The Journalist

Part 53: Life Choices

On the way to Damascus, I was busy blowing steam from my mouth into the window of the train, then doodling abstract things with my index finger tips. I did this in an hour's drive. When I was going home, I said goodbye to Mr. Ali and Khalila. Mr. Ali gave me a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables that can be used as foodstuffs.

Ameena didn't come to see me and I didn't look for her either. After all, last night we had a chat in each other's rooms.

Finding and letting go of love are two things that always seem to go hand in hand. For me, letting go of love is like giving our loved ones a chance to achieve their happiness and start a new story for themselves in order to find other happiness. I've experienced that when I let Yuna go. A few months after our relationship broke down, I found a new love. Unfortunately, this cycle happened again so I had to release Ameena just like Yuna.

Mina-chan, chasing you might be like running on the spot. It will never arrive.

As soon as I arrived in Damascus, there were many reports and news that I had to write. For three days I stayed up to finish it. At the very least, everything must be finished before I return to Japan. I'm still down covering the news about the weakening economy of this country, where food prices are soaring, the currency is collapsing, power outages are worsening, to gasoline shortages.

This is inversely proportional to the village inhabited by Ameena where the life of the community there is more feasible and guaranteed. For some reason, it actually made my fingers suddenly stiff when writing about the crisis of this country. A bad feeling came to my mind. If the food and fuel crisis continues to occur in government-controlled areas, it is not impossible for major territorial wars to break out.

"Otsukaresama!" Eiji came to surprise me by putting a wine bottle next to the laptop.

"I can't drink tonight. I don't want to get drunk," I refused subtly while sliding the wine bottle that Eiji had just given me.

"Oh, yeah, you're leaving tomorrow!"

"Give me a cigarette!" my door.

Eiji poked his cigarette, I took a stick and asked him to light the lighter. Suddenly So patted my shoulder from behind. Not only that, he even massaged my back. Followed by Aoba who immediately sat crashing beside me while eating a sprig of dates given by Mr. Ali.

"Ayano, we're definitely gonna miss you. Every time you're not here, you're completely empty. Like when you went missing for four days and went to take the little girl for five days. Now, you're going back to Japan for a whole month!" luh So while continuing to massage behind me.

"Say you're just afraid of sleeping alone!" scorn me while laughing amusedly.

After a year with them, it was like finding a new family member. Finding a solid, compact and understanding co-worker is a haven for me. In fact, we used to be very awkward with each other at the beginning of the assignment.

Finally, my return time came. After saying goodbye to my colleagues, I also headed to Damascus international airport by taxi. They couldn't take me because they had to cover a little attack that the extremist group had staged as a warning.

source: Gatra.com

Fortunately, the journey to the airport went well despite the issue of an attack on the outskirts of Damascus. I sat in the waiting room and opened the book Ameena gave me. My phone suddenly rang. It was a call from my mother. He must want to reconfirm my return.

"Moshi-moshi ...."

"Jin-chan ...."

"Yes, Okaasan! I'm at the airport."

"Ano, okaasan met Yuna a while ago at the supermarket. She ... a little weird. He ... does not recognize the okaasan when okaasan greet him. In addition ...he was also with a man," said the mother with slow, slow intonation. Every word was spoken very carefully.

Hearing Yuna's name, my heart rippled slightly. I forgot that mom didn't know about my breakup with Yuna.

"Okaasan, Yuna and I are done."

"Eh? You guys broke up?" Mom's aghast. Can be heard from the sound of his voice.

"That was almost a year ago. It's best that Okaasan doesn't have to say hello to her again if she meets him next time" I replied again. With Yuna being like that, I just don't want to make Yuna confused and wonder.

"What happened to you guys? Are you lacking communication? Is it because he doesn't agree that you're going to Syria? Or ... because she was having an affair with the man she was with?"

