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I'm So Depressed

“Can be more attached again, Mas the position?” said the photographer who directs the pose of Yudha and also Rahma. Now their position is very fixed. Yudha was behind Rahma with one hand on her stomach.

“Ya, it's been right. But less a smile, Mas!”

I don't know how many times the photographer asked the man to smile. But the look on Yudha's face was very sad at that time if anyone really understood it. In fact, everyone there seemed to be really stupid and did not realize this peculiarity.

Like no longer having a passion for life, Yudha gave up and was forced to obey the will of the old woman. Yudha is like an animal that is ready to be dragged anywhere— under the feet of a foolish woman who has now mastered some of her life.

“Wah, great yes, Jeng. Have a handsome ghost, good, godly, and well-established continue to love his wife again,” said one friend Nely who was praising how great a man they thought was the most perfect figure.

“Stupid is self-reflective. I educated Rahma to be a good woman, so she got a good man too. Yes, right?” lyrics Nely to Rahma. While Rahma is trying to force a smile in front of people who are present at this four-monthly event.

With pride, Nely also told how they dated without touching each other until finally united in the sacred bond of marriage.

“The struggle of their love is not easy Bu-Mother, a lot of trials! But if you are already a mate, I believe that there is no going anywhere. The proof, Rahmalah survives.”

“Your reaction is good, Rahma. You should be thankful a lot. Many tablets, out there that are not as lucky as you.”

“Iya, Mom,” again Rahma forced a smile.

“Let's if the seven-month event will be bigger huh, the show? Invite us again yes.”

“Oh, yes it is for sure. This is my first grandchild. Must be special. Relax, you will be invited.”

His growl was not playing when he heard the woman speak. Stuck in his mind wanting to blow this house up. His teeth tightened and his clenched hands held back the emotions that would overflow.

Not wanting to see anything untoward that could embarrass himself and others, Yudha left the location and chose to enter her car. Unexpectedly, it turned out that Alif was also there. The man was solemnly enjoying the music with his headset without caring about the people around, especially the rowdy people who just got into this car.

“Why even get in here, Bang?” alif asked without trying to look at the frustrated man next to him. “Later in search of the same Umi Rahma,” he said again insinuating.

“When do I die?”

Yudha's words just now made Alif a little surprised that he kept the noisy object away from his ears. “You want to die?” tanyanya.

“Yes, I'd rather die,” Yudha replied with great confidence.

“Be careful, speech is prayer,” Alif said later. “At an event like this do you guys still fight too?”

Yudha.

“Then why did you leave your show?”

“This is not my show, but this is their show. So let them enjoy it.”

“You guys are weird, including you too. You've been angry lately, too. I'm confused by your attitude.”

“Those who always start,” says Yudha doesn't want to be blamed.

“Fighting is common, isn't it? You will surely get along again.”

“It's true, but I gave up a lot. To make our relationship okay. You don't know what my wife and mother are like!”

“That's it?”

“Yes, very bad! Unhelpful,” Yudha replied grumbling. “Her cup I have wrongly married a child of satan.”

Only once did Alif hear her brother speak rudely. That's a sign he's very angry.

“Try you to speak so in front of him.”

“Of course I really want to do it, but I want to really appreciate my wife. She's pregnant with my son now. I just want to keep his feelings.”

“How about ... Vita?” ask Alif later.

When he remembered his name, his voice dimmed. His heart immediately pulsed in pain. He really missed his half-dead first wife. How many times did Yudha dream of it at night, until she woke up wet from it.

“Can I keep helping you, Bang.” Alif said sincerely.

“It looks like Vita is already very fed up with me and does not want to see me again.”

“You still love him?”

“Why do you ask that?” asked Yudha in an unusual tone. “If I didn't love her where might I be this now.”

“If you may know, why did you first defend Vita, if you finally married Rahma too?” Alif ventured to ask this sensitive question very carefully. “Is there any intention to have both?”

“Initially not even though back then I still loved Rahma.”

“Then?” laif asked again, getting curious.

“They keep pressing. I can't bear to see it.”

“Keep Brother take it for granted?”

Yudha nodded, “But I did not know that it would finally be like this.” There was a moment's pause as soon as he continued his words softly and so deeply, “I was very depressed.”

“Now your feelings to Rahma how?”

“Samar,” replied Yudha briefly. “He's getting aggressive.”

“Isn't that good?” alif said guessing something else.

“Not about that. But about how he managed my life,” Yudha replied in denial. “As if I was a puppet they freely arranged as he pleased.”

Alf turned his head, looking at the pity of the only brother who suffered because of his own work.

A little while Yudha was silent, before the man finally continued, “Now he has never been seen again he feels guilty. Precisely he looks happy after Vita long time no.” Yudha lowered her head in, then continued, “It turns out just that it was the girl I used to love and I was proud of everyone.”

“Maybe it wasn't so, Bang. But now things have changed a lot. He's not the only one anymore. Surely he will do anything to defend himself,” said Alif straightened the way of Yudha's mind.

“No. Everything was already in my eyes and I only realized it now.” There was a rough sigh from the man, then turned back. “Here you go, I'm tired. We'd better just go home now.”

“What's right, you go home without taking your wife, your in-laws go berserk again. Umi same Abah is tired.”

“No, I'll reason later.”

“Yes already, if you want. Frankly I don't like it here either, which is why I broke away to the car.” Alif started the starter and stepped on his pedal until the car left the location.

“Let me go later to Morocco,” Yudha said after a while. Morocco is a visit this month that will cost no less than thirty people.

“You sure?” Alif looked at it.

“I want to stay away for a while.”

“Ya already then.”

In the days that followed, Yudha left for Morocco feeling miserable despite her much better circumstances. On his own, he forgot about the family matter that was already on the verge of collapse. Starting on that day he was determined to live more meaningfully just for the sake of his son alone.

Under an exotic contemporary Islamic building, Yudha prayed fervently. Hopefully soon he finds Vita and returns happy together. Without anyone else interfering with their relationship!

***

To be continued.

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