Girl In The Winter's

Chapter 12

Ayumi groaned as she tried to open her eyes she felt her head throbbing violently, then closed her eyes again just to dispel a little pain that pierced her temple.

"You awake?" The heavy voice belonging to the man he had recently avoided made him re-open his eyes perfectly. There the man stood with a tray in his hand.

"You have to eat porridge and take medicine, you have a high fever all night," said Erik while sitting on the bedside of Ayumi who just lifted her blanket to cover her nose and only showed the two black eyeballs belonging to the girl, seeing the behavior of Ayumi, who was just like her, Erik just looked at her coldly and for a while they just stared at each other without a word.

"You want to get up on your own and eat this porridge or you want me to wake you up and feed you?" Erik asked still without expression and his successful cold voice made Ayumi immediately try to sit down.

But just as he raised his head slightly he immediately frowned when he felt a piercing pain like there were hundreds of needles sharpening his head, while holding his head with his left hand he was finally able to sit even with a very hard struggle. Erik could see Ayumi's paled face and look in pain and then swiftly he arranged a pillow behind the girl's back so that she could lean comfortably.

"Thank you," said Ayumi weakly as she leaned back with a face covered in cold sweat indicating that the girl was really sick.

"Kevin came last night to bring food from John's mother, but I don't think you could eat that food so I made you porridge" Erik said, handing him a tray of hot porridge.

Maybe Ayumi would be very happy to hear Erik make porridge for her if only she was not in a very weak state even just to lift the spoon that seemed to vibrate in his hand, seeing that Erik immediately took over the tray and began to feed Ayumi who was now staring at him with illegible eyes.

"I can eat by myself." Ayumi refused to be fed by Erik who immediately looked at her with a piercing look.

"Now is not the time to be stubborn, to lift the spoon you can not afford," said Erik while cramming a spoon of porridge that inevitably finally received Ayumi. There were no words spoken between the two of them, in Erik's silence painstakingly fed Ayumi who was still weakly bowed and embarrassed to accept being treated like a baby by the man.

"Did you keep me here all night?" Ayumi tried to break the stillness that felt stiff while looking at Erik who was blowing the porridge in a spoon so as not to get too hot before feeding it into Ayumi's mouth, Erik nodded his head as he scooped back the porridge and blew it back.

"Don't you say Kevin came last night?"

Erik stopped his activities when he heard Ayumi's question which now began to look a little better not as pale as before.

"Yes, he came when I was holding you and almost hit me thinking I was the one who knocked you out on the side of the road."

Erik's words succeeded in making Ayumi choke and cough until reddened, Erik casually gave a glass of water and then patted the girl's back gently.

"I'm sorry" Ayumi said after she could speak with a small cough and finally cleared her throat.

"Why are you apologizing to me? It's not your fault, Kevin just misunderstood," said Erik as he walked to the kitchen to keep a tray filled with porridge bowls and empty glasses.

"I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you, you should have just come home last night not to take care of me" said Ayumi as she looked at Erik who was standing across the room precisely in the simple kitchen section of hers.

Ayumi Apartment is indeed simple there is only one room, a single bed occupies the end of the room, a study table is right on the edge of which is decorated with a row of books neatly arranged and a wardrobe is at the end of the bed, a yellow sofa is in the middle of the room facing the table where the 21' television is located, while the bathroom and kitchen next to it are at the other end of the room, with just one look we can see the whole room easily, but Ayumi is a neat and clean figure so that the simple apartment looks comfortable to live in.

For a while Erik was just silent while holding his hands to see Ayumi who was sitting on the bed, he then walked to the refrigerator one door to pick up the apple, and then walked to the freezer one door to pick up the apple, cut it into small pieces that it arranges on a small plate.

"Kevin asked me to take care of you, he had to leave because there was important business" Erik said as he walked up to Ayumi, "Do you expect Kevin to take care of you?" Erik continued while sitting in Ayumi's study chair.

"No, I'm used to living alone so I don't expect anyone to take care of me." Ayumi answered while taking the medicine that Erik handed her and frowned when she saw some medicinal tablets that she had to take, without asking much she immediately drank it.

Erik looked at Ayumi for a moment before he finally opened his voice, "But would you be happier if Kevin took care of you?"

Hearing the question made Ayumi look at Erik who looked serious even though his face looked flat with no expression, for a while there was only silence between the two of them, until finally Ayumi shrugged her shoulders while looking forward with a blank look.

"Let's know, maybe Kevin won't accuse me or judge me like you did."

Erik seems stiff to hear Ayumi's answer, but it's time he can't dodge again to solve a problem that has been delayed long enough.

"Is it time you asked, do I like to take men into my apartment? Or are you gonna ask me if I've been with a guy all night when I'm sick?" Ayumi asked as she looked at Erik with a look of injured eyes.

