The Journalist

Part 64: If Destiny Exists ....

The blooming taste buds are too powerful to hold my heart, making me feel powerless to shake off any hope of him. O destiny, if there is, take me and him to the happy word you write.

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"Just calm! I'll stay here and live with you guys" I told the boys.

Without thinking rationally, I immediately made a sudden decision. I'm ready to live with them as Khai. For me, Key Ayano is dead buried with my lost things. My overflowing feelings seemed to draw me into a dimension blinded by love. It doesn't matter whether I'll be flushed by a storm or some other threat. Staying by Ameena's side was already my choice.

The children greeted me with excitement. Some of them even hugged me. I looked towards Ameena. Unfortunately, his expression right now was not the same as that of children. Ah, never mind, he was always flat like that, right?

Despite being this close, Ameena still avoided interacting with me. Even just to face him, he rushed to turn around and look for a different direction to avoid me. Because I did not want to make him uncomfortable, I also did not dare to enter the house. I kept outside, busy making wooden toys for the kids.

"Where's Omar's brother, huh?" ask one of the kids.

"Eh, yes, I didn't see her after eating!" sahut other child.

I then looked around. Right, Omar's not around this place. Where the hell is he?

"Kids, you wait here! Brother will be looking for Omar!"

I stood up and took off the equipment I used to make the toys. Just as I turned around, I saw Omar appear from a distance, running towards us while carrying a pile of clothes.

"Where have you been?" my many.

"I ... went to the refugee camp. There is a division of used clothes from volunteers" Omar said with a loud breath. He then distributed the used clothes to his five younger siblings.

"This is for you! I'm sorry I only got two pieces of adult men's clothing." Omar handed me two Middle Eastern men's suits.

I immediately wear it. This outfit is pretty big on my body. Suddenly one of the girls climbed up the chair to put his sacrificial and ring over my head.

"Sister, you look like an Arab prince" he said.

Omar then pulled my hand to get a little away from his sisters.

"So, I'm looking for a man who can marry you to our teacher."

"What's? Married married?" I was so shocked that I made a shrill sound.

"Yes, you like our teacher, don't you?" Omar looked at me seriously.

I was silent for a moment.

"If you really want to marry our teacher, I'll take you to the priest tomorrow. He'll explain the terms."

I didn't answer. Not because of doubt, but because until now I did not know how Ameena felt about me. In addition, marriage is a very serious and sacred thing. It cannot be decided in a hurry. With us being like this, being with him was more than enough for me.

***

In the evening, I went back to teaching Omar the basic techniques of martial arts. He was really quick to memorize attacking and defensive techniques. Maybe because he used to be in the military training of extremist groups.

I decided to monitor his training from afar while sitting on a long bench. I leaned my back against the outside wall of the house. Coinciding with that, the window that was directly above my head suddenly opened. I raise my head. Ameena's face immediately entered my retina. He stood in front of the window holding a candle that was emitting a dim light.

"Why not sleep?" my many.

"I want to see Omar."

"He is training very seriously. I thought he hated me so much for not keeping Khalila." I smiled blandly while looking at her face that was highlighted by the candlelight.

"I told her, if she hated someone for Khalila's death, the one she deserved to hate was me. Because I'm the one who told you to take Khalila away" he said softly with helpless eyes.

I was stunned for a moment. Ameena's view continues to be on Omar who is still practicing. I straightened my head while breathing quietly.

"Tonight the moon is beautiful. Do you remember when we met for the second time? Back then, we climbed trees to hide from the pursuing soldiers. The moon that we see from the top of the tree, just like tonight," I thought as I looked up at the sky.

The coldness of the night was not felt because of the presence of Ameena. I don't know why my lips don't stop smiling. My feet were swinging rapidly to the rhythm of the heartbeat. Even though we don't sit together. We are still limited by the wall. With him, even limited circumstances become special.

Omar's words this afternoon instantly flashed back in my mind. Is this a good time to talk to Ameena?

I turned towards him and knelt in front of the window. "Mina-chan ..."

"Hi, come back to Damascus!"

At the same time, Ameena first said something that jolted me. He then turned around, picked up something stored under the arranged clothes then turned back to face me.

"Take this money! I don't know if this is enough or not to get you back to Damascus." Ameena gave me some Syrian pounds.

For a moment, I was stunned to the point of being speechless.

"A–what do you mean?"

"You ... can't stay here too long! You have to go!" pinta Ameena's.

"No! I'm not leaving you!"

"Thank you for your empathy for us. God willing, we'll be fine" he said gently.

"It's not just empathy. It's been my decision."

"Your place is not here!"

"But I want to be here! I can help you take care of them and take care of them. I was able to give up everything I had to live with you, "I tried to convince him.

Ameena shakes. "That's impossible!"

"That's not impossible!" rebut me with a frowning forehead.

"We can't! We don't have any relationship and any bond" Ameena said in a barely whispering voice.

"What kind of relationship do you want from me? A fella? The family? Or as a couple? Just tell me, I'm willing to be whatever you want" I said enthusiastically. I don't want that to express my heart's desire. For that, I let him choose as he wanted.

Ameena turned back. "We're too different. You and I are not the same."

"Why should differences be equated? All this time we've been side by side with differences and I don't mind that."

Ameena looked at me. "In this world .. there are things that cannot be forced. Except ... if it's .. by God's permission through a destiny."

I turned away from her gaze. "I still doubt the existence of destiny!" I think what happens in life is the logical consequence of everyone's free choice.

"Don't you see for yourself? However we try to save Khalila by taking her away, but death approaches her anyway. It was part of a destiny that could not be prevented." Ameena said slowly while continuing to look at me.

I was silent for a moment. In my brain right now could only conclude that Ameena was rejecting my presence by her side. Have I misinterpreted her body language? Or am I overconfident in that I feel the same way my heart does?

"Why ... Why did you ask me to leave?" My voice dropped one level. I think half my energy is gone.

"Because I want to keep seeing you as a journalist. I want you to help a lot of people's voices that the outside world can't hear. If you choose to be with us, then you will lose that profession. Besides ... Don't you feel like someone is waiting for you anxiously there? You were declared missing for taking me to a refugee camp and now it's like it's happening again. Think of the people who are waiting for you right now."

I put a look at his eyeballs. We were caught in the freezing. My mind is struggling between logic and taste. Should I win the logic and succumb to the taste as Ameena wants?

"All right!" With a heavy heart, I told him. "If you want that, but .. I don't have the right to take this money! You and the kids need it more."

"Don't worry! Before he was killed, Ahmed had deposited enough money for our lives to come. We can also pick up groceries in Mr. Ali's field."

"I can't—"

"Take this in return for the kindness you received from Mr. Ali. Mr. Ali was very eager to repay your kindness. So, please accept this meager money as a provision to return to Damascus."

While looking at her, I took Ameena's gift. This is certainly an agreement on his desire for me to return to my family and relatives. I could see the bluish eyeballs were beginning to be covered in water. I don't know since when the look in the eye seemed to be a painful arrow to me. He hurriedly closed the window.

I was still kneeling while staring at the wooden window that had been closed. I put my palm in the window. I'm sure he's still standing back there.

Mina-chan, is it so hard for us to come together?