Black Blue

Episode 18's

Shena POV.

I prepared breakfast after compressing Leon's forehead. I'm writing the clock on the kitchen wall is almost 7, but Leon's not out yet. Is the heat rising again?

Just wanted me to go in to check it out, but Leon's been hunting out.

I see he's neat, didn't he have a fever last night?

I prepared some warm tea for her while I touched the back of her hand. Thank goodness she had improved, I prepared the food without much talking.

It's better to stay like this, both keep each other's hearts. So that no one would hurt each other.

If we are still bound by each other's past, when will the secret between us continue?

None of us want to start telling each other the past.

I want to see when this relationship continues like this.

When will our marriage go like this?

***

It did not feel like our marriage was almost a year old. I'm still trying to pull myself out to this day. Not without reason, I still often hear the name Sera mentioned in the sleep mas Leon.

Leon never asked me for his rights, nor did I ever offer them. If he wants to, he can do it, I wouldn't mind if I had to do it without love, because my rights are always fulfilled by him.

I also often met with Riany, when mas Leon invited me to attend charity events or other formal events. Leon never told me anything about Riany. They both always look familiar at every event, even many of Leon's co-workers who still think they are both married couples.

Leon and I have been married for a long time.

So do I, Randy still tries to meet me a few times. Even if I try to avoid it, if he wants then we will meet.

Already several times he changed his mobile number to contact me, his number will always end up in my blacklist. Several times an account asked me to send it directly, but I chose a day off to take the order, let Leon send it.

I never told him all that, because just the same, Leon also never gave me an explanation about Sera or Riany. Not wanting revenge, it's just that I don't want to hurt Leon anymore.

It is better to keep this poison in my flesh than I should vomit and the result is Leon's will swallow it.

Although Leon still keeps his secrets, I can't hurt him either. For me, Leon is a good man, I can't hurt his soft heart. Not the heart of it.

I don't have enough courage to ask about Sera or Riany directly. I'm afraid of Leon's answer, I'm afraid I can't hear his answer.

The warm sunlight greeted my face. On Saturdays, I used to spend more time in my bed. Ordinary if the holiday mas Leon will spend more time outside and go home a little afternoon. He had a bike ride or just a morning run.

I always avoid it if he invites me to exercise in the morning. If it's not a holiday, I can't be laid on the bed. Before having a baby that disturbs my sleep, let me settle for my youth first.

Wait a minute, baby?

Haduhhh, for him also do not know when, how can think of a baby anyway?

I shook my head and wanted to get up.

I see my bed side is neat and uninhabited. I stretched my body and hugged my neck back. Males is moving. I reached the clock on the nightstand and I saw it was eight o'clock.

With a push I got up from my bed, walked to the window to reveal the curtain.

I took my foot to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. As I opened the door of the room a boisterous sound of trumpets and and paper clip claps fell before me.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." Leon came to hug me.

Geez I forgot it's my birthday today.

"Thank you, Mas." I returned Leon's arms.

The marriage of me and Leon mas is not based on love, but why all this time our relationship looks familiar like a couple who love each other. Even though I still pull myself, to hang on to the wall I'm building, holding back the feeling of not falling in love with her

"Sir, happy birthday" said Shima, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you." I pinched her cheek.

"Ih... Birthdays are still slovenly."

Mas Leon brought a cake that had decorated with candles in front of me.

Beautiful tart cake with a dominant flower decoration light green, either light green may be the favorite color of Leon mas.

I saw Father and Mother sitting at the dinner table with all my favorite dishes. There is a spicy sour grouper fish one of them. Which makes my worms thrashing want to be filled.

I saw Mom's face go out and shake her head.

"What's this like, Shena every day son of Leon?" ask the mother who seems angry.

"Not really, ma'am'. Kalok Shena ketapek an aja."

Terlove was the one who always loved me. I circle my hands around Leon's waist.

"Yes mbok, don't get too spoiled her Shena times. Later he's a habit of loh." said the Father who agreed more to Mother

"I don't mind, the important thing is that Shena is happy, sir."

I fell in my heart, Leon is indeed the best.

"Jude, sit down. It's eaten." Mother ordered

The atmosphere was so boisterous this morning, so happy to see my family complete here. Plus this year there is someone present to complete my happiness.

After eating, I cleaned up the rest of the dirty dishes this morning as well as the rest of the night. Mom helped me in the kitchen, while Mr and Mas Leon were relaxing in the side garden. The twins, I don't know where.

"You're often like this, nduk?" ask me while washing the dishes.

"If it's a holiday, ma'am."

"Don't do that, your husband can always look at your behavior."

Yes, I know, but I don't understand my current position either. Leon was not always honest with me, there was something that was always kept tight.

I also don't know where our relationship will go if it continues like this.

"Mother." Call Shima behind the pantry.

"Hem."

"I went to university as well" he said enthusiastically

"Really, good donk."

"I'm majoring in Law, Ma'am."

"Why not take an accountant course anyway? It suits your intelligence." I said while rinsing the dishes I was washing.

