Love of the Past

There's No Explanation

"A...what are you doing here? You were following me on purpose? I'll call security." Neva rushed to reach for the phone near the door but Eldar quickly held Neva's hand.

"Follow me ....!" said Eldar while pulling Neva's hand.

"Let GO.....! I don't want to!" Neva tried to pull his hand. Yet Eldar's grip was so strong.

"Sick Eldar!" lamented Neva.

Eldar loosened his grip slightly but did not let go of his hand.

"I want an explanation from you" Eldar said in a voice that began to look calm.

"What explanation? What should I explain? Shouldn't the one who should have given that explanation be you? But nevermind. I'm lazy to argue with someone who's done with me."

"Our business is not finished yet" Eldar said as he stared intently at Neva. The woman was slightly frightened by Eldar's gaze. As far as he knew, the guy always had a gentle look for him. Neva now realizes that she does not know who Eldar really is.

"Please, Eldar. I don't want to deal with you anymore" Neva said, begging a little.

Eldar released the grip of his hand on Neva's arm.

"Follow me!" then he opened the car door.

"No!"

"Well!"

"I'm a married woman. I can't go with another man without my husband's permission."

Eldar doesn't care. He kept pushing so Neva got into the car and locked the door. When Neva tried to open it, it couldn't be opened.

"Eldars....Eldar ....!" Neva screamed, but Eldar pretended not to listen. He immediately sat behind the steering wheel and ran his car.

"Don't fuck around Neva! I don't care if we're both going to get hurt." threatened Eldar as Neva tried to grab the steering wheel.

Neva was silent. He didn't want to die silly with a rude man who ruined his life in the past.

Eldar continued to run his car until they entered an apartment complex.

"Why are we here?" neva asked as Eldar took it out by force and dragged his hand into the luxurious apartment building. Eldar attached the card to the doorknob.

"Goddess.....!" Neva tried to keep breaking away but he couldn't. Eldar's large body and higher than him made Neva unable to escape. He was silent when they entered the elevator. Eldar pushed down the number 10 and the elevator began to rise.

The elevator door opens on the 10th floor. Eldar again dragged Neva into the only unit on this floor. A penthouse.

The door opened after Eldar placed his five fingers over the door. Eldar pushed the Neva so violently that the woman fell to the floor.

Neva grimaced holding her painful hand. He really did not understand why Eldar was so rude to him. Is this his true nature?

Eldar closed the entrance very hard. He then looked at Neva who was still sitting on the floor with the expensive carpet.

"Stand up!" said Eldar slightly reigning.

Neva stood up while enduring the pain in her hand. He did not want to cry even though he wanted to cry.

"Finally, I found you after I gave up looking for your whereabouts. It's sad to know we're in the same town." Eldar smiled cynically. No more handsome faces typical of Turkish men whom Neva used to admire.

"You want what?" neva shouted as if unconcerned with Eldar's sharp gaze.

"Where's my son?"

Neva's heart aches when she remembers the word child. "Do you care?"

"Say where is he?"

"What would you do if you met him?"

"I deserve to know about my son."

Neva looked at Eldar with a hateful look. This was the time when he avenged all the pain Eldar had left him first.

Eldar clenched both his hands. His jaw has hardened.

"Who? Who is that guy?"

"I don't know."

"Neva.....!"

"I just gave it to someone on the side of the road. That's in return for everything you've done to me. I hate you Eldar.....!" shouted Neva with already heightened emotions. Her tears fell too.

"Neva! I asked you again where my son is?" Eldar is approaching. Neva retreated until her back finally touched the wall behind her.

"Neva, don't mess with me."

"You deserve the punishment of not meeting your son for the rest of your life!"

"Ah .....!" Eldar raised his fist. Neva closed her eyes. He was ready for the pain he would receive. But Eldar's hand hit the wall. Right next to Neva's ear.

Slowly Neva opened her eyes with a trembling body. Really, it wasn't this guy that made Neva fall in love and willing to do anything in the past.

"You are so cruel. Throw away your own flesh and blood. I hate you, Neva!" said Eldar while feeling such a deep pain in his chest.

"I don't want to keep memories of a heartless man like you." Neva wiped away her tears.

"I want to go home! My husband will be looking for me."

"You love your husband?" ask Eldar.

"Very." answered Neva with the sweetest smile she ever had. "He's a kind, loving man, who can make me float while making love. I even forgot, that this body had been touched by a jerk like you before."

"I'm not who you say I am."

Neva smiled mockingly. "I don't want to hear anything about the past. I'm happy with my current life and you should be happy with yours as well." Neva said. He took a deep breath. "Please open the door."

"I'm not gonna let you go. I will kill you for giving up my son to a stranger." Eldar placed his right hand on Neva's neck.

"What are you doing?" Neva became panicked as she felt her breathing start to tight due to Eldar's hand strangling her neck.

"Let GO....!" neva said with the rest of his energy. He tried to pull Eldar's hand from his neck. "El....Dar...." Neva is starting to run out of breath.

Eldar removed his hand from Neva's neck. He looked into the eyes of the woman in front of him. Trying to find something that is a big question mark in his life.

But he found out that it was the great hatred of those brown eyes.

Neva took a deep breath. He immediately fell to the floor and cried very hard while holding his neck. "Just torture me in the past. Don't make me tormented again in the present."

Eldar looked down and looked at Neva. "You are the one who tortures yourself. You can't wait for me to come back."

Neva hugged her own body as she continued to cry on the floor. Eldar. He decided to stay away and sit on the sofa. His mind is fucked and his heart is miserable. He did not understand why this sick man met his former lover and heard the reality that he had been trying to find the truth.

**********

At 11pm, Eldar asked his driver to drive Neva home.

Neva opened the door to her apartment and went inside. Silent, quiet no warm embrace welcomed him. There was no loving and gentle husband like he told Eldar.

Slowly Neva looks at her wedding photo with Genald in the living room of her apartment. They look happy in that picture. But the reality is not as beautiful as that photo.

Neva stepped into his room. He knows there is no Genald. The guy always comes home at 23. They often don't come home either. Neva is used to it. He opened his bathroom and took a shower. He saw a red mark on his neck. Recall what Eldar did to her.

After bathing and changing clothes, Neva immediately went up to the bed trying to sleep.

*********

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