Black Blue

Episode 11

POV Leon

I saw the clock in my hand showing at seven o'clock in the night. I walked up the stairs of this seminar building, very late to go home.

I still have to take care of the seminar on my wedding leave. Riany's bottom line, for the sake of her date I have to sacrifice my last day of leave.

I speed my car quickly through the crowded city at night, Kasian Shena should I stay alone at home. I parked my car right next to my house.

I opened the door and saw Shena's face coming out of the room. It looks soft and glowing.

"Eat already?" ask her.

He just shook his head, and bowed his head. Oh my God why he teases me so much. I wanted to take her out, but my body was too tired because of this activity.

"I'm a little tired, I'll just order some food."

His facial expression instantly turned sullen, eh what's wrong with him? Is there something wrong with my words.

"Just eat, I'm not hungry." His face looks upset, he goes straight into the room.

What's with him? I'm just tired, I can't even cook for her. Is he sulking at me.

I just scratched my head and opened my laptop. I type in some reports from the seminar, I see the atmosphere of the kitchen that is still the same as when I lived, even the cake pan is still located on the pantry.

What have my women been doing all day?

Substantial...

I smiled to myself not knowing what to think, not even he cooked for himself.

I stepped into the kitchen and I opened the fridge, I poured myself a glass of water and I cut my woman's cake.

It doesn't feel bad, maybe he is indeed talented in this field.

I went back to the dining table to continue making reports. I stretch my body to drive this tired, it's eleven o'clock at night, do my women fall asleep on an empty stomach?

I made sure he was in his room, sure enough he was asleep. That innocent face of hers always made me weak, why can she always make my heart so weak?

I kissed her forehead and I pulled out a little blanket, sometimes like a child.

I went to the bathroom to clean up and went to bed.

Morning time. I see next to my bed no one else, where did he go so early in the morning?

I do my job as a Muslim. After the prayer I heard a lot of noise going on in the kitchen.

What is my woman doing?

I saw him busy in the kitchen, funny to see him being overwhelmed like that.

"Your buds are busy in the kitchen early in the morning, Shen?" I saw him cooking that was surprised.

"Switchiness?" I teased him.

Back the hue of his face that wanted to smile was even conical.

I laughed in my heart, and every day there was something he made to comfort me.

I continued to write the seminar results report last night. I saw him who was busy pacing back and forth offering me something. She is trying to be a good wife?

There is no need to go like this and I will still love him.

He came back to my place and asked me about the cake I ate last night.

"What if you get sick, Mom?"

His question it makes me happy half dead, he's paying attention to me, is it not wrong?

"You eat anyway, that's a slam."

"It was my wife's first meal, I'll take it first no matter what the outcome" I replied seriously.

There was a red hue on her cheek, like she wanted to smile yet she tried to cover it up.

Again, all of his actions stunned me.

I left after I gave her one of my ATM cards. Plain as it is, even he asked me why I gave the card that was always in the girls' pursuit.

He was different, which is why I chose him.

***

Afternoon. All day long I was only imagined by his face, his face that always gave a special impression in my heart. I smiled to myself, imagining someone would welcome me when I came home.

What makes my heart pound is that because that woman is Shena, maybe I wouldn't be this kind of spirit if the woman wasn't her.

I opened my car door and then quickly left the hospital parking lot. I remember this time he was at his parents' house, I quickly turned back my car, I called him to make sure he was still there.

Not long after I arrived at his house, I saw you were busy relaxing to enjoy the beauty of the afternoon sky.

"Assalamualaikum sir." Sapaku as I enter.

"Waalaikum greetings, uh son Leon please sit."

I just smiled and followed his orders, I did get along with you first, but now I'm even awkward with him because of the position he is now my in-laws.

"Just home?" tanyakanya.

"Yes sir." I replied stiffly.

"Where? It's good to get married?" ask him with a little lip.

I just nodded in shame, somehow embarrassed, either stiff.

His laughter came off after seeing my gurgle. You're a funny guy, but now I don't know how to behave with him.

Even my heart beat faster than having to propose to Shena first.

I, who was not used to telling someone, how to deal with a situation like this.

"Don't be tense, son, those days are over. Relax" he said, patting my arm.

He brought his face closer to mine, excited him who occasionally looked inside like there was a secret he wanted to convey.

"The time when you and Shena will give grandchildren to you" she replied in a whisper.

I who heard it immediately laughed and scratched my head which was actually not itchy.

I shook my head at the words of this old man, unchanged after five years.

"How come you're here anyway?" shena asked who had just come out of the house.

"Well, why is he here, this is also his house."

I saw the face of Shena who was a little confused, plus the answer from the original father. It's fair that my woman is so innocent, her family is so warm, she gets everything in this house.

Obviously at his current age he should understand how the outside world is, but with his innocence he is just like a child who must be protected.

"Son Leon, let's have dinner first." take her mother who is no less gentle with Shena.

Now that I really understand, why I could so easily ask my woman to her parents. It was because my woman grew up with all the warmth that made her always look attractive to me, I who had never felt the warmth of love was like being drawn closer to her.

