This Debaran Forever

First Chemo

Bagas at that time had completed the conditions so that he could enter the nursery to do chemotherapy also felt very anxious.

Emi patiently held Bagas' hand to calm him down. Emi sure, he must do the best first for Bagas. He did not want if later he was late to help Bagas.

His father's words were all right. He had to try as much as possible so that there would be no more regrets.

When Bagas had entered the ward, he repeatedly asked Emi about how later if he could not do anything again. From Bagas' question, he looked very unwilling to do this treatment. He did not want to feel the powerless morning.

" Yank... If I'm in chemo, and I come back like before how? "

" Dear, you know, I will be with you anyway and love you forever. I want you to do all this for your healing efforts. "

Again Emi convinced Bagas like that. But still, her previous sense of helplessness made Bagas feel frightened. Even though he has people who love him and support him. But still he felt broken inside.

During the process of applying the drug for chemotherapy, Bagas began to look weakened and had to be transfused with several bags of blood before being allowed to go home.

" Dear... do you still feel nauseous? "

Emi asked this when she got to her house. And already invited Bagas to rest in the room. The nausea felt by Bagas, due to the effects of the harsh chemo drug and it makes his tongue taste bitter.

Even Bagas was lazy to speak as he sensed this. He did not answer what Emi said. Until Emi says she has to eat first and then take medicine.

There's Bagas' emotions lured. Her stomach was being uncomfortable and Emi was too noisily nearby. So he got out of control and yelled at Emi.

" You can be quiet, can't ha? I'm dizzy with nausea. You don't know what it's like. Then you're like this. I just want to sleep hard. "

Emi was shocked by the clash of Bagas like that. Tingakah Bagas is indeed the end of this very sensitive and unpredictable. Sometimes he acts like a child. Corals do act like lovers. But this time his emotions were right out of bounds so Emi was snapped by Bagas.

Sekar who happened to be at home too, he heard what Bagas said to his brother. He was angry at Bagas. But also understand the attitude of Bagas that so. Because indeed from earlier Emi could not stand still and continue to talk.

" Sister if he's sick definitely don't like it if there's a storm near him. But when he took care of big brother Bagas, he was even noisier like this. Big Brother Bagas is obviously very disturbed by this. Emi sometimes she is... "

" I'll go back to work first. Staying at home, I was confused as to what to do. "

Sekar who was already on his way to his workplace, he saw Adi on the street playing gambling with his friend. It seems that Adi's attitude is not good to be a brother.

" When are you going to trade anyway.You don't care about your sick family. You're here to scatter money as good as heart. "

Sekar's words were heard by one of the residents there. And commenting.

" Mom.. That is, the more often he gambles in this place. He seems to have entered into free association... The problem is I hear people there are already using drugs. "

Sekar was afraid that he was dragged into the conversation deeper so he responded with a smile and immediately left without saying goodbye to the people there.

" I shouldn't have dealt with them. Do drugs or whatever. That's none of my business. The most important thing right now is my brother. I am in this place only for my brother. "

He continued his journey and began to work again. At Emi's house, she was currently sitting alone in the backyard while daydreaming. He realized what he did to Bagas was too much. So Bagas felt uncomfortable and snapped at him.

" You don't know Yank, what it's like that I have to pretend every day to be okay in front of you. Holding back all my emotions and showing only one expression was a happy smile. I'm tired yank... Can I complain now? your attitude that does not want to cooperate with me makes me more tired of living my day. Not to mention the demands from my workplace and you. You may not twu, if all this time you still have to submit a report to the school. And it was all me who walked it. But you are now even more burdening me with your changing attitude. I miss the old you yank... Who was so gentle with me and loved me. At least to treat my fatigue. "

Complaints for the sake of submission can only be Emu will not alone. He had no friends to share and when he wanted to tell his sister, Sekar seemed to want to avoid being at home when Bagas was at home too.

Because Bagas is always sensitive to everyone except Emi. Bagas often pretended to sleep just to avoid chatting with others. It happened while in the hospital and Bagas was still in hospital. She would always pretend to sleep when Emi's friend visited her in the ward.

And it is no secret that Bagas avoids interaction with others. The reason for Bagas is only one. No one wants to get a look of concern and pity from others. He assumed what others said was the wind. Only theory without proof. Can lecture and ration without knowing how to live.

Until now Bagas still regretted following his wife's advice to do chemotherapy. Because before he could walk now he again had to sit in a wheelchair.

But all those regrets were never conveyed to Emi for fear of hurting his wife. But what he did actually hurt Emi as well. She harbors everything herself and misbehaves Emi. All of Bagas's feelings trigger Emi's deepest grief.

" I realize that I've been bothering you a lot. But why do you want me to undergo this painful treatment. Before, I could walk. But because of this treatment, I came back helpless. "