Black Blue

Episode 23

"Do you think marriage is a game? If you don't like it, can you just leave it?"

I walked up to him, I put my face up and I looked at his face. Even though Randy is tall, he's not as tall as Leon. So I don't need a tiptoe to match it.

Why am I so sick of seeing his face. This face is what I always miss. This face that I always present in my future dreams.

"Marriage is a sacred relationship, Randy. Neither you nor I can just decide." I saw Randy's face with a flat expression.

"Hemm.. You don't even know how to keep other people feeling." I shook my head and smiled cynically. I turned my body upside down, but Randy took my wrist.

"Do you think I don't know? You married her because she's only established right? Sheena... He has nothing compared to my family. I can even buy the Hospital where he works." Randy's tone sounded arrogant.

A little bit of what Randy said was true, I married Leon because I didn't want to see my family in distress. I thought if I married her then my family would be a little helped.

Why Randy knows, even Leon and my family don't know this. He used to be the closest person to me. He did penetrate my heart once, but I did not expect even now that he could still guess my heart.

"I know you only love me, even you cry bitterly on your wedding day, because of me." I turned my face away, I saw his face filled with arrogance smiling.

"Just leave him, I can give him more money. Even I can give you the love he never gave you."

I walked closer to his face, my eyes began to glaze over. There was a thickening anger in my heart when I saw his face. I can't accept he's talking like that to Leon.

It was as if he understood our lives, as if he knew how Leon felt about me. Leon is not a bad man, he is not a bad husband. I'm the wife who couldn't learn to understand it all this time.

"Even a fingernail, you won't be able to give me the love he gave me." I was upset, right in front of him.

"Love? Huh. I don't think you know what that is." My welcome.

"You.." he clenched his hand. The look of anger began to adorn his face.

"I used to think, if what I married was you instead of her. Maybe I'll be happier. But now I know, if I had married you, my life wouldn't be as happy as it is today." I smiled cynically.

"Shena, I've been looking after you for years. I never even touched you, but you betrayed me." her tone was upset.

"O ... It was not me who betrayed you, but you who repeatedly betrayed me. You did look after me, but you never took care of my heart." I wiggled one finger in front of his face.

"He can provide a sense of security, comfort and affection that I never felt when I was with you. So don't compare yourself to him. Because the more you compare, the worse you look." I turned around and quickly left.

"Shena..." I stopped my steps and turned my face slightly.

"Come back to me, I really love you so much."

"Please .. don't disgust me, even if it's just a memory of you." I spoke while turning my back on him.

I quickly walked down the path in the garden. I left him who was still glued to see me go. I used to drown at the bottom of the ocean because of your love Randy. But the one that pulled my hand and brought me to the surface was Leon.

I always remember you as my first love, but right now you're making me hate even if you just remember.

I won't forget how you tried to protect me first, but it wasn't enough for Randy. I need your love intact, it doesn't mean that if you don't touch me you can touch other women out there.

Let me keep a little memory of us in the deepest recesses of my heart. I wouldn't remember you as a bad man if you stopped there. Where we shook hands for the last time at my wedding.

You should never have crossed the line that Leon put up for me and you, Randy. It shouldn't be, so that I can keep fond memories of you without hate.

I opened my door and said hello, I saw Leon sitting on the sofa in front of the television.

"Mas, are you home?" Much fun.

"Hmmm." she answered briefly.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Whatever." she replied coldly.

What's with him, wasn't he so happy to tease me this morning? why is his attitude cold like this? Maybe he's tired.

I change my clothes and immediately prepare dinner, I call Leon mas who is sitting relaxed in front of the television. Even when eating, Leon only speaks a thousand languages. His face looks depressed, what is this?

is Leon not as usual?

I don't really care about his attitude, maybe because Leon's pissed. Because you still have to be busy taking care of work during holidays.

Even at the age of marriage we have almost a year off his day is still often used for work.

There's not much time we can spend together, sometimes I'm a little upset when I remember that. Leon's work as a doctor often makes him have to go in the crucial moments.

He was also often out in the middle of the night due to worsening patient circumstances. I risked marrying a doctor, whose entire time was almost wasted just on her job.

I sat on my bed and I played my phone, I smiled to myself when I saw the photos of my school days. The pictures when I was a young man, it was funny to see my expression in the past. My face is still so cute, and also cute.

I laughed when I found a picture of myself with a friend at a school pension.

At that time I accidentally dressed up as a teenager, but now if you look back. My makeup looks weird, I don't know the reason why Randy loves me so much.

Uh... It's not unusual for him to sleep like this, usually he will tease me when he wants to sleep.

What's the matter?

Is there something wrong with her? Let me just tease him.

I put my phone on the nightstand next to my bed. I got closer to Leon's body. I rub his forehead and I kiss him on his forehead. But unexpectedly he did not even open his eyes or say anything.

What is this, did Leon take the wrong medicine?

Oh, God, I pulled my blanket and went to sleep. Even with a thousand questions in my heart, I tried to keep my eyes closed.

Ordinary Leon mas will wake up in the morning back to how it was. He will forget everything that happened tonight and return to being someone new.

I had prepared some food this morning, today my mood is very good. I can even prepare a few dishes in a short period of time.

I was just putting food on the table, but I heard Leon's car go. I tried to chase him but the car was far away. No, this is something wrong. Leon never went without saying goodbye and peed at my forehead. Something's wrong, it must be wrong.

I immediately picked up my phone and sent him a message. But he only saw it without retaliating.

Oh my goodness, what is this?

Several times I sent a message to his place but again just in view. Why are you mas?

Do you and Riany really have a relationship?

Am I your shield only. Ah where possible, ma Leon where might be that low.

Question after question kept swirling around in my head. I was confused by Leon's sudden cold attitude.

Is he tired of me?

Did he start looking for a replacement for me?

Cook anyway?

Ah there is no way that Leon can hold feelings for 5 years. Cook it now I'm his wife he wants to let go.

I decided to wrap up my entire cooking. I'm getting ready to take him to the hospital. Maybe Leon was too hasty this morning, until he forgot breakfast.

I called gojek to take me to the hospital. But before I went into the hospital, I felt creepy first.

When I saw the ambulance parked in the hospital parking lot all over my body was sweating. I was phobic when I saw the ambulance and the hospital, I paused my intention to enter and I told the courier to leave it in the administration.

I married a doctor, but just visiting the hospital I didn't dare. I decided to go home and talk to Leon at home. Because I can't force myself to go in there.

I saw the clock on the wall of my room, it showed at 10 p.m. Leon never came home this late before. All day I turned my brain around to find out what was really going on. But I didn't find any answers.

Leon had never been this cold before. He was even very gentle when he was angry.

What's up with her?

Why is it that when he treats me this way, my heart hurts so much.

She seemed to have given me thousands of flowers in my heart this morning, but now she is as if she were gently slashing my heart. You can't treat me like this.

I heard the sound of Leon's car parked in the yard. He entered the room still with the same expression as yesterday. 

What am I supposed to do? How should I ask her.

Mas Leon revealed a little of our bedroom window. His eyes stared blankly out the window.

What exactly is teradi?

I dare not ask.

"Shena." her soft voice broke the silence.

"Yes, Mas." I don't know why my heart tastes like that.

"If you want, I'm ready." her eyes still stared coldly at the window.

"Ready? ready for what?" many wonder.

He took a breath and looked at me. He walked over to me and sat right in front of me.

"I'm ready to divorce you."

"WHAT?"