Like a magnet pulling me closer, I wish I could feel that warmth from this family.

I accepted my mother-in-law's offer and entered their modest home, but here the atmosphere was very different. The atmosphere that I never felt anywhere, even in the house of Aunt Ranti though.

I was stunned when I saw the food menu on the table. It was not the food that kept me fixated, but the atmosphere, which took my mind far back a dozen years ago.

A sight I've forgotten for a dozen years. I never wanted to remember it even for a second, too deep a wound ever etched into those memories. I couldn't open the wound for even a second.

Noiselessly, without flinching, I realized that this clear grain was beginning to scour my cheeks. Mother's voice of command made me aware and moved from this attitude.

I pulled out a chair and sat down next to Shena. I looked again at the contents of the table, all the dishes reminded me of mama, papa and him. The woman who always tried to revive me, but made me lose my identity. The woman I always lived the desire, but made me forget the desire.

I tried to make life look like it, but I forgot about my life. A woman who even for a second I don't want to remember anymore. Not because he hurt me too deeply, but because I made his memories as a wound in my heart.

I ate these rice grains deliciously, I enjoyed every mouthful of it. Not only the taste, but also the memories contained in it. I saw the twins fighting at the dinner table. Similar to me, I was ten or eleven years old, I was always cheerful and made a noise.

After dinner, we got permission to go home. I saw my woman who hugged both her parents and her twin sister tightly.

I drove my black car quickly, coming home from Shena's parents' house. I was just trying to forget about the past sequence of events from my life, the more I wanted to forget the brighter the memory came back.

I opened the door and I walked straight into the bathroom. I let my face be doused by this water. Wishing this stream of water could carry away all my bad memories. I can never forget these memories, the more I try to forget then the whole series of dark events are seen. Until it was able to erase all the good memories that the woman had engraved in my memory.

I opened the door, I saw Shena who had been sitting on the lip of the bed. It seemed like she had indeed been waiting for that moment, a moment where I always asked her to dry my hair.

Hehhm, I shook my head, how could I forget that woman, if I first fell in love with Shena because I saw that woman in her.

I always present the figure of the woman in my life, I who never let go of her shadow. Until I made another woman to replace her.

Look, I've replaced you with another woman, and that woman is definitely better than you. He brought back the light you dimmed in my life. He saved me from the cursed memory of you, so let's start tonight.

I will take your shadow from inside me. I just want to feel it one more time, before I lose it forever. I want to feel it one more time, please just this once, then go as far as possible. Leave me here without any more memories of you, Sera.

I walked closer to Shena's side, I put my head inside her lap. I feel the soft caress of Shena in my head.

I'm sorry, my lady. I made your lap to let go of all my longing for Sera. Maybe if you knew, you'd get hurt.

This is the first and last time, I borrowed your lap for Sera. To feel the warmth of Sera's hands, just this once, I beg your pardon, your husband.

I buried my head on Shena's lap, patiently drying my hair. After a while his hands started to stop, in stroking my head very gently.

Instantly, my memory goes back to that time. Where is Sera patiently drying my hair. With that chirp, but he never ignored me. I remember that time, the time when Sera always spoiled me like this, she always ruffled my hair that I thought was cool. It always makes me angry, only to Sera I can show all my side.

Only to Sera can I see my weakness, I miss you Sera. I miss you so much, please come back to me, even once, even if only for a second.

"Mas... are you sleeping?" shena's voice broke my past memories. For a moment I forgot who I was in whose lap.

"Mas, let's move to the bed." He stroked my shoulder.

But I hugged both her calves tightly. Not now I want to be in a minute. Please don't end this. Not yet, I haven't had the chance to feel my longing is over.

"Don't... Please let me be like this." I'm trying to stay like this.

I saw the shadow of Sera who had been present and faded, I had returned to this world, but I didn't even have time to embrace her anymore.

The more I held my arms and slowly my tears could no longer hold.

Cengang. I'm a man why this cry?

"Mas."Call him softly.

"Just a second. I'm begging you for a second." I'm sticking my face in his lap.

Shena, I'm sorry but please this time. Let me feel the Sera present in you. This time do not realize that I will be you.

I'm sorry Shena, just this once please don't call me again.

"Why are you?" tanyanya, her tone sounded worried.

"I miss her so much. I miss it."

"Let me be like this, I want to feel it again, I miss it, I miss it so much."

"Hindu? miss who you are?" He asked back in a cautious tone.

"Sera." I'm shrinking.

"Louissera." call me.

For a moment I was silent, what I was doing, I accidentally mentioned Sera's name. Oh what will my woman think now?

I got too deep into my past memories until I wanted to replace Shena with Sera.

I am too stupid, what I have done, even to raise my head I do not dare. How am I supposed to stare at my woman's face now?

He'll definitely misunderstand me, I'm not ready to explain anything about this state.

Sorry Shena, I'm sorry. That's all I can say, and that's all in my heart.