Erik just silently looked at Ayumi who was staring at him waiting for a response.

"Isn't it too late? Did you know that one college campus was making fun of me because of that afternoon?" Erik was surprised to hear Ayumi's words, so far no one had dared to bring up the matter in the back garden in front of him, maybe because he is a lecturer but different from Ayumi who is just a student and should he realize that.

"Who did that to you?" Erik said furiously, hearing Erik's tone of voice full of anger made Ayumi a little surprised, but he was quickly able to control himself so that he returned to normal.

"Now that it's not important, it's too late.I can handle it myself." Ayumi said as she played her fingers on the blanket that wrapped her tiny body.

"I've always tried to speak up and apologize to you, but you've always avoided me."

"I? Avoiding you?" Ayumi exclaimed with angry eyes, "You always come to the cafe but just to order food, did you ever accidentally meet me there?" Tanya Ayumi was still full of anger as she looked at Erik who was sitting speechless.

"At college have you ever tried to get close to me? You just stare from a distance. Yes, I know you're always watching me but do you expect me to come first to beg your apology?"

Erik could only speak a thousand languages because everything the girl said was true, he now looked like a coward and for the first time he did not dwell in front of a woman. The room was silent again, Erik did not know what to say or rather where he should start.

"It's over" said Ayumi breaking the silence while fixing her pillow and preparing for sleep.

"I think the cure has reacted I started to cough, you better go home to rest thanks for taking care of me." Ayumi looked at Erik who was still sitting quietly on his study chair.

"Don't worry I'll tell Kevin that you've taken care of me so well, didn't you take care of me because Kevin told you to? So you don't have to worry," continued Ayumi, laying down her body and sleeping on her back to Erik.

For a while Erik just stared at Ayumi's back which looked very fragile, wanting to feel like he hugged the body and provided protection.

"I'm sorry, I know I was wrong. You can say I'm a coward or anything, but I'm afraid that when I talk to you, I'm going to break your heart again, I'm afraid I can't control my sharp mouth." Erik breathed heavily while standing up and sat down on the edge of Ayumi's bed, still motionless.

"I was wrong, for a moment when I saw you fall asleep under a tree I forgot where we were at that time, even I forgot that I was with my students, all I wanted to do at that moment was run towards you and give you comfort." Ayumi was still silent and unmoved at Erik's words.

"I have no right to defend myself in front of you, it is all my fault. When I saw your eyes hurt by my words that afternoon, I felt the same hurt and in my heart I cursed my own speech and stupidity for not directly chasing you and apologizing to you." Erik took a deep breath and threw it away slowly before continuing his words.

"That morning I deliberately came to the cafe to meet and apologize to you, but what I saw there was you in another man's arms and it made my anger reappear, I left without saying anything," Erik said weakly.

"But I finally found out that the man was just someone you were trying to help, John told me that afternoon when I went back to the cafe and Kevin introduced himself as the new waiter there." Erik recalls that afternoon he returned to the cafe only to confirm Ayumi's relationship with the man who hugged him, and John explained all the misunderstandings to him.

"The next time I go back to the cafe, I see you there but it's too late for you to start avoiding me, I always hope that you come to my service but you always ask others to do that."

"It's all my fault, I should have come to you straight away and apologized but for the first time I didn't know what to say to a woman. Until you finally get away," said Erik slowly.

"You know, these few days I've been tormented because you've always been avoiding me, I kind of lost my way and I know it's all my fault for hurting you. I beg you to forgive me," erik said softly, slowly he laid his body beside Ayumi and then hugged the frail body of the girl who just stiffened under his arms indicating that Ayumi had not fallen asleep.

"Yell, tell me that if you're angry with me, don't torture me by avoiding me and ignoring myself because it hurts me more," continued Erik while putting his cheek on top of the head of Ayumi who was still silent.

"Once again I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just couldn't imagine you falling asleep on another man's lap." Erik took a deep breath before resuming his words.

"You need to know that I'm so selfish, I don't want to share you with anyone, I just want you to be mine, because I like you, Ayumi."

Erik can feel Ayumi's body stiffening again even he can hear the sound of the girl's heart beating fast, he secretly smiled because he knew it was not only him who felt the pounding of his chest.

"It wasn't Kevin who told me to take care of you but I'm the one who kicked that guy out of here, because only I'll take care of you when you're sick, only I'll be your back when you're tired, only I will wipe away your tears, for I am the only one who loves you so much."

Erik kissed Ayumi's head gently and tightened his arms until he finally closed his eyes and for the first time he could smile peacefully with a girl he loved in his arms that he did not know now he is smiling gently though with tears slowly rolling in his eyes.

***