LOVE SONGS OF LOLOBATA

SWING MOOD

I don't know the feeling of dizziness and nausea that comes in the morning makes me lazy to move. I also hate the sun. My job's fucked up. He just wanted to get angry and cry. Bray gave up more often and kept quiet. Lately he has not forced me to eat. Every morning he prepared milk, biscuits, and various fruits at the dinner table before going to the office. The day before dzuhur he came to bring himself lunch of my request. After lunch he went to the mosque and then back to work in the office. Our relationship has turned sour. He rarely smiles.

This situation makes me more tormented. I feel more unloved. Bray had to serve me for his son. Often in my mind after this baby was born, he would rob my son and dump me. That bad shadow always haunts me. Every day. Every moment. I'm afraid that shadow really came true.

I locked myself in my house for two weeks. Not going to the foundation. No greeting the next door neighbor. Suddenly Farhana's doctor comes to visit the house with Aga.

"Assynolajet. How are. How are you." Aga uttered greetings and raved over and over again as was his custom.

I almost forgot my best friend's parrot. Ever since he didn't want to stay in my arms anymore, I've been lazy to visit him. Especially now with the state of my heart that is not because of this.

I forced a smile and answered the greetings of my guests kindly.

"Aga kangen you. It's been 2 weeks that you haven't been to the foundation office. Mas Firdaus said you are still sick, so we came here. What pain?"

"Nausea and dizziness."

It is not really nausea and dizziness my main problem. But my mood is not good. I don't want to meet anyone. I'm no longer useful. The office of the foundation already has one administrative staff who take care of all daily operational affairs. Without me the foundation's operations can run smoothly.

"Have you been to the doctor?"

"It."

"How are you. How are you." Noisy repeating the same sentence.

"The doctor's not here to check on me, is he?"

Doctor Farhana laughed, "No. I'm a veterinarian, not a human doctor."

"Hehehe. Kirain could be a human doctor as well. According to biology, humans are classified as mammals, just like monkeys, cows, goats, whales and dolphins."

"It can be."

Doctor Farhana let Aga fly and alight on the walnut tree next to the mosque. The bird said hello to everyone around the mosque. All those around him were interested in paying attention to the red-headed parrot chirping. It looks like the bird is starting to be narcissistic, happy to show off its behavior to attract the attention of many people.

"I am concerned about your pain. Kangen too. The other staff wanted to look at me, but I didn't allow it. Afraid of interrupting your rest."

Doctor Farhana knows I don't like the crowds. It's good they didn't come here. Besides the noise, I was also ashamed of being looked at by the crowd. Especially if they know I'm not really sick.

"Timor deer that used to be entrusted by the BKSDA had given birth last Monday. The baby's 3 and funny."

"Yes. Have a look at the video. Excuse me. Not yet gone for a look."

"The baby and the mother are all healthy. The birds in the aviary are also all healthy. Mr. Andi asked how you were doing and said hello. Yesterday he picked up a siamang who was wounded by a hunter's charred."

I smiled wryly. Doctor Farhana is that. Speaking of it while looking at me. I look like a Siamese. Sebel.

"Tomorrow God willing I try to go to the office. I like to be confused, Doc. Dizziness and nausea recur every morning. If it's a little afternoon this pain subsides. But want to go to the office during the afternoon lazy. Afraid of the sun."

"So weird being afraid of the sun? Usually leaving in the morning, afternoon, afternoon is no problem."

I blushed as I massaged my non-squeezing hands.

"Are you pregnant?"

I didn't answer.

Doctor Farhana smiled excitedly. "Thank God, O Allah. Will be quickly given momongan. Her father Firdaus must be very happy. It quickly answered."

Is correct. Papa was very happy to hear this news. Mama, grandma, Fifi and Salman are also happy. I'm the only one sad.

Doctor Farhana approached me and stroked my flat stomach, "Healthy baby. You in the belly of Mama Fifa do not be spoiled and do a lot of work! Poor your mama."

I scrunched my forehead. Like just crazy people. My stomach is still flat. The baby is not moving either. Why invited to talk.

"What are you craving, Fifa?"

"Nwantedam?"

"Yes. I want that weird thing."

"No idea, Doctor. Just ordinary feeling. I just feel dizzy, nauseous, sad and angry is not that obvious."

"And fear the sun." I added while blushing. I think fear the sun is something out of the ordinary.

Doctor Farhana laughed.

"I've never seen Afifa get angry. I guess what the hell?"

