IN THE CAGE

66. FEAR OF LOSING

...ACE pov's...

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"I've said this first, but I'll bring it back." Margot said as she sat herself on the sofa. His long black hair that was draped like a curtain, swung elegantly following his movements. "We should have killed Indira from the start. He is very useless and dangerous. Look, because of his marriage to Evan, we're now in a position of equal footing with those immoral bastards."

"You can't just kill, Mar." Uncle Jack advised his eldest nephew - but to be honest, I could feel he regretted not following Margot's words back then.

Eliminating Indira is not difficult. I could have done it - both then and now. But I don't want to rush. Even Indira's marriage to Evan, although there are many regrets from uncle and Margot, I have no regrets at all. I have no regrets because thanks to their marriage - I was reunited with Fawn.

Although the beginning of our meeting was very messy, I will not deny anything now. That, Fawnia Alder has filled the most important position in my life. I don't know how he could have drawn all my attention, made my defense collapse.

I mean, just look at her.., she's just an ordinary girl with an adorable smile. She is not a confident girl, she is not loud and dominant, but not weak and innocent to the point that you want to protect her. She just.., herself.

I don't understand myself. What drew her from that girl until my heart melted to her?

I don't want to name my feelings for her by a label that I myself know is what. I am afraid because for me, love is a weakness that will defeat me.

"Fawnia.., I just want her to be mine. Living for me. Whether what I feel now is greed, you might be able to say it like that. I won't share it. So please, live in peace and forget your son."

In the hospital room where the window curtain was open, I whispered to a woman who was sleeping on the iron bed. She was Lilian Alder, a woman who was able to snatch Fawn away from me at any time. A weakness and a threat I cannot get rid of. Because getting rid of him means getting rid of Fawn.

I don't want to share Fawn with this woman, for God's sake. But Fawn wasn't mine from the start. No matter how much I want it, claiming it to be mine, that pair of deer eyes will continue to run towards the blue sky. In the direction of freedom that means not me.

"Boss Ace, Mr. Jack called you." Rio-a bodyguard I'm assigned to watch over Fawn's mother-get into the room.

Thanks to my strong connection, I was able to infiltrate this room without a guard from the Anggara side knowing. Not surprisingly, they are just as stupid as Anggara.

"I'll go now." I muttered, not to Rio who was waiting-but to Fawn's mother who was lying weakly there.

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I met Jack's uncle and discussed work matters and matters concerning the leader at Hearts. That, now there is a civil war in Emery's residence. Thanks to Jeremy who just came home, he came and immediately put a sword on the throne of Jemaine that would waver sooner or later.

Maybe it was because of their dispute that I never heard from Jem lately. Usually he would come up to me and nag this. Jem's smart, to be honest. But Jeremy is definitely stronger than him in intelligence. I wonder who will come out alive from that fight. Is that Jem or Jeremy?

"You're back?" just as I entered the room, Fawn greeted me first. I'm used to her being to the stage I'm not surprised at all when she appears suddenly in front of me.

"Mm.., I'm done today." I walked up to him who was sitting on the lip of the bed. Her hair was wet and the towel around her shoulders let me know that she had just finished her bath.

"You should be waiting for me" I said. I would have loved to have taken a shower with Fawn, but the opportunity never came because she always avoided me. He was so afraid of physical contact that he would go to bed early so I wouldn't have time to do anything to him.

You're a bitch, but I forgive him because he's funny.

"Do you have any good things to say other than disgusting things?"

"Some, I'm gonna eat you." I went back to provoking him until the deer's eyes squeaked.

"You're annoying."

Despite being annoyed by my attitude, Fawn did not give a rejection when I cupped her cheek in my hand. Feeling her soft cheeks at the end of my fingers made me feel like my entire burden was lifted. He is the cure of all my life, the home for me to go home to.

"Have you eaten?"

"Mm..," Fawn nodded.

"So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Main with Butter."

I kissed his eyelids. "Don't play with her, just accompany me."

"Your company usually involves something perverted so it's not." Fawn caught my wrist, she seemed to have gotten tired of my hand that kept wiping her face. But I'm not bored at all. I love to touch Fawn's delicate cheeks, love to pinch her, love to make her face into various expressions.

"I'm not gonna ask you to do something perverted, just calm down." I lowered my grip on his face, went down and fell on his shoulder. I pressed him until he was lying on the bed. I lay down beside him.

Ughhh!!! Fawn grimacing.

"The company I rest with" I said, then clasped his hand which was by my side. Our fingers are one-linked.

Fawn took a quick glance at me before sniffing her shoulders. "You alone?"

I thought of a way to keep you permanently by my side. "I'm thinking about what you're thinking."

"What kind of answer is that" Fawn complained.

"So, what are you thinking?"

"Why are you curious?" Fawn turned her head this time and looked at me in wonder. I turned my face and faced him.

"What is so secret...?"

"Well, not really." Fawn's cheek blushed. Eye contact was difficult for him. "I just.., think of my mom."

"..." I felt like I was hit in the stomach.

"I worry about it every day. Does he eat regularly? Regular break? What the hell is he doing? I'm thinking about things like that., you know."

"Hnn, you're a good boy, aren't you?"

"I think it's a natural thing for a child who is far from his parents to think about." Fawn looked back at the ceiling. I wasn't. I just stayed there, staring at him who was back languishing.

"You're different, Fawn." I don't even worry about my parents like him. I know dozens of people who do not feel the anxiety he feels, I know a child who is willing to commit crimes on his parents for profit. I only knew a Fawn who devoted herself and her life to her mother.

"Different, don't tell me you're gonna call me a moron again."

I chuckle. "No, you're very unique."

"If it's from your mouth I doubt it. You just insult me all the time." Fawn nagging.

I laughed again and Fawn also laughed faintly next to me. This girl, even at the hardest time, can still laugh. He still accepts me by his side despite all the evil and evil things I've ever given him. She should have been frightened, looking at me with hatred and wrath, she should have still cursed me like she used to. Like when we hated each other.

But just as he changed, I changed too. I don't know what to do with this change. I want to make it mine, hold it to my chest.

But, for all the evil that I have done to her, all the humiliation and torment that I have given her?

Even though she softened on me, would she settle by my side if the bracelet wasn't on her leg, shackling her?

I hope he stays.

But I know it's a wasted hope.

"Fawnia, though,"

"Yes..."

"Think of me once in a while."

"Why?"

"I don't like you thinking about other people."

"That guy's my mom, goddamn it."

I don't give a shit. "Even if it's your mother."

Thinking about people who are far from you only makes you tormented. Your desire to leave will grow as well. I don't want that.

Geck! Geck! Geck!

"Boss Ace..," Carcel's voice made me sigh deeply. Especially want?

"What's wrong?" I took my grip off Fawn's hand and headed for the door. Carcel whispered to me, relaying unimportant information at all-at least, no more important than what Fawn and I were doing just now.

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