LOVE SONGS OF LOLOBATA

SANDWICHED

I put my clothes back in the little sling bag I was wearing. Salman and mama both looked at me with suspicious gazes.

"Who is Bray?" ask mom with sharp eyes.

"Sister's girlfriend who calls every midnight to say good-bye, Ma. So sweet really." replied Fifi with a flirtatious smile.

Oh my God, Fifi is hard to condition. It has been treated to an expensive dinner as he dreams and loaned a device to make the video he wants, but there is no return. My secret remains dismantled. You ungrateful little brother.

"Sister's girlfriend?" Mom's eyes were pouring into her heart. "Mama's mom doesn't know."

"Mas Bray that's a Firdaus mas call, Ma."

"That's a dear call, Ma." said Fifi as she stuck her head close to her ears.

"Ooo so you're secretly dating Firdaus. You gave up yesterday on that sadistic woman because you felt wrong about seizing someone's fiancee?"

"No, Ma. We have no relationship that far. Just friends and cooperation in carrying out bird conservation activities. If you don't believe in Fifa, just ask Hisham's sister."

"It's okay brother if I'm not dating. Bray is the perfect husband. Handsome, kind, and rich. Brother is very lucky. Imagine until the face of the brother is damaged like this he did not leave the brother. Even help you catch the psychopathic sadistic girl. Try where there are guys as good as that in the present era. Gas continues until halal, brother. Don't let go!" Fifi ngockeh with relaxed style. It's like a romance consultant. Maybe because it has been poisoned too much Korean dramas.

I'm down. Fifi's words have a point. But frankly I'm afraid to accept the truth. Let's just say Bray wants to accept my situation. Will her parents accept me as her companion? If only sugar was possible. But I don't want my dignity to be so demeaned. I want to find a matching partner. The important thing is to be the only queen in my family. I still think logically, not people who are blinded by feelings.

"Mama had expected it from the beginning. If indeed you love each other, it is better to be inaugurated. Don't hide."

One side of my heart also wants it to be, but it says different. "No, Ma. Fifa still wants to be alone."

"Until when?"

I'm shaking. I don't know how long I can convince myself that marriage is the best decision. I still want a lot that has not been achieved.

"If you don't want to, Fifi will marry Bray."

Salman laughed, "Will Mas Bray be like you?" salman asked while pinching Fifi's cheek.

Fifi stroked her cheeks from Salman. His eyes looked at Salman with an annoyed look.

"Weight sister responsibilities as guardian of 2 younger sisters. The mysterious one is not clear what it wants. One is small but the centile wants to mate."

Fifi hit Salman's shoulder. "I'm not the one who wants to get married."

Salman chuckled loudly.

"It's late at night. Let's go back to Grandma's. You pay the bill, Fifa!"

I'm nodding. I put my veil back on and went to the cashier. The atmosphere of the restaurant is starting to fade. Only a few customers eat. Mr. Rodi was waiting for us while smoking in the smoking area. Poor thing. He seems to be waiting for us.

I think Bray's talk is closed. Along the way we commented on the building or the unique things we saw on the road. The atmosphere of the streets of Makassar is still crowded. Very much different from our village which turned dark and silent at night.

But arriving at the house Salman asked for a four-eye talk to discuss it again. The day is past midnight.

"I wonder what Bray is like? When did you first meet and get close to her?"

Although not yet sleepy but I prefer to avoid talking about Bray. Embarrassed. I don't want to share my feelings with anyone.

"Must dong. It was still warm and curious. When will we meet again. I'm the only brother you have left. Think of it as a substitute guardian for baba. I should know my sister's connected to anyone." Salman embraces me and invites me to sit together on the sofa of the family room which will be his bed tonight because all rooms have occupants.

I was actually awkward and uncomfortable chatting alone with Salman considering we had just met after growing up. But I couldn't resist. Highlight the eyes of the baba as if emanated from his eyes that were shaped like hazel nuts. The look in those eyes ordered me to obey.

"A short story is okay" he said in a softer, more relaxed tone. His eyes still demanded I have to speak honestly. Salman's eyeballs are brightly colored similar to mama's, but his eyes look like they're being possessed by a baba spirit.

"Mas Bray and Brother Hisham saved me when I passed out in the woods. That was our first meeting." It was hard for me to retell the events without imagining how my heart felt when I first opened my eyes to see the enchanted creature. Unknowingly that memory spreads the happy hormones that prompt my lips to curl a smile.

Of course I have to be normal in front of Salman. My brother was watching every detail of my movements and expressions.

"The next meeting Bray was found at the scene when my best friend's parrot who used to perch on the walnut tree next to our family's old mosque died. I suspect he shot the parrot because he was the only one holding the bow at the time. We misunderstood. The following days he tried various ways to prove that he did not kill the parrot. That incident then led to our cooperation to make conservation and bird breeding activities endemic to the Lolobata forest."

"Have you? Just like the story?"

I'm nodding. Too formal. It's not an interesting story. But that's our short story pure version without involving the feelings that intertwine in our hearts.

"Sister still can't believe it. There must be a dear baku between you. Mama said, the director of the mining company was too good to just claim to be a friend."

Stuck up already me with that statement. Mama must have told a lot. So excited whatever the mother told this beloved boy. Surviving not to talk about the heart is hard.

"Honestly, Fifa! My sister will not be angry. Falling in love is not a mistake, but a gift." Salman said it with a wise smile. He tried to provoke my emotions into talking about feelings.

"Not in love. Maybe more precisely in love. Fifa doesn't want to be his girlfriend or his wife. There is no such mind. Just happy to see him and be near him. He was good. Because of him Fifa finally opened up to see the world. Fifa had preferred to be alone and drowned in grief since Baba died."

"Ehm, if for example he asks you to be his wife would you accept?"

I'm shaking. "Wedding is better to be sure, brother. His lifestyle and habits are too different. Bray can't be like baba. Enough Fifa so the fans just like Fifi ngefans same oppa-oppa BTS personnel."

"do you want to marry someone who looks like a baba?"

I nodded for sure. It was hard for me to escape the characterization of Baba, my first love who died in an unnatural way.

"So, if he comes to propose, you better refuse?"

Akh, that question always managed to worry me. The answer to my heart is still floating. I let it stay floating without certainty yes or no. I don't know until when. Sometimes they appear anxious. Don't-don't Bray be back for a minute leaving me. Humans have limits to patience. One day he will feel tired of fighting for me who is always worried and does not dare to fight my own ego. I was afraid it really happened and I ended up having to lose him. Though I need to be with him as a friend, brother and idol who encourages life.

"Not answer now. Read your heart well. Do not forget to always pray for guidance from the Most Merciful for He who embeds love in the heart of every creature."

I'm nodding. Good words from Salman. God is using an invisible arrow to match and unite the love in our hearts. Presumably Bray is not only good at archery literally, but also inner archery.

Tut tut tuuut my gawa rang again. Video call from Bray.

I saw him so shocked when my image appeared with Salman still embracing my shoulder.

"Assalamu'alaikum." Salman and I say hello together.