Black Blue

Episede 4's

I wiped the tears with the back of my hand. Afraid that if anyone saw, they would think that I was forced to do this marriage, even though it was me who agreed.

I'm afraid my parents' names will get worse if I see tears on my wedding day.

I saw in the corner there was a pair of eyes that kept paying attention. I hope Leon doesn't notice these tears.

"Alright, we start now yes," said Mr. Penghulu.

Mr. Penghulu guided the speech of the Father and asked the Father to shake the hand of Leon.

My concern is to go back to exploring wild, I imagine the face of Randy who was welcoming the hand of the Father.

I shook my head and smiled bitterly, why do I have to be like this?

"Are you ready, Ibrahim?" ask penghulu.

"Insha Allah. Ready sir," replied the Father firmly.

"Son Leon ready?" The gentleman asked Leon. And Leon just nodded. His face looks so tense.

"Bismilahbornrohmannirrohim, please shake hands with each other son Leon, sir Ibrahim."

Mr and Mr. Leon shook hands with each other and before the father spoke, Leon turned his face to me. As if asking for the last time, would I marry her.

I bowed my face, gave her the code 'yes. I saw his face smiling stiffly and staring at my face.

"Leon Zack Mc.Kanzee, I marry you to my biological son, Shena Zein Assegaf bint Ibrahim Assegaf, with a gold dowry of 9 grams, paid in cash."

"I received the marriage and marriage of Shena Zein Assegaf bint Ibrahim Assegaf with a gold dowry of 9 grams paid in cash." With one breath.

"How's witness? Right?"

"Bech ...." There was a boisterous sound in the mosque and the chanting of prayers recited by Mr. Penghulu sounded sacred in my ears, we all raised our hands, finished the do'a recited by Mr. Penghulu.

Somehow there are no more chaotic feelings after this ijab is finished. The chaotic and restless feeling that I felt all disappeared instantly.

I'm not happy, but I don't feel sad either. Yes, I sincerely accepted Leon as my husband.

Leon and I apologized to Mom and Dad. My cry broke when I apologized to you. Can not feel if I have to leave the Father who has been like my best friend.

I always tell you anything, why I often sit in the post of the Father, yes because I like to confide in anything to the Father because the Father can make me more calm.

Since you are a man, I think you will understand how other men behave. Moreover, you have eaten a lot of salt acid, surely the Father knows better which is good for me.

I was a little calmer when you agreed I would marry Leon instead of Randy. Because according to you, Leon was a responsible child. But that was before, after five years had passed his attitude could have changed.

After the same sungkem both parents.

We welcome one by one the guests present. It is not so crowded, because the reception will be held tomorrow. We also still go home, said tente Ranti to be special, because the event is not yet finished. Yes it's up to Aunt Ranti, after all she prepares everything too.

***

I looked at this face from the glass of the room. Not very special, I am beautiful. But there must be a lot prettier out there. I'm still confused as to what makes Leon's mas steady makes me a wife.

"Assalamualaik." There was the sound of a man knocking on the front door of my house.

I'm so familiar with this voice, it's Randy's voice. I opened the window curtain and peeked out. Sure enough, I found Randy standing at the door.

"Sir." Mother's voice surprised me.

I opened the door immediately, and saw Mother's still confused face.

"What's up, Nduk. Is there anything unfinished between you and Randy?" ask me confused.

"No, Ma. Randy and I have no business anymore."

"That's right, Nduk. So what business did he come here for? You realize you're married now?"

"Yes, Mom. I know," I replied, looking down.

"What if your husband finds out? And the neighbors are also on the look, there's your ex coming up these nights?"

"Shena, don't know, Mom. Shena really doesn't know why she came?"

"You still love her?"

I looked up at Mom's question, I nodded my head slowly.

"Don't you not break up with her yet?"

"No, Ma. I have no relationship with Randy anymore. Even from before Leon proposed to me first," I explained, so that Mother does not misunderstand.

"really that? You're not lying, are you, Shena?" ask me to convince you again.

