First Love "In April"

FADES

"Riii".

"Riri baby, wake up son".

A soft voice rang out in my ears, I blinked my eyes trying to see the shadow of who called me,

"Mother"

I stared trying to remember what happened,

a gentle face with a beautiful smile, decorating the face of Mother who kept caressing my hair.

"Riri was a nightmare" said I who woke up and immediately hugged his body.

"what's the nightmare, son?" asked Dad who suddenly came in and sat down beside me.

" Riri's dream" I said pensively thinking about whether I should tell her that dream.

" not so deh" I said with still hugging Mom's body that felt a little cold.

"yuk we eat first "take Dad.

Mother clasped her hands and pulled me gently following her steps.

"eat a lot dear" said Dad who sat right next to me as well as Mom.

"don't you eat?" I asked, because there was only one plate on the table.

"Where's zira ma'am?" my eyes looked around looking for the whereabouts of my beautiful sister Zira.

"Zira went to bed first" said Dad staring at me with a soft heart.

" Daughter" mother thrust a small mouthful into my mouth which I greeted with a look of wonder.

"Dad, Mother why?" I said as I clasped the same hands of both of them feeling cold.

"it's okay, son, eat again" said the mother who continued to give me bribes with a warm smile.

While Dad kept holding my hand and stroking my hair.

"thank you for being a good boy all this time" said Dad with his hand still stroking my hair.

" What's going on, Dad?" I asked curious about the attitude of Father and Mother that was quite strange from earlier.

they just stared at me heartily without answering anything, hugs tightly coiled around my body, mother peeping at my forehead as if there would be a separation between us,

"Tetep be a good and responsible child, baby" said the mother.

"Take care of yourself, live everything strong, don't lose your sweet smile, son" added Dad, making my tears fill my eyes.

Without answering, I tried to digest what they meant .

The hug tightened when Dad also kissed the tip of my head.

"sorry Daddy's the same mother who has to leave you alone".

Deg

My father's words made me turn my eyes in surprise, my daughter was racing fast and a little sick.

" Where are you going?" ask me with tears no longer held back.

I cried in the arms of those who began to loosen.

"mom answered, where are you going?" I tightly hugged their bodies that were loosening their arms as if they were leaving me.

" no, you're not going anywhere" I said with more tears rolling down my cheeks.

Without a sound, Mom and Dad looked at me with tearful eyes.

" Dear, don't be naughty, live your life well, son, we'll always be with you" she said, making me even more afraid.

" where are you going?"

"take riri, don't leave riri"

"Riri is afraid of mom".

a voice that trembled with a hiccup I tried to plead with their hands that still felt cold.

The look you gave me added to the pain I felt from not understanding what situation I was in.

If this was a dream I really wanted to wake up. Because this is really all the worst nightmare I've ever had.

Slowly the wound loosened

Until it finally breaks.

I stumbled into the eyes of those who seemed to want to cry but were restrained.

" i'm sorry you're with Mom" said Dad who then stood by holding Mom's hand.

"no, you can't go".

"please bring Riri too"

"take Riri well" I said in a voice that started to sound hoarse.

" we love you" said the father who slowly stroked the tip of my head.

"If you love me, why do you want to leave me" I said with a deep sense of destruction.

Mom and Dad turned around and slowly left me.

" Riri come along" I said standing up and trying to step with them.

But the steps I've left far behind, the more I try the faster the more Father and Mother leave me.

" Father Mom, wait" I said softly with a cry as I pleased.

"don't go, don't leave Riri"

"Bring riri with you" I sat down on the empty room I didn't realize when it was.

My eyes kept staring at those wearing white dresses and shirts getting further away.

Aaarrrrgggggg

I barked out all the tightness in my chest, trying to think clearly and digest it all with the inseparable gaze of Father and Mother who gradually disappeared from my sight.

I cried even more and felt an excruciating pain that I never even felt.

" please don't leave" the word grew louder to hear if anyone else was currently with me.

I stared in disbelief at what had just happened.

I strengthened both my hands to support my feet to stand up, slowly stepping in the empty space that felt increasingly dark.

My gaze was only fixed towards the front where Father and Mother simply disappeared.

But a weakened move made me fall back down again.

All I can do right now is sob cry and call my Mom and Dad.

" Riri is afraid"

***

I don't know how long I've been sitting down with a blank look and a mind that doesn't matter

My energy felt lost, even to stand up feeling unable.

Tears rolled back down my cheeks, though,

disbelief gnawed at my heart and mind

" father".

"Mother"

I said softly with a sweeping look at the empty space that only I am.

Aaaaarrrghh...

With hands squeezing hair and tears constantly falling down, I screamed out loud with great despair.

"Oh my God, where did you take my parents?".

"let me be with them"

"I promise I'll be a better kid".

"Oh my God, if this is my waking dream"

"I'm really scared"

"Please wake me up from this dream"

I still said with tears in my eyes and tightness in my chest.

Silent empty space without corners makes me more desperate, the color of the space that was originally white increasingly blackened and darkened.

My eyes kept looking for where to get out, with a trembling body I tried to stand up and step even though I was limped.

Without knowing the direction and purpose I continued to move on with great fear.

However, the steps that I felt were far away with a long time became futile when I found no way out.

I fell back down and cried feeling my helplessness.

only silence and emptiness accompany every soft voice that comes out of my cry.

"where are you?" I said softly with a trembling body feeling an overwhelming fear.

Hundreds of times I tried to get up and step, but that step ended with my falling back in despair of finding no way.

Dark and silent, the steps were fumbling with eyes that continued to look at the empty space and wished there was a hint of light that accompanied my rare looking path.

The length of time I went through further clarified my despair that there would be a way out, my body felt to be an empty shell with no soul in it.

The tears that described my sadness all this time dried up and drained away without leaving a single drop.

Even my hopes of finding my way back started to fade a little because of this dream.

A dream that feels long and never ends.