Our Barrier Fort

I'm sorry Mom, Dad

Sitting quietly on the sofa, looking out the window. My feelings are still very messed up right now, choosing this decision really hurt me. It was a very right decision for everyone, but it hurt me a lot.

Wh why? Why should I?

This difference can no longer be combined. We've tried so far to keep our relationship going, but it's all over. But fate is not on our side.

God, why is it like this?

The ending I didn't expect at all, gradually wanted to end happily. But, it turns out that the end is not like that, everything remains the destiny that chooses. We do not choose destiny.

Hix..Hix...

I immediately wiped away the tears that just flowed. I can look fine on the outside, but my heart is really hurt. Love that is hindered by belief, still will not be united. The fortress is too high to reach.

When alone like this, the wound in the heart is getting painful. All the memories with Ganesh, filled my mind even more. Everything is too beautiful, our memories are too many to forget so soon.

I don't know how long it took me to forget all our memories. Everything is too hard for me to live with now. Life that feels empty, lonely and does not know the direction of the goal. That's how I feel right now. Although this body looks healthy and fine. But this heart is not! I'm hurt by all this. Decisions I made myself.

Hix... Hix...

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

I woke up almost in the evening, unaware that I was asleep on the couch. Eyes that felt puffy, I stood up and walked towards the dresser. Looking at my swollen eyes with a pale face. A chaotic appearance to myself at this moment.

This head feels dizzy, the glare begins to twinkle. I walked slowly towards the bed, everything felt spinning. I fell asleep on the bed, trying to ease the pain in this head.

Chequelek

I heard the door open, wanting to see who had entered my room. My eyes are too heavy to open. I just kept quiet and kept my eyes closed.

The slightly swaying bed made me realize that someone was sitting on the edge of my bed. Then, a hand stroked my head.

"Ra, your body is hot. We're going to doctor yuk"

Finally I knew who had entered my room, Mother's soft voice ringing beautifully in my ears. But, there's no energy for me just to scowl Mom's words. Even to open your eyes, it is very difficult.

"Wait a minute yes, I make you porridge as well as bring medicine for you" Mother's voice sounded again, followed by a slightly swaying bed. I heard the door open and shut again. I really feel weak now, I feel cold with my body temperature rising.

I felt the liquid dripping in the corner of my eye. In times like this, tears still flow without being able to hold back. I'm tired of God, why does our story have to end like this. Love and destiny are no longer on our side. In fact Our Barrier Fortress remains stronger than anything we have ever fought for.

There was the door of the room that opened again, followed by a step. I forced open my eyes, even though it felt heavy. I saw Mom, Dad and someone coming up to me. I guess it was a doctor, visible from his clothes and with what he was carrying.

"Ra, you're in check first huh" Mother said as she stroked my head after she kept the tray on the bedside nightstand. Maybe you brought the porridge she had made.

I just blinked my eyes in response, my mouth feels hard to say a word. Especially with a throat that feels very dry.

"Miss Seira was just soy sauce and too much of a thought, so her body's immunity went down. Probably also due to lack of sleep. Expand the rest, please this prescription is redeemed at the pharmacy yes sir." explained the Doctor after he finished checking.

"Okay Doc, thank you"

I closed my eyes while listening to their conversation. It's true what the doctor said. From the day that Dad gave me such a hard choice, that I actually made a decision that made everyone happy. Since then, my life has been ruined. Even just to be able to sleep well, I can no longer feel it.

"Ra, eat first let Mom bribe" Mom stroked my head gently

"Yes Ra, I want to go to the pharmacy first to redeem your medicine" said Father

Mom helped me to get up, and leaned back on the bed with a pillow as a backrest. Then, Mom took a bowl of porridge on the nightstand and fed me.

I looked at the middle-aged woman who was bribing me. She's a woman who has fought a lot for me. The woman who gave birth to me and took care of me until now. It wouldn't feel like I had to let her down.

If all this would make Mom and Dad happy. So I was willing to sacrifice the feelings and love that I had been fighting for with Ganesh.

"Mom"

Mother who was stirring the porridge and scooping again to feed me, she looked up her face "Yes Ra?"

I immediately hugged Mom from the side, making her a little surprised by my actions. Even the bowl of porridge almost fell.

"Why Ra?" mother asked, of course he must be confused by what I did suddenly

"Thank you Mom, thank you for everything. Forgive Seira if Seira always makes Mom and Dad angry and disappointed"

I just feel guilty about all this. Seeing the tears of Mother that flowed in that time, made my heart completely slashed. I feel like I'm thinking too much about my own happiness. Not thinking about the feelings of those who were hurt by me.

Mother kept the bowl of porridge back on the nightstand, her hands gently stroking my back. He also kissed the top of my head. "Mom and Dad just want what's best for you, Ra. It's not that we don't like Ganesh, but I'm disappointed with him. Because of her, you're no longer even honest with us about the marriage she's been in"

I'm silent, it's not Ganesh's fault. But I was also guilty of following Ganesh's words, asking me not to tell Mom and Dad about his marriage. At that time, I was just thinking about our relationship. Not with Mom and Dad. I'm sorry, Mom.

"Sorry, Mom. I'm sorry"

Seriate

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