Dark Princess

Dark Princess

Should I be angry at myself? If yes, where did it start? Ever since I can remember, I've been living in such a way. If I were still there, maybe everything I'm dealing with wouldn't seem wrong. I grew up and lived that way. See right? What's wrong is the woman. Why bother taking me out of there just to leave me alone. He should be responsible for all the bitter things I've been through.

I need to do something now, can't stay here much longer.

I moved as slow as I could so Earnest wouldn't wake up. I took a moment to capture the look on his face in my mind. Just looking at the peace that was there, I already knew that we were not destined for each other. He was like a prince who came to save me. But as in the stories, the saved princess is a kind daughter. Not a crazy person like me. He has to stay there, maybe find the right daughter for his life. And me? I need to figure out what to do next with my life. Do I have to go back to where I came from? Because that's where my life is?

I used the phone to send a message to Drey. I had prepared some kind of food that was notoriously good around the city, was much nicer, and had them buy right then and there. First the order to Drey. After I thought he was leaving, I sent Andrew the next message, and the last one to Fred, to deploy all available troops get the food I order no matter how far and long. They should have left their respective bases. I can also safely get out of that place.

Armed with cash from my wallet, and adding some from his wallet - I decided not to carry any type of card so as not to leave a trace - I left. I just need myself and some money to pay the tax. The rest, I'll wear it until I find an idea of what to do next. I must have found something before the money in my hand ran out. I left by the side of the road some distance from the lobby. After repeating the address clearly, the driver runs the taxi.

...

I'm back in this place again. The place I misinterpreted as the castle I was heading to, and wonder, why is it not as beautiful as we often imagined it to be.

The room was empty, as it should be. Who would want to spend money to live in a place like this? The air is very humid, smelly and dirty. A typical atmosphere, because even so, we had stayed for 3 months. Maybe because we don't have the money, as the woman said.

I lay my body there for a while, hugging myself, reminiscing about 14 years ago. I thank myself for staying that long. Don't forget to thank the woman, because after all, she had fought for me back then, the most difficult moment for me. My circumstances are very strange. He must have been scared, but he survived. He talks to himself all the time because I can't say a word. He said everything he could. Sometimes I don't even understand the words that come out of his mouth. She used to cry when she saw me struggling with myself. Now I can forgive him a little. That man, whom I should have called papa, had made me an addict, but he helped me fight to break that bond and start a normal life.

But the meaning of the word can be different depending on the point of view of the person who experienced it. My life inside the palace was normal for us. I was happy for 7 years to be there. Every day is what I look forward to because I will sit down with that man and be able to admire him at will even in silence. And whatever happens there, it's a normal chain of activity. For us, it's a normal way of life. Even if I end up dying on the offering table, I will still consider it natural. Until I was taken into a different world. The new values I absorbed were very contradictory. I who was an angel was nothing more than a disgusting criminal.

Whose fault? It should be the woman's fault. He should have just let it go. He should know nothing so there is no need to do anything. He shouldn't have messed up my philosophy of life by acting as he wished. Should I be angry or grateful? For him, what he did was right.

I'm curious. Why would he have to take me from there just to throw me out on the street? What's wrong with that man's conviction that turns out to be my papa? Can't he understand that what my father did was the right thing based on his point of view? All of us in that place were his children, so it was only natural that we followed all his instructions. Why bother taking me and risking his life? Moreover, when all he could do was throw me away like a nobody. Plus, he just watched me in a miserable state and he did nothing. So who among them are the bad guys?

Should I go home to papa? But how? I don't even know where that place is. And if I knew, how important was my return? Will I ever become one of the chosen princesses? Inherit his kingdom? Maybe that's good, I'll inherit his castle. It's okay if she wants to make me her concubine. Why why anyway? He is my papa after all. He has every right to do whatever he wants with my life. That's the reason I was born into this world, right?

I let all those thoughts and questions flutter in my mind. I'm worried, should it be above what value do I stand? I knew I should only choose one. But those two places seem to have been unable to accept me. If I go back to that palace, I'm no longer a pure princess. It might not be used as anything. Most likely, what I received was punishment. If I stay here, I'm obviously not normal from their point of view. I deserve to be punished or even thrown away.

Slowly I set my body in a lying position, I was no longer able to embrace my knees. My back is in pain. I closed my eyes, though my mind was still busy thinking. The freezing cold weather was nothing to me. I'm already numb.