Our Barrier Fort

Not Want to Split

Ganesh and I stared straight at the lake, the water was so calm. Not like our feelings are so messed up. It's been almost half an hour, yet neither I nor Ganesh are still silent. Confused where to start the conversation.

"Emmm. Ganesh"

I finally dared to open my voice first. There's no way we're just going to be quiet like this, while there's a lot we need to get right now.

"Yes?"

Ganesh looked over and asked me. The man looked quite depressed with all this. Yep... I shouldn't have pressured him either, while he was also so distressed by his Grandfather's request.

"What's your decision?"

Ganesh seemed confused to answer my question. He certainly knows what the question means. I just need certainty, maybe if Ganesh confirms what decision he will make. Then I will be more able to accept it, even though it will definitely be quite heavy.

"I can't refuse Grandpa's request, Ra. But, I promise you to keep trying to maintain our relationship"

I fell silent at Ganesh's words, my heart was quite happy when Ganesh was so sure to maintain our relationship. But, will it work? Maintaining relationships with far-reaching differences. We are too different to be united.

"But..." I doubt myself what I will say. I want to refute what Ganesh said, but I also don't want this love story to end so soon.

Suddenly Ganesh clasped my hand, the man looked me in the eye fixedly "I can't without you Ra. I want to be with you always. Is that wrong? If only we were meant to be together without this distinction. Maybe I could've married you a long time ago and there wouldn't be much of a hurdle like this in our relationship"

Tesss...

Even the tears I couldn't stand, I felt the same way. L loved her.. Loved her... But, our barrier fortress is too high to reach. We're not the same.

I kissed Ganesh's hand several times with tears flowing and soaked the back of Ganesh's hand holding mine.

"Why should we be different? We might not be able to be with Nesh. Everything's too hard"

Hix..Hix...

Even sobs I can no longer stand. I was crying so much. Just wanted to blow away all the tightness in this chest. Everything is too hard for me to live. Especially with Ganesh who must also be depressed by his Grandpa's request.

Ganesh hugged me tightly, sounding his heartbeat so fast. I know that guy feels the same way. Ganesh continued to kiss my head and rubbed my trembling back as I continued to cry.

"No, don't cry anymore, we just need to calm down" said Ganesh

Hix...Hix..

I might be able to calm down when our relationship is on the brink of collapse. What should we do if it's like this. Reality is reawakening if we are different and cannot be together forever.

A while we just hugged each other, my cries began to subside. However, the tightness in this chest is still there.

I broke into a hug, and stared intensely at Ganesh "Or we just run away Nesh, we're married to continue living out of town. Anyway, far from here. I can give in, I can follow your religion"

I don't know what I'm talking about, it seems like I'm getting so insane that I'm getting Ganesh married without parental blessing. I've gone completely insane, look how shocked Ganesh's face is.

"How should we go? Do you want us to split up, right? I don't want Ganesh, I'm not ready for that"

"When is Ra? All this time, our relationship is still like this. You know clearly what the problem is. I also don't want to part with you" Ganesh looked seriously at me, not that he didn't know what was the barrier to their relationship.

"Keep we gotta how's Nesh?" I can only look down sad. Is it all gonna end here? Lord.. I'm really not ready for that.

Ganesh breathed a heavy sigh, I know he also knows the problem. However, I just want to momentarily forget about our relationship Barrier Fortress for now. I just want to stay with him.

"Hows it? What do I have to do so we can stay together forever Nesh?"

"Our Barrier Fort is too high to reach. I can't break through that fort. We're different"

Ganesh's explanation made me speechless with eyes that had started to glaze over. I underestimated that too much, it turns out that Ganesh also cannot penetrate our barrier fortress.

I know that, the Barrier Fort is too high to reach. Differences are hard to put together. We're not the same.

"If that's how Nesh lives, I know we can't be together. Live everything well with or without me"

I finally said that word, a farewell that I really didn't want to say. But what can I do? It seems like everything should be over. Even though I don't want that to happen. I loved her so much.

I said the farewell, but my cry was broken, I didn't want to say it to Ganesh. But this is the truth. Ganesh and I are different. Our faith is different.

Ganesh hugged my body, not that he was not disappointed by this fact. But, I know that this story will not last long and end happily like the story in fiction. We cannot forget that, a reality that does not allow us to be together.

Ganesh still hugged me tightly, he sobbed softly. This is the first time I have heard the man cry. How I don't want to make this decision. However, this separation will still happen now or later. We can't stay together forever.

"No, that's not what I meant. If our barrier fortress is too high to reach. Then we remain in our respective positions, without wanting to reach the fortress. But we can still be together. I don't want to part with you, I'll try to talk things over with Grandpa" Ganesh said, sounding so desperate from his tone.

I cried sobbing, my hands kept stroking the man's back. I know if Ganesh feels the same way as me, we don't want to part ways. But it all seemed like we wanted our farewell.

"We can't continue like this Nesh, you've been betrothed to Grandpa's chosen woman who is definitely the best for you. Which has no difference like me and you"

I just want to finish this. I don't think there's any better solution than parting ways. Even though I knew it would hurt for both of us.

Ganesh shook his head "I will not let you go Ra, no matter what happens I will not let you go!"

After saying that, Ganesh left me who was crying so much that he saw his departure in a blanket of emotion. I knew Ganesh would definitely reject my decision. Actually I don't want to be like this either, I just pretend to be ready if we really have to part ways. In reality, I wasn't ready for that.

Seriate

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It's getting harder... Not continue on?? 😄