Girl In The Winter's

Girl In The Winter's
Chapter 13



"Are you not too fast?" Kevin asked with straight eyes looking at the ocean before him.


"What do you mean?" Ayumi asked back, she sat down at the side of the man who had recently become her close friend, currently they were sitting on the beach, enjoying the sound of the roar of the waves and the whirling of the winter wind.


"That man" said Kevin briefly understood by Ayumi. The girl was silent for a while staring at the pounding waves chasing before her, as if they could give her the answer she was looking for.


"Come on," he said slowly, it was all that came out of Ayumi's mouth that was now exhaling slowly trying to believe in her own heart.


"How long have you known her?" Kevin looked at Ayumi who was still staring at the ocean, watching the seagulls flying low for food.


"Do you know about his family? What's her favorite food? Her hobby? Ckk you don't even know the date of his birthday yet" said Kevin with sharp eyes looking at the black-haired girl who was now silently sculpting.


"I don't know, Kevin, I don't know!" Ayumi exclaimed desperately, there was a fragility in the girl's eyes that made Kevin's heart feel pity, "I don't know.." Ayumi again said softly, "Honestly, just say, sometimes I ask, am I sure? But the heart cannot be lied to. Every time I was with him I felt comfortable, as if I had found a puzzle fragment in my heart that had been missing."


"Are you not comfortable with me?"


"No, that's not what I mean, of course I'm comfortable with you, it's just a different kind of comfort." Ayumi looked at Kevin trying to explain her feelings, "Every time I'm with you, I feel like I'm with my family, with an older brother I never had, like coming home when I'm tired, you've always been there to encourage me, you're like a house protecting me. But with Erik it's different like there's something different here." Ayumi touched her chest with sparkling eyes, which made Kevin snort and then look back at the ocean.


"I used to laugh at people who said falling in love didn't need a reason, but now I feel it for myself, Kevin, I don't know why I feel it for sure."


"So you love her?" Kevin again asked, Ayumi was silent for a while before she finally looked at Kevin with complete confidence.


"Yes I love her."


"It's crazy! It doesn't make sense" said Kevin who now stands in front of Ayumi who is still sitting on the sand of the beach, "You only knew him shortly before you knew me. What do you know about him? Besides he's a lecturer? Nothing, Ayumi!"


"I know! You don't have to remind me of that, Kevin. I never planned to fall in love with someone in this short amount of time, but it all came suddenly without me noticing." Ayumi took a deep breath before resuming her words, she saw the white-haired, brown-haired man sitting next to her again with his long legs bent.


"You know, love doesn't depend on how long they've known each other. People who have known each other for a long time will not necessarily fall in love with each other, but people who fall in love then over time they will know each other."


"You read too many romance novels."


Ayumi smiled at Kevin's words, "Maybe I used to laugh at those who said that, just like you. But now, I'm experiencing and feeling myself."


They were silent for a few moments which sounded only the pounding of the waves and the gust of winter wind made the two close their thick jackets. Kevin stood up and stuck out his hand to help Ayumi stand up, they were now walking down the beach.


"I just don't want you to get hurt, Angel," said Kevin calling Ayumi with a favorite call he used to call the girl, "I know how you used to be so hurt and desperately avoiding that guy. But in just one night everything changed, now Erik is like your shadow. What exactly happened that night, Angel?"


Ayumi was speechless thinking about the events of the night one week back when she collapsed in Erik's arms, and when she realized the man was expressing his feelings, she said, there was a sense of happiness in his heart when he heard the confession of the man who had subconsciously stolen his heart, but there was a sense of sadness because he so easily gave his heart and feelings to a man he did not know well.


This week Erik has been cast as a good lover, he will always be beside Ayumi as Kevin said, Erik has become his shadow. Early in the morning he would pick up Ayumi and drive her to the cafe, the afternoon he would wait for the girl on campus, then they had dinner together before Ayumi finally went to intern at the hospital.


Erik did not even care about the people on campus who looked at him when he was waiting for Ayumi, all already knew the relationship between the lecturer who had the nickname ice sculpture with a medical student genius.


"Angel, are you listening to me?" Kevin's speech was successful in making Ayumi wake up from her daydream, now they are crossing Stanley Park to the bus stop.


"I'm sorry, of course I'm listening to you."


"What exactly happened that night until you passed out?"


