Mother Connect

Failing to Be a Parent

"Doctor how is my son? What happened Doc?" Shinta asked softly, the doctor let out a long sigh. The look on his face was very disappointed "Do you know if your child is taking sedatives?"

"Strimming pills?" Shinta and Revan asked in disbelief, "No! My son may not be taking a tranquilizer pill!" Shinta turned her head towards her husband Revan "What is our son taking such a sedative for? Not possible!"

"Mama calm down!" Alan Pinta

"It looks like your child is depressed so he or she is taking a sedative pill,"

"Doctors know, my son was very small. He wouldn't understand, and understand that tranquilizer pill!"

"But that's the result I got, doctor Shinta!" Shinta was struck by lightning hearing the doctor's words

"Then how is my son doc?"

"Because of the addiction to sedatives, made Alana's body weakened. And hopefully this isn't serious,"

Alana is now conscious. Shinta, Revan and Alan enter the room occupied by Alana "Honey," Shinta hugging her son

Revan approached his son, looking into his son's shady eyes "Son, can you ask?"

"Yes papa,"

"How did Alana get that sedative, son?" Alana fell silent, she looked so nervous "Mafin Alana papa!"

"Son, papa won't be mad at Alana. But Alana has to be honest with you, son! How can you take that sedative?"

Alana cries, looks very depressed "Since the departure of Gunawan's grandfather and also Syafa's grandmother makes Alana very sad. Alana couldn't afford to lose them pa, only grandma and grandpa understood Alana. Grandma Lily and Grandpa Tommy are not here either. Alana's guilty papa, but it's one way to make Alana feel calm and forget Alana's sadness. Alana feels alone papa, since the departure of Syafa's grandmother and Gunawan's grandfather. Alana is devastated, forgive Alana papa! Then, a year ago Aunt Jennika was gone too. All leave Alana, papa!"

Revan hugs his crying son regretting his deed "Then where did Alana get that sedative son?"

"Alana's been using it for the last year, papa. When Alana went to Aunt Jennika's room! At that time, Alana was also gloomy with the departure of Aunt Jennika who committed suicide. Alana mourns the departure of those closest to Alana. Then, Alana finds a cure in Aunt Jennika's drawer. Alana knows that Aunt Jennika often drinks when Aunt is sad and she feels calm and right. When Alana drinks it Alana feels calm, pa"

Shinta is getting crushed to hear the words of her son, how bad is it to be a mother? Until he didn't realize what his son had been doing all this time

"Darling, why are you doing that, son? It's gonna be bad for your health,"

"Everything Alana can do ma? That's the only way Alana can be calm. Mama knows that, right? Mama never wanted to understand Alana, because she only focused on Khanza. Alana can only find peace for Alana herself,"

Shinta turned her own face away, she came out of the room. Alan was sad it turned out that such deep sorrow was endured by Alana all this time? So he used sedatives to control himself from grief

Alan hugged Alana and apologized "I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention to you,"

"It's okay Alan, it's not your fault. I can't control myself,"

Outside the room, Shinta curses herself for failing to be a mother to her children. Revan holds Shinta's shoulder "I failed. I've lost my son, and I almost lost my other child, how bad I was being a mother,"

"Already! Don't blame yourself like that! It's not your fault I'm responsible for all of this, either,"

"Why did all this happen to our child? Why is everything happening, Van? I've failed the hyx,"

Revan hugged his wife tightly "Here it is, it has all happened. There is no point in continuing to dissolve with the past, we should improve ourselves so that Alana is calmer again!"

Shinta nodded, she felt very guilty but she would fix everything.

"It's all my fault, and I'm gonna fix it,"

"Not you, but us! We're both gonna fix everything for our kids."

Shinta nodded, Revan invited his wife to return to their son's room "Let's go in, don't show your sadness, Kasian Alana who will get sadder!"

******

Inside the room, Alana was pensive. Alana used sedatives when she was a child.

When she felt sad, because her mother only thought about Khanza

Eight years ago

Alana accidentally sees a crying jennika and takes the drug "Tante, Auntie what?" Alana asked innocently, jennika turned her head towards Alana

"Honey, Aunt is taking this medicine baby. If Aunt is sad, Auntie will take this medicine, this will make Aunt more calm," even Alana saw jennika keep the medicine in her drawer

From then on, when Alana was sad she remembered what Jennika had said. He went to Jennika's room and secretly entered her friend's room without Jennika's attention he took the pill and drank it.

