"I have to go, sorry"! I took my bag and walked to the door to put on my shoes. Luky stood up again and looked at me wearing shoes.

I was nervous, not knowing what to do with this. Trying to realize that I already have a boyfriend, who is currently waiting for me. And Luky, he is my own friend, how difficult and complicated this condition of the heart is.

"What if you don't go?" oh please, I really want him to stop holding me back.

"Luky, I have a boyfriend and you are my friend. I used to try to see you not just as a friend. But now it's hard when I have a boyfriend myself" my words sound steady, but my heart is filled with doubt.

"I don't know my heart either. Seeing you with the others, it's hard," it seems he still wants to continue his words, but I have to leave immediately.

I closed the door and left him who was still standing there. Get into the taxi with a boisterous heart. I don't know how to describe my feelings. What I should do. I was between Allan & Luky, now I question my heart. More inclined to Allan or Luky. But my best friend Luky, I reminded myself. Luky is passing through that dimension of friendship now.

Is this the right feeling? Maybe we were just confused, because we spent too much time together and lived together. So maybe this is just a temporary confusion. The taxi drove out of our apartment. I noticed the road leading to the forest and the river by the road we used to walk. Calm every time you go through this road because there are many memories with Luky, also with Allan.

The taxi driver told me that I had reached my destination. I have been daydreaming all the way. After handing over the cash to the driver, and saying thank you, I realized again that my love was in the apartment that was currently in front of me. Forget it, that Luky is my friend. No need to add complicated conditions.

"Hi, how are you?" Allan immediately kissed me at the entrance, without waiting for my answer. For a while, I let her kiss my lips, while I tried to feel it. I'm trying to forget Luky's kiss before.

"You good?" tanyanya after kissing me.

"Yes. I'm good?" I went straight in, took off my jacket and sat on the couch. Trying to make myself as comfortable as possible and not look nervous.

Now, I understand that feeling of cheating. Even though I didn't mean to do it.

"Want to drink wine?" ask while walking to the refrigerator.

I need it to calm myself. Either Allan read the color of my face under the dim light of his apartment.

"I'm sure you're an omelette" he said, handing me a glass of wine.

"Oh wow. Thank you".

"I know your omelet is the best. But mine also did not lose very much. I also prepared some Estonian bread and Salmon sauce that you loved yesterday".

"Mhmmm ok, I'm a laper".

"Do you want another menu?" he asked again.

"Emang is?" I thought he was just cooking that, that's a lot.

"There's dong. I'm cooking your favorite fried chicken too".

"Oh, thank you so much. You know what laper is".

What's best besides matching wine and fried chicken in the cold weather. I miss the Clap chicken. No plunge, Estonian fried chicken so. See you later, when I get back to Jakarta, I'll eat as much as I want. We went through the night happily. After eating, we watched an Estonian romance movie. Then drown in our celebration of love. Until then morning, the name was still there in my deep heart, Luky.

"I want to go back like that. I went to the office from my apartment, "I changed my plans all of a sudden and I knew Allan wouldn't like this idea.

"Why? When suddenly. The plan is to stay here until tomorrow. I can take you to the regular kayak office".

"The client went home anyway. I will see you next weekend okay?"

"Luky?" He looked at me angry.

I tried not to answer and decided to go home. Right now I don't know why my heart keeps calling Luky's name. I realized, his presence had really taken a large portion in my heart.

"Don't go!". Allan held my hand so tightly that I felt pain.

"I want to go" I insisted on breaking away. He quickly pushed my body against the wall and kissed me like a trance. I was freaked out when he did this, like it wasn't Allan I knew.

I pushed his body as hard as I could and ran down the stairs. Out of his apartment with a heart filled with sadness and confusion at the same time. I jumped into the bus from the nearest bus stop. Watching people enter the bus and then the bus slowly leaves its apartment area. I leaned against the wall of the bus. Repeatedly asking yourself. I'm why and Allan why is that to me.