"No, I'm going to Law school, ma'am."

"Are you sure you want to go to law? The law is not something easy, you have a lot to think about, deck." I tried to persuade him.

"Make sure, I like mbak."

"That college wasn't just something you liked or didn't like, Shima. The law is not an easy major, which just because you like does not mean you master it. The law needs a lot of consideration, must have justice and must be in a strong religious land. When you become a Lawyer later, your job has a heavy responsibility, not only in the world but also to the afterlife, baby." I said trying to convince him before he stepped wrong.

Honestly, I used to be overwhelmed by learning it too. That's why when Leon offered me to go back to college I turned him down.

"Keep if you can't, you don't think I can do that either?" said annoyed.

I, hearing his words, dropped the glass I was rinsing. Because of the sound of the shards, Leon and the Father went inside, so did Shine.

"Shima, what are you saying?" Say Mom while cleaning up the shards below.

While I was still fixated, I couldn't believe Shima speaking rudely to me.

I can't, but why does it feel so painful when I hear his words.

I know I can't afford to spend time in college and work, so I prefer to leave my dreams for my family.

Not ready for me to accept that, Shima said it again.

"Keep, don't you think I can't be like that? you think you're better than me and shine, don't you? I'm no less smart than mbak really, I can be better than mbak."

Serr. There was a feeling of annoyance and also anger at hearing Shima's words like that. Since when did that cheerful sweet girl get so smashed.

Clear threads have graced my cab cheeks.

I still don't believe the same thing I just heard, O God, my intention is just to keep him from getting into trouble. I love him, I don't want him to break up in the middle of the road like me.

I'm the only one who dreams of working in the field of Law unable to complete it. I'm afraid that if he's just happy, then what if he's bored?

Will he just leave it?

"As much as you!" I walked into my room, I closed the door, and sat down in front of the window. The wind coming in from the blemish of the open window greeted my soft cheeks. Not to wipe my tears, but instead to make my tears melt.

I can't believe my little brother said that to me. His words are still ringing in my ears. I'm no better than him, so I don't want him to have trouble like I do.

I didn't ask her not to go to college, I was just afraid she would get bored if she didn't major as she could. But why are his words so heart-slicing, felt every incision so sore.

I was wrong, it was all my fault, I should have been a good brother. So that my brothers can follow the good example of me.

I have failed, I have failed.

I heard the sound of my bedroom door being knocked softly.

"Shena." a soft voice sounded from behind the door.

I put my legs together and I put my chin on my neck.

"I'm in." I'm still not getting out of my seat. There were footsteps approaching.

I felt like Leon's hand was gently stroking my head. He just fell silent, in his hand and heaved a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry your brother, he's not an adult" said Leon mas lirih

"He's an adult Mas, I'm wrong Mas, it's all my fault." I took my legs together, and buried my face on my knees.

"You're not wrong, baby. He's just carried away by his emotions."

Mas Leon pulled my head and leaned his shoulder, in the wipe of my tears.

"Don't cry, baby. Don't torture me." she said, embracing my shoulder.

"My fault, Mom. I've failed Mas." I covered my face with both hands.

Letting her cry for a moment, she made room for me to shed the sorrow of my heart.

There was anger when I remembered his words, his words were always ringing in my ears.

"Shena, I'm sorry your sister. He just doesn't understand..."

"So when? when can he learn?" I said cut out the sentence.

Hearing Leon defending Shima makes me more emotional, am I wrong to worry about her?

"At the age of him now, I've been working, Mas. My mind can already understand how to treat others." I said annoyed.

Like he didn't want to fight me, Leon just kept quiet and listened to me.

"He thinks he's smarter than me, so why doesn't he just work while he's in college, or he can't take a scholarship, so he doesn't have to be troublesome...."  leon put a finger on my lips.

"Don't continue your sentence again, Shen. He's not bad, Shen's intentions are good." He spoke but his eyes were blankly staring out the window.

"You know what, ma'am? You don't know anything, Mom."

"I know, I really know how Shima's heart is. You probably won't know, but I know, you know, because of Sera....."

"Sera again, Sera again. I always hear you say his name and hold Mas." I cut out Leon's sentence.

Leon was stunned to hear my words.

Leon's eyes looked at me sharply, like there was anger in his eyes to hear me say Sera's name. O.o what is it exactly, did I offend her.

"Don't say that, Shena. Please don't say anything about him if you don't know him." this time he seems to be holding back anger.

"If so, why don't you try to get to know me?" my words are starting to get upset if you remember Leon who always called his name.

"Shena, please stop" she said a little loudly, but it made me shut up and cry again.

Wh why? mas Leon snapped at me just for the sake of that woman.

Wh why? mas Leon defended him in his bandingka I'm his wife?

"You didn't know he meant a lot to me" he said.

Like he didn't yell at me enough, now he has to say those hurtful words again.

Oh. my, um Leon you called another woman meaning in front of me. Who is he in your heart? is it that much to you, until your eyes harbor anger when I say his name? is he a part of your unachievable past?