The incident was known to Syafa his grandmother while playing to their house. Syafa and Gunawan find out about the matter but do not tell Shinta, repeatedly they want to talk to Shinta but Shinta who is busy with Khanza never gives his parents a chance to talk.

But both of Shinta's parents always pay attention to Alana so as not to feel sad or consume it again. However, when Syafa and Gunawan died there was no one to look after Alana anymore.

Jennika also had no idea that Alana was taking her medication until the dependence had continued for the past year.

But when jennika is gone, there is not much stock of tranquilizer pills. Even the last five months Alana has not used it, so she has become weak.

Flashback!

Alana's daydream breaks as Revan holds her son's shoulder. In Alana's heart, she apologized to her mom and dad. Not that he intends to lie, but Alana is afraid that her parents are getting sadder.

In the past, Alana did not understand the medicine. But now he understood it, even as he wanted to consume it again. He could not because the drug was not carelessly sold.

Therefore Alana could not hold back her anger and sadness, she could not control herself.

"Son, shall we eat?" Shinta also feeds her child, Alana opens her mouth slowly and accepts the bribe given by her mother "Thank you ma, ma,".

"For what, baby?" Shinta asked confusedly, her eyes also looked puffy "Because mama was already willing to feed Alana. Things that Alana never got again after the presence of Khanza,"

The deg!

Shinta's heart was broken to hear it, but that was the reality. Things that he considered trivial turned out to be bad for his son Alana

"Darling, sorry mom. I promise you, you will focus on you. Now, I understand why Grandpa and Grandma Syafa asked me to pay more attention to you. Maybe that's the reason, but." Shinta was silent, both her parents died five years ago, while Alana's confession she used the tranquilizer pill a year ago. What do you mean by both parents?

Alana also looked nervous, Shinta looked into the eyes of her son "Darling, please be honest with mama son. Does Grandpa Gunawan and Grandma Syafa know all this, son?"

At first Alana was still silent, and lowered her head "What are you saying? Don't force our children, how could Mama and Papa Gunawan know that they've died in the last five years? Maybe because Alana's often sad,".Revan tried to defend his son.

But a mother's heart knows if anything is covered by her son "Alana, dear. Please answer mommy!"

Alana nodded, making the plate she had in her hand fall to the floor.

"That means," Alana nodded "Yes ma, Alana had consumed the pill long before Gunawan's grandmother and grandfather were gone. Grandpa and grandma had already forbidden even to keep an eye on Alana. But when they died, Alana drank it again. Because at that time Alana was very small ma, and Alana saw that Aunt Jennika felt calm and happy after drinking it. Alana also feels the same way, Alana is the pain and sadness Alana sees mama loves Khanza more!"

Revan hits the hospital wall, leaving Alana shocked, Alana apologizes again. Revan was not angry with his son, but he was angry with himself.

"For the sake of caring for and being a good parent for someone else's child. I sacrificed my son!" Revan is devastated, they think too much about and look after Khanza. But ignoring their own biological children, Shinta looked at her husband with sad eyes but Revan looked at her furiously

Her child's childhood has been ripped off by a drug that will destroy her child's future. Repeatedly Revan hits the wall, Alana gets off the bed "Papa, I'm sorry Alana. Alana guilty papa! Alana makes papa sad. Forgive Alana papa! Alana is sorry for the torment!" Alana hugged her papa. Even her hand on the infusion was bleeding because Alana was moving too much.

Revan was crying, he felt broken and helpless. How bad he is to be a father, he has failed to be a father to Alana

Revan looked into his son's puffy eyes, begging his son for forgiveness

"Son, I'm sorry papa. Papa is so stupid! Papa is the worst papa in the world!'" Revan beats himself up, Alana screams hysterically even Shinta and Alan stop Revan. But the man still beat himself up

"Papa, please don't!" Alana asked in a heavy tone, Revan stopped his activities. His nose was bleeding from a blow he made himself. Revan hugged his son, releasing the hug slowly

Then he held his two cheeks "Son, if time could turn papa. Maybe papa would rather papa no than have to see today son! I swear, papa does not blame you, but papa blames himself who has failed to take care of you. So stupid papa!" Revan hit his head again, the room turned rogue.

"Papa, please forgive Alana! Do not hurt yourself papa again, Alana promised not to take the medicine again! I'm sorry Alana pa!"

"If you don't drink it anymore, son. But papa has failed, papa failed!" Revan's voice was very heavy, Shinta approached her husband with trembling hands

"Don't touch me!" Shouted Revan to Shinta, Shinta was shocked by her husband's screams. But this is his fault and he will accept it all.