Ayumi took a deep breath before answering Kevin's question that was walking beside her, both of her hands were put into the pocket of the jacket to alleviate the piercing coldness.


"You...what?" Asked Kevin who was now silently staring at Ayumi who looked confused to see the reaction of Kevin who looked so surprised to hear it.


"I met my mother's husband" Ayumi said as she walked back down the busy Vancouver sidewalk that afternoon, everyone walks quickly under thick winter jackets or coats that protect their bodies.


"What did he say?"


"Not much, he just wants to see me." Ayumi fell silent again, her face changed and it was not separated from Kevin's supervision.


"Is she talking about your mother?" Ayumi nodded in response, now they were sitting at the bus stop waiting for the city bus.


"You know, that guy, I mean my mom's husband said, he only found out about me a few days before my mom died, he said he was so sorry he found out too late about me, had he known from the beginning he said he would have found me and we could have lived together. But everything's been delayed?"


Kevin was only speechless at Ayumi's question, because he knew the girl didn't need an answer to it.


"You know, I even have a Big Brother, certainly not a Big Brother but he's the son of that man. She said my mother was very kind, she took care of the boy like her own son, she loved this 'My sister' very much." Ayumi laughed blandly as she mentioned about her brother complete with the quotes she made with her finger.


"Ironical right? When he was throwing away his own flesh and blood, he was raising the child of another who had no blood relation at all with great affection."


Ayumi again snorted when imagining how her mother raised others with affection, she turned her head up while taking a deep breath, her eyes staring at the dark sky of the city of Vancouver that began to darken. Kevin was still silent listening to Ayumi's story, he looked at the girl in front of him who had been pretending to be tough even though he knew what the girl was.


"He took me to Korea."


"What?"


"The man took me to Korea, he said my mother was buried somewhere in Busan City. He asked me to visit my mother." Ayumi's voice sounded soft, her head looking down at her feet that were knocking on the sidewalk.


"Are you going?" Kevin asked carefully while looking at Ayumi who was now looking back at him before finally falling back down and shaking her weak head.


"Come, I. I haven't thought about it, yet" Ayumi replied weakly, silence crowding the two of them among the noise of the vehicles crowding Canada's most populous city.


"You know." Ayumi broke the silence after a moment of silence just dissolving into each other's minds, "My mom. I mean my mom's husband said that my mom was very sorry for hiding about me from him." Ayumi took a deep breath before continuing her speech and Kevin could see the look of the injured eye from the round eye as dark as that night.


"What my mother regrets is that she hid from her husband about me, not because he dumped me!" Ayumi looked at Kevin fieryly, she could hear the sound of the girl's voice trembling with anger from sadness and hurt, "He needed some time to look for my whereabouts, she said, because my mom only told him that she had left me at one of the orphanages in Osaka, an orphanage, Kevin!" Ayumi continued as if she wanted to confirm that she had been dumped in an orphanage.


Kevin just fell silent trying to be a good listener, because for now the girl just needs a place to spill all her anger and unease.


"I just found out that I was left in an orphanage." Ayumi looked at Kevin with a bitter look even though her lips were trying to smile.


"After he found the orphanage, he found out that I had been taken by my father to Indonesia, from there he lost track of me until fate finally said something else when a month ago he joined a conference in Vancouver and met a friend of my mother who knew about my whereabouts."


Ayumi recalled the man who became the husband of her late biological mother looking so happy when she met him, as if she had met her long-lost son. It is ironic that it happened when his own mother never once sought him.


"He said that he would look after and fulfill all my needs because I was my mother's daughter who had cared for and loved her son. I don't need that right now, Kevin, when my own mother is gone and never acknowledges my existence" Ayumi said in a soft voice and then fell silent again, standing up, his head turned upward, slowly extending his right hand to feel the snow that was beginning to fall slowly sending out a cold and gentle sensation that miraculously slightly treated the sadness he was feeling.


Kevin was still silent watching Ayumi who was now smiling staring at the white grains that fell from the sky, slowly he stood beside the girl staring at the streets that began to whiten, dissolved in his feelings, and slowly he stood by her, trying to dive into the feelings of the girl beside him.


The journey to Ayumi's apartment is passed in silence, only the melodious voice of Yonghwa CNBlue coming out from the earphones belonging to the girl who accompanied the two, Ayumi and Kevin share the song that became the soundtrack of one of the Korean drama Heartstring which seems to represent all the pent-up feelings the girl had towards her mother during this time.


***