Mother Connect

Before It's Too Late

Revan looked at his wife without saying anything. Shinta also looked into her husband's eyes with a regretful cry.

"Alana, are you, son? You drink first let it calm down!"

Revan gave a glass of water near Alana's room table, indeed every room is available water.

Alana sipped little by little the white water given by her father

"Alana you don't cry son! You need to calm down!"

"Alana has calmed down, pa," now her feelings are much better, having expressed all her pain

"I'm sorry if Alana's words are insolent, Alana is selfish, and Alana just wants to reveal everything that Alana has been quiet for the past ten years,"

"Alana, baby. Sorry mom, son? Mama never wanted to lose you guys,"

Alana looked at her mother with sad eyes "But she lost Alana a long time ago!"

Alana immediately got up, she ran out of the room. Shinta wants to catch up, but is prevented by Revan "Let her calm down now! If you go after her, she'll feel uncomfortable."

Shinta cried "I failed to be a mother,"

"That's what I've been saying to you, but you didn't hear me and say that our children are good children, and I'm sure. Not only Alana felt that, but also Alan Syifa. Since Khanza's presence you've only focused on him!"

"I just want to keep the trust from Caca. I'm afraid of failure, like looking after our son Al,"

"But the truth is, you lost your own surviving child. I know, Shinta. Al's departure is not an easy one for you, not just you. Me too! Especially after Mom and Dad are gone. You're getting hurt, but not only are you feeling lost, me and the kids are losing them too. But when will it be? You focus on Khanza, and it makes the kids feel less affectionate!"

Shinta was speechless, the departure of the child and his parents made him very fragile.

"I don't blame you, baby! But if this is the case, what else? It all happened and time could not be turned back. But, while there is still time, you can fix everything. We can fix everything, but I beg you. You should be able to forget your sorrow and let go of Khanza. The Khanza belongs to Caca and Arvan. If it's Syifa, she's my son and I still have the right to take her to live with us, whereas Khanza? I can't do anything, I love him too but I realize he's not ours. He's only been tucked away for a while, and you've been so immersed in these ten years!"

******

Alana was sitting in the backyard, she pondered. His grandparents were still there. He could have poured everything into them, but five years ago. Grandparents and grandmothers of his mother have been called by the almighty. While his grandfather and grandmother from the papa, went abroad for their coronation.

"It's chocolate!"

Alan offered two different chocolates to his twin, Alana immediately wiped away the tears "No thanks!"

"Huf! You refused your twin brother's hand, I'm so sad!"

Alan pretended to be moody, Alana turned her head towards Alan who was pouting "Here!"

Finally Alana received two chocolates from her twin sister "Said what?" Alan interrupted him "Thank you!"

Alan rubbed Alana's hair gently "Well, you look ugly if you cry!"

"I'm ugly!"

"Haha, you admit it!" Alan chuckled with his sister. Alana stared at Alan, "And you're the one who said I'm ugly, and the one who's beautiful is just Khanza!"

Alan was speechless, he saw his sister's nose flushed like a clown "But, you're so pretty this way. Like clowns!" Alan cooed Alana's nose "Alan!" Alana scolded her twin sister in annoyance and was full of spoiled.

"It's eating!" Alan told his sister to eat the chocolate, Alana also ate the chocolate. Now Alan was a little relieved, because his sister felt calmer

"Alan, why are you good at giving me chocolates?"

Alana nodded, not replying to her twin brother. He finished his chocolates quickly "Really, my heart is calm!"

Alana suddenly said that, but she fell silent. Although Alana is so hard and very selfish, she does not easily tell her grief to people. Especially to the family unless his heart was already so sick and disappointed.

"Why are you sad?"

"No! I'm not sad, I just want to be calm!"

Alan nodded, unwilling to force Alana to tell a story that would make Alana even sadder.

"Alan, have you ever been disappointed?"

Alan nodded "Often, yet I never revealed it. And what you feel, I feel that too. But sometimes, I don't think about myself, I think about other people's happiness and sacrifice my feelings!"

"Then do you think I'm selfish?"

Alana asks her twin sister "Maybe, but everyone is different. And the feelings of women and men are different. Women tend to be more sensitive like you, because you women use the heart. Men, however, think more about logic. And we don't want to express our feelings!"

"Why is that? Why can't it?"

"No idea, but for sure we men are much different like women who always cry. Which is always explosive in expressing the feelings of the heart,"

"Have you heard my conversation with mom and dad?"

Alan nodded, Alana was silent "Yes, maybe I'm the selfish one. I always think of myself,"

Alana feels guilty. But is revealing the heart wrong?

"No! You are innocent! You're not selfish, it's a heart expression you've been damning all along. It's now a time bomb that's going off!"

Alan hugged his sister, he kissed her twin brother's forehead "I'm sorry Alana, I don't think about your feelings. I should have understood you, but I didn't! I always blame you, I consider you my most selfish sister without me knowing, if you keep a lot of wounds that you always sniff."

Alana again sobbed, Alan hugged his twin brother tightly.

"If I could Alan, I'd change everything. Even if it's impossible even if I want to take you through the time machine. I'll take you, fix everything. Accompany in your lonely times, your wounds."

"You know? Since Syafa's grandmother and Gunawan's grandfather have been gone. I feel alone, because only they understand me. Grandma Syafa always understood me, but in fact? They're gone for good, and I'm probably destined to be alone,"

"No Alana! Don't say that! I'm there for you!" Alana keeps her head away from Alan

"Not really, Alan! You're not there for me. You only exist for Khanza and mama, you are not there for me. You know Alan? Our family is whole but not perfect. I felt like I had no one, I was alone. I'm lonely,"

"Please don't say it's Alana! Forgive us all, we love you, and we never want to lose you!"

"But you lost me, and I lost you. My presence is just the wind that is not considered, I am just the troublemaker! I'm a troublemaker in this family, I'm a troublemaker. I'm the most selfish here, I can't understand you. And vice versa!"

As soon as Alana said that, Alan felt sliced by her sister's words..

So hurt and suffering is Alana? And so wickedly did they ignore Alana that she thought herself to be meaningless?

Shinta and Revan listen to the conversation of their two children, Shinta feels increasingly guilty. But Revan said there was no point in continuing to dissolve in grief.

"We may not be able to change time, but we can fix everything before it's too late!"