"So ma'am, I broke up before Leon proposed to me, ma'am," I explained once more.

"Better you also waste your love for him, you should love your husband only, yes."

"Yes, ma'am" I replied.

"Just let Mom and Dad talk to her, you're in the room."

I nodded, letting Mom go.

I'm sorry Ran, I can't see you even though I really want to.

I don't know if it's your fault or mine. Maybe there is nothing wrong, maybe our love should end this way.

Thank you for the five years you've given me.

Even though it's not all about love, I'm still grateful for the wounds you've cut. Because of you I learned a lot, because of you I know a lot of things. Thank you, Randy.

Shortly after, I heard footsteps moving away from the house, I opened a little window curtain and saw the man's back passing further and further out of sight.

I don't feel these tears starting to come down. And my cry broke as the man's back disappeared from view.

Both legs are squeezing, it's over our dream to reach for the future of both Randy. I belong to another man now.

I clutched my legs and hid my face on my legs. The feeling of tightness that had been enveloping the heart seemed unstoppable again.

The cries deepened as the memories of the old stories one by one appeared in my memories. Beautiful stories about living alone with Randy, just a story.

Beautiful stories in school, just a beautiful parcel of sleep delivery. The sincere promise that was once said from Randy's lips was just a figure of speech.

What a force of fate is not writing both of us names in one book, Randy. Our paths are not the same, we have been on the same path, but we are separated on the road. Someone has come to pick me up at this intersection, but it's not you.

If I had held back even more about this story, it might have ended up being different. Or maybe the end of this story will remain the same, because if it wasn't me, it would be fate that would separate us. Because not about matters of the heart, but problems of the soul mate.

I'm not a match for you, no matter how much I cry, destiny won't change. Nothing will ever change from the end of our story. Because I wasn't meant to be your rib.

I'm not your ribcage. I've found the missing piece of my ribs and it's someone else. I hope you also find the part of your ribcage that Randy lost. May you be happy without me.

The ringing of the phone made me feel this sadness, I grabbed it and stared at the screen.

Mas Leon sent me a sleep-sending message with love emotes.

[Good sleep, Shena. May you be happy to marry me.]

I don't know why the message seemed to wipe away my tears. I lay my body on the bed and closed my eyes.

The memories came back when I closed my eyes. It is not easy to forget the past. Moreover, he has completed the story of my life for several years. My eyes are back to the clear liquid.

I went back to wiping and calming my mind, tomorrow is my wedding reception, not good if my eyes are puffy. Later Mom and Dad even more suspect.

***

Prepare to go to the reception location that is already crowded with workers from EO. I immediately entered the dressing room and wore a Baby blue dress.

The recipe was held in a park near the aunt Ranti housing complex. Because the show is not too luxurious, so aunt Ranti took the concept of Outdoor.

When my schoolmates came, their eyes were wide. Many were surprised by my husband, how could I date Randy and marry someone else.

"I think the name on the invitation was wrong, uh apparently the bride was different" whispered one of my close friends at High School.

I just nodded and smiled gently.

What else I want to say, is so. Not a few friends mocked me, they said I was good at looking for more of everything than Randy.

But physicality does not determine happiness. It would be hypocritical if I said I wasn't interested in Leon. Obviously from the start, I was a little tempted by his looks.

The atmosphere was silent for a moment, after I saw Randy appear before me. His face looked chaotic, his plight seemed extremely pitiful.

"Yeah, you," the words that came out of Randy's mouth as he shook hands with me.

I just smiled bitterly at his words. My could? Not particularly. If he and I hadn't broken up that night, I probably wouldn't have met Leon.

But come on, I can't lament over this situation, I must rise and must be able to smile in the face of this reality.

But doing is not as easy as talking, still I am not able to stem my tears anymore, I cry as it happens.

Slowly my sobs exploded, I grabbed the sturdy body of Leon who was beside me and hid the face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Mas .. I'm sorry." I was crying deeply.

