Black Blue

Episode 35's

A week in hospital, I was finally allowed to go home. But I chose to go home to me. The place where I spent time with Leon. Indeed, Mother and Father did not allow me to live alone, especially with my weak situation like this. After a long argument with Mom, I finally collapsed as well.

So Mom and Dad let me go back to this house on the condition that Shima and Shine will stay with me here.

It's up to you, I just want to go back to this house. At least I can still smell the scent of Leon's mas in this house. That's the only thing that could possibly keep me afloat.

A week had passed since the earthquake, but I had no news from Leon. What am I supposed to do? my womb wasn't strong enough to catch up with him there. Where he is now I don't know either. You just disappeared.

I slowly opened the door of this house, only one inch I stepped, but a thousand shadows had appeared in my view. The fragrance of this room, the living room sofa, and some of your photo frames are displayed on the white wall. It all reminds me of the last time we left this house.

You kissed me and said to stay faithful waiting for you to come home.

I've gone home, and where are you?

We left this house together, then why am I the only one back.

Back this clear circle crossed my cab cheeks. I'm tracking the house's grey ceramic floor. I touch every item that Leon always holds first.

Books about cardiology, a small library where Leon mas often spend time on vacation. A small bench in front of the bookshelf that always witnesses how often Leon greets them. Now the books here have been decorated with thick dust, this house I have lived in almost half a month.

But why does Leon's body smell still sting in my nose. I sat on that little bench, and all the cries I was crying overflowed, the shadow of Leon was always present in every corner of this house.

I walked into my room, I saw the usual dining room crowded with our laughter, now deserted like uninhabited. I saw the usual kitchen warm and fragrant Leon mas cuisine is now very cold.

There, the place where Leon used to tease me the most. The usual place Leon put the things he used to want to give me. I saw the back of Leon's body cooking in my view.

For the umpteenth time my cry broke again, I saw her reflection everywhere. Maybe this is what kept Mom and Dad from letting me come back here. There must be a lot of sadness I feel. But this is what makes me able to survive, the shadow of Leon who is still warm I feel. It's all here, all the memories that keep me alive. Even though I only live in his shadow.

I opened the door to my room, and I don't know how many memories are present in this room. This is the place that holds our memories the most, my tears, Leon's tears dripping in this place. Our place to joke after being tired.

I opened my closet and still arranged a few pairs of Leon's clothes. I kissed the scent of her soft parfume that greeted my nose. Made my wish fly back to the first time he proposed to me. How I was repeatedly trapped by her charms because of this fragrance.

I swear to God, you'll have to make up for every drop of this tear if you come back later. You have to make up for it very expensively. If you come back, what if you never come back?

I lay down my body and drown my face. Even this pillow still leaves your smell. What if I have to be without you?

Am I able to take care of our own baby?

I don't know how many times I've cried so deeply like this. But these tears are only able to present the shadow of Leon. He can't bring you back here.

Your shadow always appears every time I open the door in this house. You always smile sweetly, your shadow always smiles at me. Your shadow is always mocking my tears.

I can only stand by your shadow, please come back here, my wife.

--- ---- ----

I've been cleaning up this house all day. Tired of getting into my bones, Shine and Shima's existence makes the house more colorful now.

My stomach has begun to grow because my womb is now starting to enter the 28th week.

Thank God he is fine, but every day I still often cry because of Leon who still has no news. I tried to ask the hospital, but they also lost the news of the two young Doctors.

It's been two months, and you've never given me a word. You only have one more month to return. Or not, I won't take you back.

That's why you have to come back here, because your house is here, right here.

You must not just leave your memories here, two months have passed but the smell of this room still smells you mas. Sometimes he just smelled faintly in my heart.

Your shadow still mocks me often when I open my eyes in the morning. Or the back of your body cooking breakfast. I still see it all here. I still feel warm hugging you in the cold of the night.

I'd be crazy if you didn't come back. I'd be crazy if there wasn't this baby in my belly.

I'd be crazy if you really went from my side.

I cleaned up the dust in the bedroom. For two months I cleaned things up, but it's still a mess like this. I'm actually really tired, but rather than pensive, it would make me worse off.

I opened the bottom buffet door, this buffet I've never cleaned before. Because it is rarely touched by my hand.

I found a photo album I've never seen in a while. I took a photo album whose ashes had exceeded ten inches. I cleaned it and tried to open it.

On the first sheet was a young girl, blonde, with dimples on both cheeks. The color of the eyes is as sweet and blue as Leon's.

I reopened the sheets, and again a picture of the woman in a winter hat and holding a guitar.and indeed just a photo of the girl on each sheet, with a variety of stylistic models.

On the last page, I saw a family photo. A man very similar to Leon's mas but older, a beautiful woman with a pink hijab. A young girl with a white veil and a teenage boy in a white cocoa shirt.

Is this Leon's little family? the question that came to my mind when I first saw the photo. Then this young girl is Sera?

I looked back at his photos one by one and indeed his eyes were darkening. Sera is so beautiful, with all her innocent style.

How could Leon compare to me first.

No longer heaven and earth, but like the core of the earth and space.

"Mbak." Shima's voice startled me.

"Sitting on the floor, ma'am?" tanyanya who was watching me was sitting on the floor.

"Sir, this is done again." I replied resignedly.

"Ow ... Mbak what the hell? then guess why-why how? me and Shine are done." Bavel.

"It's okay. Rather than not knowing what to do." I replied in defense.

"It's just a break. I'll settle it later. I'm going to college first."

Shima kissed the back of my hand and left.

"Eh.... Shima. Wait!" call me before he goes out the door.

"What's wrong, mbak?" ask her while walking closer.

"There's some pocket money?" I asked spontaneously, Shima just shook her head.

I felt my pocket but couldn't find what I was looking for.

"Shima, help me to stand up." I said as I stretched out my hand, since my pregnancy grew up just to get up and stand up.

Shima pulled both my hands and I walked towards my room.

"Mr. You pee?" ask Shima before I leave.

"No." I was confused.

"So that, and a mbak skirt?" She pointed at my seat earlier and my skirt took turns.

I immediately looked at my skirt and saw where I was sitting alternately. What water is that? I only realized when I felt like there was a stream of water on my thighs.

"Sir, that's amniotic fluid that's broken, huh?" shima asked, worried.

It's not time yet, why is my water breaking?

Shima quickly pulls out her phone and calls Shine.

After a long time I just relaxed the painful contractions of my stomach.

Again and again, my pregnancy continued to be problematic.