For Me And Him

14

"Virgo I ...." I looked back at Virgo's face that looked so sad.

"I what?" Ask Virgo gently.

I push Virgo's body and turn away from Virgo.

"Let's go ahead, I'm afraid it's too late."

"Tamy, wait a minute," pull Virgo back.

Virgo put my body back on the side of the wall. Put me in his hand cage again.

"Is it so hard to just say love to me?" Ask Virgo gently.

"Virgo I beg you not to do this, why did you become like this?" Many fear.

Virgo sighed and let go of his embrace.

"Alright, let's go" said Virgo relented.

Along the way to school, Virgo is silent and does not talk much. Even Virgo didn't say anything when he took me to class.

"Virgo I ...."

Virgo immediately walked out of my class quickly.

I breathed a little heavily and entered the classroom. I know Virgo just wants me to say that word, I love him too. But I'm afraid, I'm afraid Virgo will be disappointed in me someday.

***

I walked down the school corridor to grade 12 ipa when the first break bell rang. I also don't want it to go on like this, I know Virgo was waiting for me all this time to say it on my own terms.

But I was afraid, I was too afraid to fall too deep. I'm afraid, if later I can't get Virgo out of my heart.

"Sister," called me to Brother Donny who was sitting relaxed in his gym uniform.

"Eh, Tammy. Tumben here?"

"Virgo exists?" Tanyaku.

"Virgo, emh Virgo. Looks like it's still in the dressing room."

"Hmm, yasudah."

"You didn't drive Virgo into the locker room?"

"Eh, no need. Where could I go there, you guys," I said a little embarrassed.

"It's not coming in, but try to wait outside. Maybe Virgo's first break isn't going to the cafeteria."

"Why?"

"Virgo's mood has been deteriorating lately. Sports alone, less fun."

"Hem." I play my lips and nod.

Is it because of me? Virgo is so. He usually has no problem either.

I set foot into the locker room, patiently waiting at the door of the dressing room. There have been some people who have come out, but Virgo is still not out.

Two minutes, three minutes, five minutes. Virgo is not out yet. If I wait too long, I won't be able to eat at the first break.

I pulled out my phone and tried to call Virgo's number. The Virgo mobile number is still inactive.

"Eh, Brother." Hold me to someone who just came out of the locker room.

"Why?"

"Virgo still inside?"

"Still, it might be a while. He's talking about it."

"Ehm, that is," I said a little disappointed. "Thank you, brother."

I breathed and looked back at the door of the dressing room. Maybe I can't talk to Virgo right now.

I turned my back and put my phone in a shirt bag. Walk slowly away from the dressing room.

Once again, I turned my face towards the locker room door. Stare at him for a moment, then continue in my footsteps.

Virgo, are you still mad at me?

I'm sorry Virgo, but I don't intend to hide my feelings for you.

This whole day, Virgo was like playing hide-and-seek with me.  Twice I searched for him, but he still avoided me.

I wish I could say it easily Virgo. I'd say, if I really liked you.

But what should I do? I have to hold this feeling. I had to endure all the growing flavors so as not to get more fertile.

I can't explain, nor can I say. All of this has confused me. If all is well, if all is the same as before.

Then I will say it out loud, I will scream as loud as possible. I will show the world that I am in love with you.

I let my breath go back and removed the corner of my eye that had runny.

I stopped an ojek and went back to see Dad in the hospital. When I feel like this, it's just Dad where I'm back.

I tap Dad's room and open it quickly.

"Father, Assalamualaikum" I said as I opened my door to Dad's room.

"Greetings waalaikum, Tamy. I'm checking in, can you wait outside for a minute."

"Oh, alright," I replied in defeat.

I closed Dad's door and walked without direction. I entered the green fields, the hospital garden. Just releasing the burden of the heart that feels heavy at this time.

I closed both my eyelids, enjoying the touch of the afternoon breeze that felt very cool on my skin.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Trying to comfort myself and also my heart that is in turmoil.

"At the mess, huh?" Ask someone gently.

I opened my eyes and saw who was sitting next to me.

"Why can you be here?" I asked confused, every hospital I must have met with this irritant talk.

"It's a public place, why can't I come here? is it because this hospital belongs to your father?"

"That's not it, I mean, brother why are you here so often. Yes ... Although this is a public place, but this is not a tourist place that can be visited every day."

"If I want to travel here, someone is forbidden?"

"Whatever," I said lazily.

Sister Riyu let go of her smile and shook her head. Yes ... Although in saying sister Riyu is quite tempting, but the cold character is quite problematic.

Very stiff when spoken to, like people who want to talk, but lazy also mengeluarin voice.

"Why do you like it here?" Ask sister Riyu gently.

"This is my father's hospital, I like to come here or where," I replied annoyed.

I pursed my lips and crossed my hands on my chest.

Sister Riyu again laughed broadly at my answer.

"All right, I told ya first. My mother is treated here."

I turned my face, looking at Brother Riyu whose face was now turning into a mellow one.

"Oh, Mother. I think sister Riyu is being treated."

"Me?" Ask sister Riyu by twitching her forehead.

"Yes, I think sister Riyu is being treated for an illness in ...." I hung up the sentence and glanced at Sister Riyu.

"Where?" Ask sister Riyu by folding both her hands on her chest.

"In soul. Ha ha ha." I let go of my laughter as hard as I wanted.

Seductive men with this irony is indeed very fun.

Sister Riyu smiled again and shook her head. My eyes were looking at me with a slightly different twinkle.

Sister Riyu touched the tip of my head and gently stroked it.

"Basic nosy," said sister Riyu softly.

I looked down and looked down. Sis Riyu's attitude this time, why is it a little different?

"Tamey." Call someone soft.

I turned my face towards the sound it was coming from, as soon as my eyes were round when I saw it next to me.