For Me And Him

35

Virgo POV.

Tamy clasped my fingers tightly, feeling his hands that began to sweat coldly.

His eyes kept staring into the room he was about to enter.

There was anxiety drawn from the look on his face. I know, he's trying to hide his taste from me.

"Tamy," call me soft.

Tamy looked at me. His lips smiled widely.

"Eh .. There is leftover food on the corner of your lips," said Tamy while taking the remaining food attached.

"It's this big, but eating is still a blow. You are this," he softly continued.

Tamy smiled again, his eyes were shifted to the door of the room that he had been staring at continuously.

Though his fingers were shaking, but he tried to show that he was still fine.

'Basin Tamy, even this is how you are still trying to cover.'

A little girl came out of the room. Tamy's eyes continued to pay attention to the little girl who was already unconscious.

His hands were getting cold, I had no idea how scared he was. But from the look in his eyes, he was not ready to go in there.

"Tamey."

"Huh" he answered quickly.

"Why you?" tanyaku.

Tamy smiled again and dropped his head on my shoulders.

"I'm okay, just tired of waiting. Father for a long time," he replied gently.

"You ... aren't ready for kheimotherapy yet?" askaku.

"Do I have a choice? This is the only way, Virgo. Ready or not, Dad knows better than I do" he replied limply.

I let go of her smile and clasped her fingers tighter.

"Spirit!" my words are encouraging.

Tamy stared at me, smiling back and shaking his head.

The girl's smile was too difficult to distinguish. Sometimes he smiles when he is sick, sometimes he smiles when he is sad.

I don't know how many flavors he hid in his smile. I didn't know it before, but now I realize that the real expression is when he is angry.

***

I've been waiting for Tamy here for a while. But the signs of the girl coming out are also not there yet.

I took a few breaths, walking towards the window. Look at the life that is seen down there.

Sometimes these hospitals look very lively and soothing. Sometimes it also looks very gloomy and scary.

I was scared when Tamy had to come back here. I was scared when I saw Tamy fall asleep in this hospital ward. But I'm also happy when I think of Tamy's condition that could improve if he continues to be treated here.

"Geek!" Tamy ran from inside his room and headed straight for the bathroom.

I followed his steps and saw him sitting in front of the toilet. Spewed out all the contents in his stomach.

I felt a clap of a hand on my shoulder. I turned my eyes and looked at Leo who was smiling softly at me.

"It's a reaction after Tamy's done his chemistry, don't worry too much. Tamy will be fine soon" said Om Leo reassuringly.

I smiled and nodded my head, I don't know. Right now I don't believe the word is okay.

I was too afraid to believe it, because behind that word. There will always be a disaster approaching us.

I followed Tamy who was still on the bathroom floor. Give him a box of tissues.

Tamy turned his face away, he grabbed the tissue and immediately stood up straight.

Removing her lips as well as her two watery eyes due to pain while running the kheimo, perhaps.

"Virgo, I'm fine" Tamy said with a bitter smile.

Who's gonna believe it? You're fine as your face continues to turn pale.

You smile so widely, but your eyes don't stop watering. Even the food you spewed out continues to this day.

I swallowed my saliva which was increasingly bitter, I elus Tamy's shoulder which again spewed out the contents in his stomach.

"Tamey." I pulled both of Tamy's shoulders and made him face me.

"Drink this," I said, pouring mineral water into his mouth.

Tamy smiled again and wiped the corner of his lips.

"Thank you, Virgo," he said, smiling softly.

"Tamy, when will you be? How long do you want to show that you're okay? Don't smile again, Tamy. Don't smile with a face like that" I said bitterly.

Tamy pulled the tissue and rubbed the corner of his eye. He smiled again as I kept staring at his face.

"Tamey." I hug Tany's tiny body that's getting this under control.

"Never say you're still okay. I know you're not okay. I know you're hurt, I know, I know, Tamy. Don't hide it anymore, Tamy. Please be honest with me this time" I asked as I held back the puddles from both my eyes.

"I'm fine, Virgo. This isn't the first time I've had kheimo. Don't worry too much." Tamy broke my embrace and gently patted my arm.

"Tamy, don't be held back, honey. Tell me if it makes you tired. Cry if it hurts. Don't be afraid, I'm always listening. Complain to me, Tamy. Cry if you want to cry. Don't keep everything to yourself anymore, don't say you're fine and keep smiling fake, trying hard in front of me and swallowing everything yourself. I will not leave you, I will not pity you. You just need to know that I exist, just because I love you so much."

For a moment Tamy was silent, he squeezed both fingers. Staring at my face with the water trajectory of both eyes.

Tamy pulled my body, buried his face in my chest. Her tiny body began to tremble, slowly her sobs became increasingly firmer.

"Virgo I can't stand it, I'm in pain. I'm suffering, Virgo. I don't want kheimo, kheimo making my hair fall out. Kheimo made my body weak. I'm afraid of the kheimo room, Virgo. I was terrified even when I hadn't entered it. Virgo I'm scared, I'm so scared" said Tamy.

I exhaled and tried to hold the sting that felt so tight stuck inside my chest. Withstanding the puddles from both my eyes which makes the view even more blurry.

"Say, Tamy. Tell me everything you want to say. Don't take it anymore, you can complain whatever it is to me."

"Virgo accompany me, I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid of myself, I don't want to be left alone anymore. Virgo I can't stand it, I'm not strong. I'm not holding everything back, Virgo. I'm tired, I'm so tired." Tamy tightened his cries

"Why? Why are you just now beside me? Where you been? Where were you when I was alone? Why me alone? Virgo, why did you leave me alone?"

"Sorry, Tamy. I'm sorry."

I held Tamy's body tightly together, which continued to vibrate strongly. Closing my eyelids and shedding a puddle of water that I was trying to hold back.

"Virgo don't go again, don't stay with me anymore. I'm weak, hang with me, Virgo. Because if there's no you, I'm confused, I don't know, I'm scared. Because I can't hold it myself."

"I won't leave you alone, Tamy. I pledge. Hold on, hold on a little more. Because I will definitely be holding him with you. Don't be afraid, you'll never be alone. I promise you, I will never leave you alone. I'll take whatever it is with you." I kissed Tamy's head and tightened my arms.

Letting Tamy put all the weight of her heart in my arms.

I'll take all your complaints, Tamy. Although I was actually very sick when I heard you were in so much pain with all this.

I know you're suffering, but I'm powerless. Other than promising to stay by your side, I can't promise anything more.

If I can take all your suffering, then let me bear it all for you.

Because when I can only see you like this. My feelings are more agonizing, because I can't do anything to ease your suffering.

I don't want to lose you either, but hope you survive I can't afford.

I don't know how much pain you're enduring, which ends up being my deepest regret, because I'm helpless against anything for you.

'Forgive me, Tamy. Sorry dear, because I can only say endure, without wanting to feel what suffering is.'

Tamy still goes into his sobs. Remove all the burdens that he has been trying to withstand.

"I'm guilty of you, Tamy. I'm sorry I never asked you what you're going through right now. I'm sorry, honey," I said softly.

Tamy was no longer able to answer, his body continued to tremble due to the increasingly deep cries.

I don't know Tamy, I don't know why I'm so special in your heart. Until the reason you endure all this suffering is me.

If I had known this sooner, if we had been more open than Tamy was. Will you suffer as you do now?

I feel really bad, Tamy. Bad for always being lulled by the words, 'I'm fine' that always come out of your lips.