For Me And Him

28

I bowed my head when I found out sister Riyu's question.

"Not everyone is sorry for the situation of others, Tamy. For example I, from the beginning I knew you were struggling, not pitying, but I was very impressed with you" said sister Riyu softly.

I turned my gaze, looking at Brother Riyu who was currently sitting next to me.

"I used to see my mother moaning and complaining when her illness came. Sometimes I can barely hold on, if I see it that way. I thought you and the Sahara would be the same, but who would have thought, you guys are stronger than people who are more mature than you." Sister Riyu sighed and stroked the bald head of the Sahara.

"In this world don't just look from your perspective, Tamy. You can see other people like that, but not necessarily other people see you like that."

I looked back and sighed. I know what Ryu's words mean, but I'm too scared, afraid that all I think is the truth.

"Do you also think Virgo will pity you?" Ask sister Riyu back.

I nodded my head and played my feet on the grass.

"Don't be so naive, Tamy. That Virgo won't pity you at all. He only loves you" said sister Riyu softly.

"But what if what I think is the truth, brother? I hate being treated so badly and being considered weak."

"It all depends on you, I'm just explaining. Not forcing you to believe it, you're a stubborn woman, who might be able to melt with just words."

Sister Riyu got up from her chair and walked away.

"Tamy," call sister Riyu softly.

"Yes,"

"If Virgo doesn't want to come back, don't be afraid. You can count on me and run to my side. You will never be alone" said Sister Riyu with a gentle smile.

I was speechless, still digesting Sister Riyu's words. Meanin?

I shook my head and looked back blankly. I breathe fresh air in this park.

"Sir Tamy!" The boisterous sounds of children came closer.

I let go of my smile when I saw cancer children coming near me.

"Sir Tamy's in?" Ask Zoel, the boy with a brain tumor who is always attached to me.

"Yes, brother inpatient," I replied softly.

"Gee ... Said Leo I'll also stay, later we stay together yes,"

"All right."

"Tamy's hair is getting prettier, I like it," now one of the little girls who's bald before the Sahara, gently stroking my blonde hair.

"Later if your hair has grown, you can color it like me. Don't be sad, yeah," I said cheeringly.

"Will Tamy's hair fall out like ours?" Ask back.

I don't know why hearing this girl's words stopped my breath. For a moment I forgot, that I too would just wait for the time to become like them.

I smiled stiffly and shook my head.

"I don't think so, Brother hurts in the heart, not in the head" I replied gently.

"But kheimo will make your hair fall out" continued Sahara.

I went back into silence and took my breath which continued to feel very heavy. I tried to hold the puddle of water that had wanted to go down earlier.

"Yes, kheimo will make you bald, huh?" I smiled stiffly and nodded my head.

"But Brother, don't be sad, even if you don't have hair. Make Zoel, Tamy's most beautiful sister." Zoel wrapped his tiny hand around my neck.

I pull snot that almost came out, why does it feel so tight?

Why it hurts so much, Dad I'm afraid, I'm afraid to leave you alone.

Dad, if I go later, who will look after and accompany you?

Father ... Father ... I should how?

***

I grabbed Dad's hand that was stroking my hair and I put it on my cheek.

"Dad," call me soft.

"Yes, honey."

"When will you bring your new mom home?"

He smiled and shook his head.

"If you want to, you're the one who brought your son-in-law home, how about it?"

I let go of my bitter smile and changed my position to sitting on the bed.

I took a strand of my blonde hair and looked at it. I don't know when, I can take care of this hair?

"What are you left with, honey?" Ask the father who took my hair.

"Dad, before I fell out of my hair because of kheimo, how about Dad cut my hair first?" Bitter too.

Dad sighed and held back his tears. Dad smiled and stroked my head.

"Are you not dear? do you like your hair?"

"Because I like my hair, I want Dad to cut it before it falls out and gets damaged."

"If so, we go to the yuk salon," asked Dad gently.

"When you go to Daddy's salon? just cut it. Here you can too," I replied gently.

I walk in front of the glass, and sit in front of the glass. Comb my long hair and also my blonde before cutting it.

I handed him a pair of scissors in the hand of my father, who was standing behind me.

"Are you sure, Tamy?" Ask Daddy softly.

I saw my reflection from the glass, I grabbed a strand of my blonde hair and stroked it gently.

"Let's start, Dad," I asked gently.

Dad combed my hair back, tidied up the strands before cutting them to shorter lengths.

I noticed one by one my hair falling off, from the reflection of the glass.

I closed my eyes, letting my tears fall along with my blonde hair.

In the end, something I always take care of, I have to let go one by one.

I felt Father's hands begin to tremble when I had to cut the rest of my hair. I saw the face of Dad who was so tormented when he had to cut his daughter's favorite hair.

Dad dropped his scissors and put his chin on top of my head. Dad hugged my shoulders tightly, his body started to shake, dropping one by one his tears.

"Tamy, frankly I can't. I can't do it, son," said the estranged father.

I held my palms in front of my mouth. I can't do it either, Dad, I can't. But what should I do?

I turned my back and hugged my big body. For a moment, the two of us entered into each other's grief.

Dad, I'm sorry. Sorry if I can't wait any longer.

I can't stand it if I have to hold on much longer. Because I know, that the heart graft that you've been trying to do for a few years is never ending.

It will only be empty hopes that are more painful every day.

Because, the longer. I want to live longer. The more people I meet, the more greedy I become. I want to live longer and live longer.

But I'm helpless Dad, because it's getting longer. The pain I felt was getting worse. I can only give up, surrender to this situation.

I can only hope, after I leave later. Dad's gonna be fine.

Dad should be fine....