The Journalist

Part 35: Nestapa's Row is Coming

After that painful day, Yuna instead considered it as if nothing had happened to our relationship. He is still as usual, actively sending messages even though he just said good-bye to eating and sleeping. On the contrary, none of his messages got any reply from me. I also no longer answered his phone calls. I did it so she would give up and stop calling me.

Maybe for him now I really became a heartless person. Not that I could easily leave him. I'm just trying to beat my ego and my feelings. Fortunately, these few days I have been busy covering some of the areas that are back heating up. I also spent my free time learning Arabic and compiling investigative articles about sexual harassment cases that I had summarized after getting some evidence. During the preparation of the news, I continued to interact with Zaheera. Apparently, he can't wait to see this case lifted into the media as I promised.

"Hah ... finally done too!" I held my hands up high after these fingers were busy dancing on the keyboards for hours.

"Wuah ... Ayano-san, Sugoi! You can put this into such detail." Aoba praised me while reading the results of investigative reporting articles from several refugee camps.

"That's thanks to your help too!" I looked at my three loyal comrades who had helped me all this time.

"I'm so impatient. Take it easy, I'm willing to share more than a hundred times the news link so that more people know out there," said So excited.

"Otsukaresama! If this news were to explode and receive extraordinary attention, you might be up for grabs by foreign media, "Eiji said as he thrust a bottle of wine at me in solidarity.

(Otsukaresama desu: good work)

"Arygato!"

I immediately informed Zaheera that the abuse case had been written in the news and was ready to be raised by the media.

"Do you think this news will help the oppressed women in the refugee camp?" ask Zaheera.

"If this news can attract the attention of the international public, then the United Nations has no choice but to investigate the case at the urging and condemnation of the people" I said optimistically. I am grateful to work under the great Japanese media which is quite well known in international circles. At least, my article has a great opportunity to reach other countries.

"Please express my gratitude to your journalist friend. I can't wait to read the news."

His reply excited me even more. I also wanted to know what Zaheera's response was to the news I wrote. Impatiently, I immediately sent the investigative article to the editor-in-chief by email. Since this news is not part of the task order, then I cannot directly send the article script to the assistant editor. I need approval from the editor-in-chief first.

It turns out that the term "what we expect sometimes does not match reality" really exists. As I experienced after getting an email reply from the editor. The article I sent last night was rejected. In other words, this news failed to release!

"Ayano, this is indeed big news. However, we cannot release this news" the editor-in-chief said as I called him.

"Why?" many quick.

"It's too risky! Our company will get the spotlight and maybe even a ban later on. After all, you're a new journalist who doesn't have a name in the news world. Who will believe this?!"

"But I included evidence and data. There is evidence of direct interviews with the victims. You can check it out directly." I'm trying to fight for my article.

"Even if it is like that, it cannot. We have limited space to take news. This news content meets a provocative element that could provoke some camps to react on the UN people."

I'm battered. What he said has a point. During this time, the Japanese media is very careful and often avoids news content that is clouding the situation. This is in accordance with our culture that always avoids disputes in order to maintain the harmony of others. However, it was certainly very different to the case this time. I don't think we should sacrifice certain groups just because we don't want to have an upheaval. How can we dream of living in peace while on the one hand there are still many who live in peace?

"What do I need to do so that my article can appear on the news portal? Do I have to edit some narratives that are too loud? Just tell me, I'll fix it right away. Shouldn't the truth be revealed even though it is bitter?" I'm still pushy and trying to get my articles up to the news portal.

"Nothing! Forgetit! Focus on your work as a reporter."

"What do you mean this news is not important? Me and the team even used our own money to go around looking for evidence."

"Who told you to do a news investigation? You were sent there only to do coverage on the battlefield, not to do things outside of your duty like this. Don't waste time taking care of things that aren't your business! Forget this news! Sooner or later, there will be other media discussing this issue. Or you just sell the news to other outside reporters." He ended our conversation by disconnecting the phone.

I rubbed my hair rough. I feel like screaming. When all has been completed one hundred percent, we have to get a big obstacle like this. What am I supposed to do? Zaheera would have been disappointed if she knew this article failed to go up.

"How's it?" ask Aoba.

I shake wryly. I cannot express through these words of disappointment.

"I suspected! We are wasting time, money and energy! I told you from the beginning we're not investigative journalists!" ketus Eiji while shaking his waist.

"Ayano, what are you going to do? I know you've worked so hard on this news." Compared to Eiji who was immediately cynical, So even looks sorry for me.

