Our Barrier Fort

Not Ready to Open My Heart Again!

"Why leave me, disappear without news? All my social media access and cell phone numbers are blocked. Is that how you hate me, Ra? I know I was wrong to have married another woman when we were together and loved each other. But, what should it be in this way Ra? I'm in a big mess looking for you and trying to get to meet you, no matter how"

I still think about Ganesh's words, all the questions I can't even answer. It all ended when Ganesh got the call, he came out of the room to pick up the phone. And at a time like this I made it an opportunity to run, running from all the questions of Ganesh that would have cornered me.

I still want to be silent about all this, it feels like I can't explain everything without a cry there. I just avoid that, I don't want to look so weak. Because I'm sure, if I tell Ganesh everything. Why did I disappear without news? I resigned from GE without his knowledge. And the reason is only one, our difference.

Our Barrier Fortress is difficult to reach, because our differences are too far away. Father and Mother's blessing that I didn't get either. Grandpa's blessing is the same, I don't get it. All of that is Nesh's reason, and I wouldn't be ready to tell you all that right now. These tears can even just flow with me remembering all our memories. How can I endure this cry when I tell you everything. I'm just as hurt as you are, Ganesh.

I was sitting on the sofa in front of my window. Again this clear liquid kept flowing down my cheeks. I can't hold it anymore.

Meeting Ganesh again after these few weeks we no longer exchanged news. More precisely, I blocked all access to Ganesh from being able to contact me.

Everything I do for us, so Ganesh can be happy with Tyas. And I'm gonna try to start a new life without her, even though I'm not sure if that's gonna work out. My life is without Ganesh, the man I love and the spirit of my life.

I brushed away the naughty tears that kept flowing without being able to control "Strong Ra, you can definitely get through all of this. Let Ganesh be happy with his wife. He and Tyas are the same, unlike you and Ganesh. We're too different"

I monologue just to try to strengthen myself. At a time like this, only I can strengthen myself. Other people won't know what I really feel. They only judge everything from the outside. Don't you know if I'm so fragile and hurt right now? Other people only see me as cheerful and fine. I don't know how my heart breaks.

Tok.dok.

"Ra, let me in"

I looked towards the door of the room that was knocked from the outside. Wipe away the rest of my tears immediately, afraid that you might find out I'm crying. And why did Dad suddenly come to see me in the room?

Not like always, if you have anything to talk to me about. Then he'll tell Mom to call me. But, now why did Father himself come to my room directly?

"Just enter Well, not in the key anyway"

I tidied my hair and a slightly messy appearance. Not to mention the tears that are still visible in the corner of the eye. I immediately rubbed it.

Dad came in and sat in the front seat of the dressing table, he looked at me fixedly making me nervous and immediately put my face down. Afraid that Dad knew I was just crying. Because all this time I've always shown that I'm okay. Not hurt or disappointed by the decision I have taken on the wishes of Father and Mother. In fact, I was very fragile and hurt.

"Emmm. What's up, Dad?" I chose to ask first, because Dad was silent. Perhaps he was doubtful of what he wanted to say or was there really nothing he wanted to say? I don't know...

"Dad knows this must be hard for you, but try to accept everything. You open your heart to others, hopefully you can move on faster than Ganesh" said Father

"What is Dad saying?"

I definitely don't want to commit to any man anymore. Afraid that it'll end like this again. I don't want to fail again in maintaining relationships and love.

"Listen to Ra's father, you still love him, don't you?"

I didn't answer Dad's question. Of course I still love him, lying if I say I've forgotten Ganesh. Four years is not an instant to be able to easily forget our love story.

"You'll forever be stuck with that feeling if you don't try to open your heart to others, Ra. Not that Dad is selfish, it's just that Dad won't willing Daddy's daughter to be stamped as a snatch of people's husbands. No matter what your story is, here you are still the snatch of people's husbands. Since Ganesh was legally married, want to know the story behind it all. I just don't want you to get hurt with the stamp of a man's husband, your future will also be ruined Ra"

I really understand what your mascudine is, everything you say is true. But I'm not a prankster! And to open my heart to another man, I don't think I'm ready.

I let out a rough sigh, I didn't look at Dad's face at all. I knew that the middle-aged man must be very sad about my circumstances and my love story. Like anything, I'm still a father who doesn't want his daughter to get hurt.

"I've chosen to leave Ganesh Yah, as I would have liked. But, to be able to open my heart back to another man and start a new love story, I'm not ready. Please give me some time, leave me alone first and try to heal this wound, Dad"

"Dad pray that there may be someone who can heal the wound of your heart" Father stood up and walked over to me who was still sitting on the sofa, he stroked the top of my head and kissed it.

"Good night, rest your daughter's father"

I nodded slowly as tears fell. From earlier I just bowed my face, afraid to look at the face of the father who was no longer young was saddened by my current situation.

Dad, I love you so much.

I'll make your prayers go, Dad. I hope there is someone who will heal my heart.

Seriate

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