Black Swan's

The Diary of Eden

            One night I woke up with a cry that just broke out of my eyes. Kulrikik Ciara at a glance who was sleeping soundly while putting his tiny finger into his mouth. God, why does this feel so hard to get through. It even feels like I want to give up right now and go back to Vegas. Sometimes I feel like this life is actually killing me slowly. When I began to be happy with my married life with Zyan, God took the man from my life, forever. Though I have started to open my heart to Zyan, I have forgotten my club's past slowly and I have really been made convinced by Zyan's sincerity all along. But.well that's it, life is unpredictable and full of surprises. Then I made the desperate decision to live independently with Ciara in France, a country that used to be my dream because I once aspired to be a designer. With all the confidence I have, I told Zyan's parents that I don't want to be their burden anymore. It was enough for me to destroy his son's future by marrying a woman who had become his adoptive father's own bedmate, even foolishly I also had the son of the man. But let it be, anyway right now I only have Ciara by my side. At least as I age I won't be alone. So in the end I decided to get out of Zyan's family life, even though Zyan's mother initially forbade me to leave because Ciara was not even a year old, but I still insisted on leaving. I felt that there was no point in living with them anymore, other than that since Zyan was dead, there was no longer a bond that would keep us together. After all Ciara was also not their grandchild, even though they claimed to have regarded Ciara as their own grandchild, but my little heart still accused them of lying. I know, every night they talk about me, behind me and Zyan of course. Once upon a time when I woke up in the middle of the night to fetch water in the kitchen, I heard old man Zyan was talking alone in the living room. They are of course talking about the fate of his son's uncertain future. When in front of me they showed me the face of such a good angel, while behind me, they openly showed dislike for me. But at that time I was still trying to defend and understand their situation because after all they were not wrong, I was the one who was wrong for having involved their son to be my pawn in attacking Aciel. Then all the prickly shoes are getting worse as Ciara's age gets bigger. Even then mother directly called Zyan to speak four eyes. Mother urged Zyan to be firm with me immediately. As a mother, she has a very good instinct about her son. Mom knew that Zyan had never touched me and still gave me a chance to heal my past wounds. After that conversation, I then stayed silent for a long time in the room while looking at Ciara who was busy moving cutely in her baby box. My daughter is very similar to Aciel, how did Zyan feel about cradling Ciara or holding Ciara when my daughter was fussy? He must have been very sick, seeing that his wife had children from other men, even his heart was still owned by other men. Should I ask Zyan for a farewell? But. I won't bear to.

saying that to Zyan, he was even desperately trying to maintain our domestic relationship. Then what should I do to keep this family from falling apart just because of my presence?

            For a moment of contemplation, I suddenly heard the sound of a roaring car engine

slow down on the front page. Zyan seemed to be going to the office, and he did not say goodbye to me like the days before. My hunch is that his conversation with my mother did not go well, so he must be currently covered in anger that is quite concentrated, so he does not want to meet me in a state of chaos. I then closed the window of my room tightly, walking towards Ciara while shaking the hanging toy attached to the box so that my daughter laughed even more with the sound of her baby. My God, even Ciara has brown eyes like those of the bad guy. Until I never seem to calm down from the shadow of an Aciel.

            Before long I felt the floor of my room tremble, someone like I was running so hurriedly in front of my hallway that I could feel the vibrations clearly. And then the door of my room was knocked on with a voice so rude from the outside that I felt quite riled up for a moment because the knocker who was actually Zyan's mother seemed to be very disturbing the calm that was trying I created this morning. But the frustration did not last long, in an instant my world seemed to be collapsing, and I was only able to hold on to the edge of the door while lamenting my fate which once again did not go well. Zyan had an accident, his car rolled over on the asphalt after being hit by a truck, and Zyanku did not survive. Zyan left me alone in a world that was always cruel to me. Instantly I fell down and was only able to cry over the misfortune that befell my life. Back then even I was confused, did I cry because Zyan left or did I cry because I had lost my precious pawn? What is clear is that the days after Zyan's departure have not been easy for me. I feel that Zyan's family is showing more of his true attitude towards me. They were no longer as warm as they used to be, I felt that there was a change in their attitude even though in his daily life Zyan's parents still considered me as their son-in-law. But their warmth really changed, and sometimes they showed a reluctance to take care of Ciara when I was about to go out to take care of my father's assets that I was going to sell. So I had to take Ciara with me to go to the law offices or go anywhere when I was required to take care of the administration of the transfer of my father's assets. It was actually an initial anticipation for Aciel to be unable to track me down. Aciel was actually still watching my movements with the assets because the assets were in his hands before, but after I decided to get out of his house, he without a direct fight gave the assets to me through the help of his lawyers. But a few months ago I found out that Aciel was still monitoring the movement of my assets. He may have started to falter with his decision to let me go after I had clearly also hurt his ego. I then bribed his lawyers a little so as not to reveal my plans to sell all of my father's assets and my plans to leave Vegas. I thought I was at the lowest point of my life, so I decided to leave this country so I could start my life from scratch. I will forget all my memories with all those men, especially Aciel and Zyan. They are a strange combination actually, Aciel is an evil demon figure full of dictatorship, whereas Zyan, is a, he was like an angel who wanted to save me from the evil demon who had claimed my life as his own.