I sat leaning behind the bedroom door, smoking a cigarette. Letting that nicotine scent fill this restroom. I thought by being a journalist, I was free to uncover the hidden truth. In fact, I am still constrained by the rules and policies of the media company where I live.

My phone didn't stop ringing incoming messages. I suddenly lost my appetite for anything, trying to open an incoming chat message. Expect it from the editor-in-chief who might change his mind. It turned out that the entire incoming chat came from Yuna.

He sent dozens of pictures of us for eight years of knitting love. My lips flashed a smile, looking at my face in the school uniform to the special martial army uniform or so-called Coyote. I was quite amused just by seeing my style transform from year to year.

"Do you remember this picture? I took this picture of you going to America to go to college there." Yuna sent me some photos taken at Tokyo airport. "Do you remember this restaurant? This is your favorite pasta restaurant. We celebrate our fifth anniversary here. Hhmm .. I wonder if there are Italian restaurants in this country? I'd love to eat pasta." Yuna was unceasingly sending out photos.

As it turns out, there are so many moments of our togetherness that are immortalized in the camera. I know, he's trying so hard to remind us of the memories we've been through. Unfortunately, he doesn't know how tormented it was that I had to leave him and all these memories.

Yuna, understand ....

***

The days of war are the same. There was nothing new but the information of the attack and the bomb explosion. There is no other agenda than news hunting. However, this morning I was suddenly not excited to do anything.

I woke up with lazy eyes staring at the face of the earth. Still on a thin mattress with no idler, I tried to stall my hands to reach the phone I had placed on the floor. I fell asleep without turning off my phone. Dozens of Yuna's messages last night got no reply from me. Even so, he still sent a message just saying good morning to today.

I switched to checking the incoming email. There was a message coming from Zaheera. He asked me about the article I promised to release in the near future.

"Sorry Zaheera, can you give me some time to discuss this? These days my mood is very bad." I'm typing in Arabic which is starting to improve.

"Sorry .. I didn't mean to bother you. I don't know what you're dealing with right now, but if you'd like, you can tell me to let your burden lessen a little."

I smiled thinly. Actually, there are two things I'm dealing with. About the matter of the article I couldn't release as well as about my relationship with Yuna being forced to end by circumstances. However, I chose to tell her about my and Yuna's problems, where I was forced to leave her.

"If I may give you advice, we must respect the existence of a person while he is still there and still want to be with us. Just because he keeps clinging to you doesn't mean he can't stay away when you keep pushing him to leave. Because, there are some situations that make people who love us really go away even though we call him back. I don't know what difficulties you're facing, but I was once in the position of the person who loved me to leave forever. Don't let yourself be full of regrets and worries in the future."

It was a reply to the message that Zaheera had sent me. I didn't think she'd ever experience anything more miserable than me. Me and Yuna might just be separated by blessing and differences of principle. However, Zaheera and the man who loved her were separated by death.

For some reason, those words opened up my courage to fight for my relationship with Yuna. I can't just give up. I started thinking, it doesn't matter if we don't get married. As long as we can continue to be together as we have lived, everything will be more beautiful than just pinning a ring on the ring finger. If Yuna can hold on, why did I choose to retreat?

I also decided to come to Yuna's dorm after having ignored her for a week. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. A colleague of his told me that this morning he was assigned to volunteer for the attack that took place in the city of Qatana. At the same time, I got a call from Aoba to rush to the city because there had just been a bomb explosion that killed dozens of civilians.

I then followed my friends to a city 25 kilometers from Damascus. Arriving there, I could see some hotspots still burning and frenzied medics in dealing with the victims of the bombing.

I asked my team to find Yuna. I think I need to tell her that everything I told her back then wasn't entirely true. I still want to be with him even though one day our relationship will still run aground or he chooses to give up to continue this relationship.

"Yuna ...."

"Kei .. Are you here too? You've been busy these past few days, haven't you?"

I'm nodding. Our hands hold each other. Those sparkling eyes still radiated the same message of love. I may be the most stable creature on earth.

"Yuna-chan, I ...."

"Doctor, let's go there! There's a patient who's stuck in the middle of the rubble!" One of the medical colleagues approached him in a hurry.

"Key, I'll go there first! Take good care of yourself!" he said as he removed our hand links and ran in a hurry to leave me.

"Yuna-chan, after this let's find a good pasta restaurant in the country!" I shouted in the midst of the busy medical people who passed by.

A big smile on my lips. Just turning the body, a huge explosion sounded that was not far from me. I turned around quickly with sharply rounded eyes.

"Yunaan ...."