"Cry as much as you, I don't matter."

"I'm sorry I couldn't hold back my emotions." The more I cry the deeper I hide the face in his chest.

"It's .. Don't hold it anymore, let it go."

I don't know what to do after this, all the guests must have seen this. Mas Leon patiently rubbed a soft swab of my head. Her gentle and warm attitude made me feel even more guilty.

"Mas, aren't you mad at me?"

"No, I won't be angry. But you should smile after this."

Leon stroked my shoulders, trying to calm the crying.

After a long while my cries began to subside, I looked at Leon's face, sad.

He wiped both my cheeks and wiped away the rest of my tears.

He took my hand and kissed her gently.

"Calm ... Shen, calm yourself."

Seeing the attitude of Leon who was still so warm after what I had made, made me re-leash tears.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I hurt you."

"No, you didn't hurt me, smile."

I grinned bitterly looking at her, before long I laughed wide at the expression of her trying to follow my expression.

He can be so calm about me like this. It is very good at cooling the atmosphere.

I pinched his arm, he just kept mocking my expression. His eyes narrowed and his lips grinned withstanding the pain. I laughed again at his exaggerated expression.

"Is my face so ugly, huh? Until you keep taunting?" my question, a little upset.

"Not really, you're beautiful. Still look pretty anyway."

"Gombal." I again pinched his arm. And he again showed an expression like that. It made my laughter break again and this time it was a little broken.

"Sssssttt .. The guests saw us." Leon put one finger in front of his thin lips.

I nodded and was embarrassed. He is smart to change the sad atmosphere into cheerful for a moment. I felt like I could forget the pain so easily.

Unlike Randy who makes the atmosphere more runyam if there is a problem, I always give up. I was always trying to melt the mood.

Never mind, it's not good if I keep comparing my husband with others. I will continue to sin if it is like this. I'd better try to forget all about him.

I took Leon's hand and kissed the back of his hand with reverence.

As I said in my heart 'I'm sorry, Mas. I will try to forget Randy and learn to accept you. I promise.'

I felt a soft touch on my head.

"What's this about? Like a kid going to school?"

"Iss, it's not, Mas."

"So what?" He raised his eyebrows.

"From yesterday I haven't kissed your hand, instead you kissed my hand first. I'm sorry, Mom," I said embarrassedly.

He just smiled and got a beard, grabbed my cheeks and kissed me gently on my forehead. I was surprised and pushed his chest slowly. I saw his face that looked disappointed.

"I'm sorry, I .. I don't mean to reject you, Mas" I said guilty.

"No problem." He smiled bitterly.

I must have hurt her feelings by now. Why me is this? He always tried to keep my feelings in check but I hurt his feelings. I'm sorry, mas.

***

After the reception, we went home by ourselves. The house is not too luxurious, the house is also not too spacious, but looks comfortable and also calm. Many trees grow in the small garden of Leon's house.

"Let's go in Shen, sorry, the house is small, because I can only buy this house."

"It's okay, Mom. That's enough too."

Leon opened the door and we stepped inside. I felt a warm atmosphere that greeted my heart.

The stuff is very neat and clean. All dominant with white. In line with the color of the house paint that is all white and some black tutoring in certain parts.

The house depicts like a character mas Leon who does not have much behavior. His carrying was calm and relaxed, his tone was gentle, his attitude was always warm.

"You, if you want to take a break straight to the room, I'll take a shower first."

"Good, Mas."

I walked over to the gray ceramic floor. I looked around the house, it was comfortable and very quiet. I opened the door and entered slowly.

The room is not too spacious, but looks very comfortable because the items are arranged very neatly. I lay my body on the bed with a black sheet, fatigue began to feel up to the tip of the nail.

The sound of the door opening. Mas Leon came in with a white T-shirt and wet hair.

Oh my God, I was once again adrift by that man's handsome face. Still can't I tell a guy as cool as him is my husband?

My heart beat faster as Leon walked closer.

Is Leon gonna ask me to do it now?