I smile. I have rarely been angry all this time. Moreover, Farhana's doctors were good people, older, more educated and more experienced. It's inappropriate to be scolded when I've been mad at him.

"Who's the same anger?"

"Enterprise yourself."

"The same anger with Firdaus."

"Why angry?"

"No idea, Doctor. I like to be unclear why. I'm easily offended."

Doctor Farhana.

"Maybe there's something that is harbored desire?"

I'm shaking.

"Many young mothers who are first pregnant experience mood swings or mood swings. Sometimes angry, offended, or crying for which the cause is unclear. That is natural, because there is an increase in the hormones estrogen and progesterone. Both of these hormones affect neurotransmitters or chemicals in the brain that regulate mood. Does Fifa feel that way?"

Doctor Farhana's smart. That's exactly how I feel. "Yes, Doc." I replied.

"That's natural. Only Fifa should be able to control those feelings so as not to increase the level to become stressed. If the mother is stressed, the baby is also stressed. Fifa wants her baby to be healthy physically and mentally, right?"

I'm nodding.

"Then Fifa had to fight to be happy for her baby to grow up healthy and happy."

"What's the stress sign, Doc?" manya curious.

"Stress is a sign that we feel worthless, lack of energy, are not interested in the world around, feel guilty, restless, or overwhelmed by prolonged sadness. If the mood swing level is already stressed should expectant mothers ask for help from a psychiatrist."

Huh huh? A psychiatrist? I guess what I feel right now has reached a level of severe stress. Do I have to go to a psychiatrist?

"What do you think about Fifa during early pregnancy?"

"Fifa doesn't want to have children yet, Doctor." I finally decided to be honest with Dr. Farhana. I don't want to stress. Especially depression. My son had to be born healthy in order to be the pride of the family.

Doctor Farhana smiled and immediately hugged me.

"Aren't you in love with Firdaus?"

"Love."

Doctor Farhana was confused by my innocent answer. "Usually women will be happy and proud if they have children from people they love. Moreover, you have an official marriage bond. Is there something you're afraid of?"

"Fifa doesn't want to have a child so soon."

"Children are a fortune to be grateful for, Fifa. If you have children, your parents-in-law and your husband will love you more."

"Cure Huh?"

"Here my mother-in-law was against my marriage to Dr. Hans. But after having kids, so baby."

"Doctor Hans?"

"The more dear dong. It's just unfortunately shared a little with junior Hans." explained Farhana's doctor with a flirtatious smile.

Is Bray gonna be like that? Who knows someone's heart? Only God. Yes, only the All-Knowing God is the condition of the human heart today or the one to come. He is the one who can turn the hearts of men. I should still be grateful for his gift and surrender to Him no matter what happens tomorrow.

"Fifa don't keep yourself locked up at home. Can ask between drivers to make it to the office or just look at the aviary. We miss Fifa."

I actually have a lot of new programs, but I'm lazy to move. This feeling of laziness imprisons me.

"Assalamu'alaikum." Bray came home with 2 box catering lunches. I forgot to tell you about Farhana's doctor's arrival.

"Wa'alaikumsalam."

"Eh there's doctor Farhana. Lunch with you, Doc! I'll order one more."

Bray immediately took HT and contacted the catering officer to bring 1 more box for Farhana doctor.

"Not bother, Firdaus. I can eat at home."

"I'm glad the doctor came to visit my wife. I'm confused he's frenzied and doesn't want to meet people."

"From tomorrow we go to the office. Want to see baby timor deer. Now Dr. Hans has a deer farm. Tomorrow morning mas anterin I go to the office of the foundation. After dawn. Before the sun comes up." I replied refuting Bray's sentence as well as giving him a new assignment.

Bray smiled with my awkward request. So far he has never denied. Whatever I want is always obeyed.

"Mas Firdaus is so sweet. Kebangetan love. Everything Fifa wanted to obey." commented Farhana doctor after Bray went to the mosque to pray.

It might just be for his son. Not for me.

"Fifa should be more grateful. Don't think bad. Sometimes out of the house. If you are afraid of the sun coming out at dawn or run out of Maghrib and ask Firdaus mas friends. Do not forget to eat and drink nutritious so that you and your baby are healthy. Later I teach an online obstetrician consultation. Maybe there's a cure to reduce nausea let you get excited again."

I nodded while blushing. Embarrassed. I should have not shut myself in the first place. Ask educated people like doctor Farhana about the problem of pregnant women so that my mind is open and can control my feelings that are oscillating this unclear.