First Love "In April"

BURYING FEELINGS

When I got home, I laid my body on the bed and I looked at the bag hanger that Raidil had given me.

" you're still there" I said as I stared at the bag hangers I had on my desk.

the statement of Raidil this afternoon continues to ring in my ears "ahh my first love failed" my ringis sad.

I covered my face with my hands trying to accept the reality that I was experiencing. Until the eve of the night I did not go out the room lamenting myself who was trying to be aware of the dream, I was trying to get away from the dream,

" let's go Rii" the more I strengthen my heart to forget, the stronger the shadow of Raidil is sticky on my head,

" know ahh" my ringis irritated.

"Rii. let's go out, eat first" while knocking on your door, Mom called me.

"Yes ma'am" heavily I was forced to wake up carrying my lethargic body as if all my energy was absorbed by my turmoil, and not only that even all my joints were in great pain.

"is your face pale? are you sick, Ri?" ask the father who has been watching me.

" no Dad, Riri is fine" I said as I chewed my food.

"ahh come on. Why does it taste bland" I said in my heart while looking at my food on the plate.

"What do not-don't run out of boyfriend" led Mother with a thin smile.

" ah no ma'am, Riri is not dating" I said seriously.

"lagian boro-boro has a girlfriend, before it was revealed that she had been rejected" said my heart.

I bowed my head because I felt ashamed of myself.

"why should Ri really be upset can find another one" I thought.

"Riri lase ya ma'am" I said to Mom and Dad who are still crappy eating dinner.

"lhoh.k dikit Ri eat her" asked Dad briefly.

" Riri is full already" I said as I passed to my room carrying my empty body.

"ahh feel the weight of my legs step, what a feeling of heartbreak, if you know rich gini it feels like I don't want to fall in love" said I in my heart.

The sound of rain from outside filled my room, as if they knew I was feeling sadness.

The night was getting late, the rain never stopped and my eyes never closed, the more late at night The more I drifted with my thoughts about Raidil.

thinking of how I could like her and what I liked about her. Her broad shoulders, her sharp nose, her red lips blushing, her hair light when blown, her hair light when blown, her, her smile was sweet and, in the moment I thought about it all without me noticing my tears just fell down.

"where can I find the same as Raidil".

"ahh don't cry Rii, really geeky" while I sweep my tears that fall even though it feels useless because it constantly falls wet the cheeks.

***

The next morning I tried to get out of my bed, silent for a moment while glancing at the keychain of Raidil.

" okay Rii, you have to keep up the spirit, don't let you down just because of your unfortunate love story" with all my might I tried to rise from my sadness all night.

"you'll be fine, sooner or later you'll get used to it" I added cheering myself on.

When I got to the front door of the school, I stepped firmly toward the classroom door, but before that happened, someone patted me on the shoulder from behind,

" just came also Ri" he said with a smile.

"huh.. Raidil, why at a time like this anyway" I grumbled in my heart.

"i'm trying to accept reality but why...?" Add me to my heart with my head and face that I gently smashed against the wall of the gate for feeling hopeless.

"why.why..why" I said slowly over and over again.

"Rii, what's wrong with you?" I heard Raidil's voice ask.

" a.a. that's okay" I said with a shocked face while smiling stiffly.

" why is he still here anyway? Most of the time he also carries a motorbike "ask me in the heart.

Walking Me to the classroom door and Raidil behind me, I tried not to look at him because I knew, I had to try to bury my feelings.

you must know how heavy I feel right now, when trying to escape but the person we want to forget likes to come suddenly and as he pleases.

Once I was in class I saw Della in her chair.

" uh Rii why are your eyes so richly swollen" asked Della in surprise.

" no cry, huh?" Added her.

"no, I'm just staying up late and can't sleep" I replied, laying my head on the table.

" tumben" with wonder Della looked at me.

I pulled my face towards the Raidil bench to avoid Della's gaze which seemed to have many questions, and accidentally returned once again my gaze and Raidil met.

" You're sick Rii" she asked with a worried face, but I don't know maybe it's just my feeling.

"since when have you asked so many questions about Dil" I said in my heart.

I shake my head to answer her questions, and I cover my face with my arms on the table" Arghh, please " again my heart ringis who began to feel pain when I remembered that Raidil already had a lover.

"it hurts so much, it's not okay yet" my grumbling in my heart with my face still covered in my two arms,

and strangely at a time like this I even remembered my attitude towards Irfan at that time,

"does he also feel the same pain as what I think, if so, am I not outrageous" I said filled with regret.

" should have been at that time I could have rejected it well" I added.

then it flashed again in my mind, maybe this was a reply to my attitude at that time to Irfan.

" but I just didn't answer it" I said loudly by directly waking up from my position.

until some of the others in the class noticed me in surprise.

"Ri." said Della with a surprised face while holding my shoulder.

I could only smile stiffly looking at Della,

and at the same time Raidil was staring with the same gaze as Della.

I bowed my head back to the starting position, covered in two arms.

" it's stupid of you to be squared anyway Rii" I said in my heart while enduring the overwhelming embarrassment.