LOVE SONGS OF LOLOBATA

BY GRANDMA

After showering and praying Maghrib, my mother waited for me to have dinner together in the front room. As usual sitting lesehan roll out pandan mats. I have given Andi's greetings to my mother and youngest brother.

"Why not be forced to stop by, Fifa? Let's have dinner together here." Mama looks disappointed Andi did not stop by.

"Sir Andi had to return the car used to transport birds and deer to the office. He's not alone. Maybe it's not good with his partner if you have to stop by again. Afraid of the night."

"Said uncle Hasan, in his family he was called Sharif. We should get used to calling with the name Sharif because Andi is actually the name of the title. If you want more complete call Andi Sharif." protest mama who now prefers to call Andi with the same name as baba.

I nodded even though my heart was not willing. Moreover, mama said Andi was very similar baba when young. The rice spoon is only half a bowl of medium size. Just a spoonful to make it enough to eat three. In my heart I'm grateful that Andi didn't stop by. If only you stopped by, Mama would have bothered to cook rice again.

Tonight mama cooks the yellow yolk and freshly picked long bean stew from the garden in the yard of our house. I took a tilapia and watered the yellow gravy until the rice and long beans were soaked in gravy. This is how delicious living in the village, every day enjoying fresh vegetables picked from the garden. It tastes sweeter and fresher.

"Saturday morning we were going to Makassar."

"Oh yes. Mama forgot to prepare gifts for grandma. What yes?"

"Just pandan, Ma." suggested Fifi.

"If it's a better sister for him." responded to mom while smiling at me.

I scratch my head. There are only 2 days left. It's very timed. Should I overtime again like the time of doing the matting of Mama Moly's bag?

Before my vocal cords rang, my mother spoke first, "If you don't have time, that's okay. Let's just give you the mat weave you've been making since last week."

Apparently mama saw my grief and my time is no longer loose due to tied job responsibilities.

"Mama's pandan is too simple. Less fitting for grandma. They're city people, Ma. Pandan mats that like mama made for urban people are only used as body wrappers in the grave. Fear if giving plain pandan mats so grandma misperception think we expect it not to live long." protested Fifi with pursed lips.

That's right Fifi said. During this time mama made pandan mats which by our villagers used as a seat or bed. Simple pandan mats woven without motive and coloring. Here such plain pandan mats are more saleable in the market. Residents here are more concerned with function and low prices than aesthetics. Mat patterned manufacturing process is longer and complicated until the price is more expensive. Only occasionally mama make a motif pandan mat. The colors and motifs are simple. Usually mama only make plaid motif mats such as sarong motifs.

"Well, how's dong? Mama can't make a bag as good as big brother's."

Fifi looked at me. "Make cluth, brother. A big wallet that looks like an envelope. But the motives are varied, do not plain." proposed Fifi.

"Later Fifi find an example on the internet." added Fifi enthusiastically.

"Cashy. If you choose the model, you should. You can learn how from the internet. Poor sister Fifa. Heavy work. Your brother's still busy as an assistant secretary at the mining company."

I'm shaking. I swallowed a mixture of rice and fish sauce that was still chewed in the mouth. Hic. Apparently there are still fine spines stuck in the esophagus. I took the clear water and drank it slowly while praying in my heart.

For a moment I kept my breath. While mama rubbed my back gently while advising, "Don't rush to eat it, Brother."

I didn't have much to say about my activities with Mama or Fifi. Even so they knew for more than 3 weeks ago I always went to the office of the big company. When asked why I always go to the office of PT XY yes I answer honestly is studying while helping the job of the company secretary.

"Fifa is no longer in office at PT XY kok, Ma. From now on Fifa is based in a small office near a large aviary located near the forest to the east of the office."

"Mama guess by knowing the director so easy to be appointed as an employee of the mining company" said mama lirih. Disappointed murat engraved on his face that began to lose collagen so that it looks slack on the lower cheek.

It's not my fault mama overthinking and thinking I'm going to be appointed to the big company. I'm reluctant to explain how our actual cooperative relationship is not like a contract between an employee and a company. My mom worked because I was paid for the company.

"Sorry, Mom! From the beginning, Fifa said that Fifa was only asked to be the caretaker of the foundation engaged in bird conservation. Fifa's office is in a big office only temporarily to learn to take care of the administration of the secretary of directors."

"It's important, Ma. They need to show potential overseas investors that the company is responsible for the environment. One way to show concern for the environment and nature sustainability is to create a bird conservation program endemic to the Lolobata forest such as halmahera angel, nuri, muray, etc, cockatoo and other distinctive birds that have begun to be rare and endangered."

Mama looks unsatisfied. There was still a wedge in his mind but was reluctant to be expressed through words.

"Mom don't expect more. You know what Fifa education is. The women who worked in the office were all graduates of the academy or university. Fifa doesn't want to be a field worker and heavy equipment driver like Arfa used to do."

Mama nodded, but the look on her face still showed disappointment. I know why. Must be gossiping mama mama ghibah will make her upset. Lately their perception of me has improved. Maybe because I met face to face with some neighbors who were heavy equipment drivers in the company so they thought I was working as an office employee. If then they know I'm not a company employee, surely the nyinyir talk will grow even more powerful.

"I'm sorry that Fifa let mommy down."

Mama shook her head, "It's not Fifa who's wrong, but it's mama who's too hopeful. We should be happy and grateful for what we have now. Don't expect a miracle."

I don't know, from the sentence implied there was hope our lives can be better after knowing Bray. People who had underestimated our family lately had started to approach mama because they hoped to get a certain benefit. But that is impossible. I have absolutely no motive to take advantage of the opportunity to know Bray and his close people for personal gain.

"Mom should believe what Fifa did was good and beneficial."

Mama nodded then smiled thinly.

"You'll go to school until university, Fi. I want one of my kids to have a job that people appreciate."

Fifi glanced at me with a question mark. There was a burden that was difficult to express from the words of my mother just now.

"Lecture is expensive, Ma." explains Fifi.

Mama turned to look at me, "You can help with your sister's tuition, right, Fifa?"

I took a nod even though I didn't know how to go ahead. I just want to see my mom smile and have hope. However, of the many people talking about our family, there is also a cause of heartache and make mama feel fragile.

Mama hugged us both and kissed the top of our heads in turn.

"Promise your mama that you will live together forever and help each other!"

"We promise." I said and Fifi together. Our eyes clashed with each other.

Actually, the promise is heavy, but for the sake of mama I can handle it. Though imagining the cost of college Fifi that would be my burden made my head pulsate. Enough of that promise to make your smile expand tonight. May God make it easier for me to keep that promise.

Mama arranged the empty plates and told Fifi to take her back. "You guys washed it clean, Fi."

"Yes." replied Fifi lazily.

While Fifi was backwards, I took a roll of dried pandan that some had already dyed. "From tonight Fifa will weave the best bag for Grandma's souvenirs" I said enthusiastically.

"Mama friends. Mama also wants to weave a mat." Mama also held a new classic pandan mat that was woven half way.

I must be eager to complete this noble task. A souvenir for a grandmother made with her own hands is hopefully more impressive than anything. Because to make it I need to struggle with the rest of my time.

Singlehead, Fifa. Something that is done with a sincere heart will certainly get better results than being done by force.