"Stop, Okaasan! Okaasan's question is like a reporter's fad. Yuna isn't that bad after all. Me and Yuna parted well," I replied.

"Why didn't you tell me something earlier?" mother protest.

"Your son is no longer a child. The matters of the heart, should be their own business, right?" I said while laughing bitterly.

"Don't say that. Whatever the age and mind of a person, in the eyes of his parents is still a child."

I just smiled wryly. Looks like the breakdown of our relationship was a blow to mom too. Naturally, considering that Yuna was quite close to my mother.

"Is ... are you okay?" tanyakanya.

I was silent for a moment. "It's okay. I ... have been through a time of heartbreak. It's all gone."

"No need!" I said quickly, "i ... already have a replacement."

"really?" I sound happy, "tell Okaasan what kind of person he is!" tanyanya hunt.

"She .. is different from Yuna and other Japanese women. She is a woman in this country, Okaasan definitely knows the appearance of Middle Eastern women in general. His status is also different from mine. She .... never married, but don't worry she's educated. He is also a teacher and a volunteer" I explained at length. I was like a sales person who was heavily promoted.

I come from a scholarly family background, so I guess it's only natural that my parents would expect a partner who would be able to keep up with our family.

Now, replace the silent mother. Pretty long. I stared at the phone screen to see if we were still connected. Until a few seconds gathered into a minute, the mother was still silent.

"Kasanas?" call me for a moment.

"You like it?" ask mom in a serious tone.

"Like it!" reply fast.

"Okaasan will also like it if you like it."

"Eh?" I gasp.

"Okaasan knows you won't give hesitant answers to everything you love. Hearing you get so excited about talking about the woman, makes a relief," my mother replied back.

Suddenly, the mother's voice sounded calm like lake water which also brought coolness. I think he's just empathizing with me over the runaway old relationship I've had with Yuna. Perhaps, in his eyes at the moment, his son was too pitiful.

"But he's not my new boyfriend. Our relationship is just a normal friend. Maybe ... I'm the only one who likes it while he doesn't" I said in a deep voice.

"Maybe? Have you revealed your feelings for her yet? You wouldn't know his true feelings if you hadn't said them first."

"I'm ... not sure I can tell him directly. I have to go back to Japan when he's going to get somebody. I don't have that chance anymore." I even poured my heart out on my mother.

"Then make it a chance now!"

My black bead expanded instantly. Now, it was my turn to be quiet for a while.

"Okaasan," call me hoarse.

"It's okay. Your life is yours. Neither Okaasan nor Otousan. It's all about choice. How do you choose your way of life and take responsibility for it."

"Is it okay even if he's different from us?" many doubt.

"There's nothing in this world like one another, right?"

I'm holding haru. I bit my lips as these eyes felt foggy. I am lucky to be born into a democratic family. As parents, they didn't force me to walk the prepared tracks. They just pressured me to always take responsibility for my choices. It made me remember the moment I had to take off my martial army uniform and come out wearing only ordinary clothes. My father became the only person waiting for me at the gate of the army with a big smile.

"Hontouni arigatou gozaimasu!" I told him many times.

(I'm really grateful)

At the end of the phone, mother said in a soft voice, "Kei-chan, okaasan only asks one thing from you. If you have any certainty from him, return to Japan alive!"

"Of course, Okaasan. I don't intend to die here either!"

I hung up the phone, put Ameena's handbook back in my bag and ran out of the airport. True said the mother, each person is given the choice to take the path of each life. There are times when we have to put our own feelings first. Because we have the capacity to exercise control over life. This is the same as the concept of human agency that believes that humans are able to organize themselves, proactive, reflective, and self-organization. It also has the power of its own actions to achieve the consequences we want.

Mina-chan, even if chasing after you is like running on the spot, I will continue to do so until you turn your head towards me and come towards me.

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brother Yu wishes a happy Eid al-Adha for those who celebrate. don't forget the thumb tancepin and stay in Komeng.