            So here I am now, Paris, a city full of fashion houses and also famous designers whose work has always managed to amaze me. I mean I want to be like them, I want to leave the catwalk world to become a famous designer. But again, it's not all that easy. There are many things I have to sacrifice to achieve all that, including the life of Ciara who is threatened to get further with me because I have to take designer studies at one of the top universities in this city. Ciara. I'm sorry for bringing you to a mommy life full of problems.

            I clasped Ciara's tiny fingers while normalizing the sound of my whimpering that sounded so loud inside my silent apartment. Lord, how many tears must I shed to weep over my life which has always been filled with unforeseen trials? I

tired, I really want to end it all if I don't remember Ciara who currently needs me the most. I definitely wouldn't be that hard, leaving Ciara growing up alone in this cruel world just like me. Even I always swore in my heart that my grandchildren could never feel life in an orphanage. Enough of me to feel it, the rest of me do not allow my descendants to have the same fate unfortunately with me. But maybe this is the destiny I have to go through. A little

my experience in the orphanage made me grow up to be a tough woman who did not despair easily, at least that was before I felt so bad and weak.

Brakkk brakkk

            I shivered in fear as the rough rumbling again stopped at the door of my apartment. One of the worst things I have to accept during my life as a single parent, I have to get used to such minor annoyances. The drunken men who make a fuss in front of the apartment, the whistling sounds on the side of the road from the brandal men, or the blatant invitation to date, I got it several times in this city. Maybe they know if I don't have a boyfriend or a man who can protect me so they can interfere with my life freely. But for the door knocker who doesn't

politely, I will immediately report it to the apartment owner or even sue his management because they make me uncomfortable living here. I was actually planning to buy my own house, only that I was still too scared. Anyhow living in a private house would be risky because the guards did not always keep watch twenty-four hours in front of my house, while here I can still contact the security guard standing guard below or contact the receptionist if I need their help. So for a while I'd rather stay here than buy a private house to live with Ciara.

            “Haahh..”

            I took a slow breath, then I got out of bed to make hot chocolate in the kitchen. I seem to have to calm my chaotic self if I want to continue my deep sleep again. But before my feet really reached the door, my phone suddenly shook. A message from Tranz attracted me to immediately grab my phone and read the contents of the message. Maybe he wants to tell me something. I don't know, she's been offering me up lately to be a model again, but I always turned her down because being a model would only make me an Aciel doll again. It would be easier to watch my movements, and then my code of a happy life with Zyan would break down instantly. Nah! That must not happen, Aciel must not know if my life actually suffered more after I decided to break away from it.

To: Tranz

Eden, are you sure about your decision to leave? You don't want to go back to Vegas and make up with Aciel? I saw him go crazy today at the bar.

            Tranz sent me a complete message with a picture of Aciel fighting with someone. Again a heavy sigh came out of my mouth as I read the contents of Tranz's message. Didn't I tell her a hundred times that I didn't want to go back to Aciel? I’m done wih him! I no longer wanted to deal with him, although actually part of my heart screamed to come back. I knew that whenever Aciel would accept me, but I just wasn't prepared with all the bad imagery that would definitely follow me if I came back with Aciel.

To: Tranz

            Write me rough before I throw the origin of my phone towards the sofa near my bed. Aciel would have been better off dead, and his spirit would have suffered in hell because of all his evil deeds. Yeah, it'd be a lot better for him.

Drrt drrt drrt

            “Ck, let alone that?” grunting's upset. Is Tranz still trying to contact me after I blatantly reply to his message with a pretty rough content?

            “What's up, you..”

           “Haai... Ed's? You... hahahaa.. You still keep my number?”

            Shit, it's Aciel! I fell silent rigidly in place without daring to let out my loud voice again. Why did he find my phone number? And he's drunk right now. Oh my God, why is that guy such a disturbing ghost.

            “I know you.. hhmmsss... still there.” the noise with a disjointed voice. To be honest I wanted to turn off the phone connection from him, but my fingers went numb just to press the red button on my phone screen. Eden! why are you still so stupid after what that guy's been doing to you. Stupid stupid fool, you *****!

            “Heyy.. hmmss.. Ed, you. hahh... come back to me.”.

            My grip on my phone grew tighter along with the sound of Aciel's chattering that sounded like a sickle across the street. That guy must have been trying to manipulate me, he must have never really said that to me.

            “My answer.. I.. hmssss know you listen to me... there..”.

            “Nothing I need to answer.” I finally ventured to voice my voice which had been stuck in my heart since then. My heart suddenly churned and my feelings of course had turned chaotic. Why has this feeling never gone away for her?

            “I know where you are now... hahahaa... I just... don't... don't want to bother you, not yet.” said Aciel with a horrible-sounding laugh. Suddenly I felt like I was being watched in my own apartment. With a timid step I walked towards the large window in my room and started

peek at it with a feeling of anxiety. There's no one out there, street lights are illuminating the streets very brightly down there with nothing to worry about. Hahaha.this man must be a lie, this mentally ill man cannot possibly know where I am.

            “Keep hiding Eden.. hahaha keep hiding, hhmmss. You will definitely return to my arms again. hahahhaa”.

Clique

            My body trembled violently and suddenly I had just decayed on the floor. That man can't be my shadow anymore, can't be! If he dares to disturb my composure again, I swear I will make him suffer even more at my hands.