Black Blue

Episode 36's

Shima tries to call Shine several times, but Shine does not answer.

I took my phone and I tried to call Riany. But the results are the same, connected but not lifted.

"Bak, I'm just gonna take a taxi. Patience, hold on, ma'am." Shima darted quickly out of the door.

I tried to walk, fingered the walls of the house to the extent of holding my body weight. I walked out and sat slowly on the porch.

I opened a little bit of the end of my dres and I saw more and more amniotic fluid flowing. I try to calm down and catch my breath. This is really painful.

After five minutes, Shima returned and led me into the taxi. The taxi was speeding, down a fairly crowded street, because this time is the time for people to return from lunch break.

Fortunately, the hospital was not too far from our home. The nurse took me straight to the ER. They installed an infusion hose and some other medical devices. Riany came and saw me smiling bitterly.

He checked my situation and I saw his face getting tense.

I know, it's definitely not okay. I don't know what Riany did, he was busy pacing back and forth here. Talk to the sisters and their assistants. The pain I felt slowly began to subside. This contraction is still similar to the previous one, it hurts once for some time, then subsides and disappears.

Riany looked at me and she shook her head. He looked at some of the documents his assistant had given him and his face began to sweat.

"Shena, does your stomach still hurt?" ask her.

I shook my head, I heard a sigh from Riany that sounded a little heavy.

"The position of your baby's head has entered the uterine path, your membranes have also broken. You seem to be giving birth sooner."

My eyes began to condense, there was a liquid that filled my sight, yet he had not dripped.

My womb is only seven months old. My son is too young, why he wants to get out so quickly.

Son, why can't you wait for your father? she promised me you'd be my mother, son. I'm sorry, son, you can't take good care of you. My mother continues to threaten your safety.

I stroked my stomach and I dropped the puddle of water from earlier covering my view.

Your child is not waiting for you. Why haven't you come back yet.

I have to give birth, come back.

I beg.

"Shena, don't worry. Don't stress anymore, please."

I wiped my eyes and tried to focus on my baby.

"Shena, if the contractions stop you have to say yes, you're still strong right?"

"Yes." I replied.

I must be strong, for my son's sake. I don't know what Riany put into my infusion tube, but just after she put that fluid in, there was a contraction that was more painful than before.

I held her back until my chest felt so tight. I crumpled the sprai of that hospital bed.

"If you can't stand us. But if you hold it, you can give birth normally. Because your baby's position is already on Rahim's path."

"I'm strong Ri."

I bit the tip of my lip, and occasionally tears trickled from the corner of my eye. Sweat sweat started flooding my whole body. It hurts like it broke my entire nerve.

"Return the breath yes, Shena." instruction from Riany.

I tried to catch my breath, but the pain was still ongoing. Restless, I am very nervous about this situation. You should be here, by my side.

Encouraging and strengthening me.

You should be here, you should be the one who wiped the sweat sweat that poured out of my forehead.

After spending that painful time for almost six hours. I managed to pull out the seed that Leon left behind.

His size was still very small, his skin was so flushed.

I was crying so much. I see that he who is crying is still so hard.

I saw his face which was still the size of a hand.

His little hands looked cold.

Kasian you son, you should still feel warm in your womb.

But since you can't take care of you, you have to be present in this world sooner.

Then Riany's assistant took her away. While Riany still takes care of me.

After two hours, I was transferred from the ER to the hospital room.

I saw the crying Mother and Father welcoming me.

"Shena, you good, son?" ask me worried.

"I'm good sir, look I can already smile." I smiled broadly.

"Excuse me." Riany entered my room with a nurse.

"Shena, your son should stay in the incubator for a while. He was born prematurely, his size was not appropriate, his weight was not enough."

As if not enough with the wounds I experienced, now it must be added again. God, how am I supposed to get through this?

I covered my face with both hands, and I cried. I myself passed through my pregnancy. I myself struggled to give birth to my baby, I also myself went through this puerperium.

Mom, can you feel? I need you here, I need your support.

Our son needs you too, please come back now.

"Shena, don't be so sad. I'm afraid you'll experience the baby blues if you're too stressed. Do you want to see your baby? let's go."

I wiped my tears, the nurse helped me to get into a wheelchair. We walked to the baby sterilizer. I saw my baby from behind the glass wall of this room.

I can see you son, but I can't touch you. Your chest that has gone up and down because of your breath, I can see you but cannot feel you. Why are you so small, son?

I saw his fingers clenching, his lips that occasionally seemed to be frowning.

I smiled but my tears could not stop. If you were here, you would hug me and our son. Our son won't be cold in there. Because there is you who always accompany him. I called you home many times.

Please go home, nourish the ears of our children.

"Shena, you can breastfeed her if your ASI has started to fill up. So don't stress yourself out."

I kept looking at him from the window. I really want to touch it. I only saw her once, I wanted to touch my baby, I was afraid she was missing from me.

"Yes, but tomorrow morning. It's late, we'll be back tomorrow morning huh."

"But I want now Ri, how ... What if he's missing, what if he doesn't come back?" when my cry broke, I covered my face with both hands.

Maybe I'm crazy, there's a fear that I can't stand anymore, there's suspicion in everyone. I'm afraid someone will take my baby. Like the circumstances that took Leon from me.

"Shena, calm down. No one took your baby. I promise I will take care of your baby, I will take care of him myself. I promise ya."

Riany knelt before me, she opened both of my hands that covered my face. Next to my tears, she hugged me very tightly.

Like there was energy flowing into my body, he gave me strength.

Riany was tired too, but she was trying to give her energy to me.

"We go back to the room yes, you rest yes." he persuaded gently.

I nodded and he pushed my body back into the room. I closed my tired eyes and then my consciousness disappeared.

***

I stayed here for four days and I was finally allowed to go home. But my baby still has to stay here. The durability is not perfect yet, Riany still has not allowed me to take her.

I went back and forth to the hospital in the morning and evening to give breast milk to my baby.

I looked at his face that was starting to turn pink, his cheeks getting softer, and his length that was slightly increased.

This little girl of mine, she looks a lot like her father, almost 85 percent following the curves of Leon's face.

How's your dad doing there, son?

Supposedly in two weeks she'll be home, she'll be surprised to see you're out.

There is a special spirit for me when I remember Leon mas who will return to my side. I can't wait for time to pass and she'll be surprised to see her son.

I went through this puerperium myself, My mother and twin sister did help, but I also need the figure of Leon mas here. Tired of having to take care of this all by yourself.

I have to go to the hospital every day, while my puerperium is not over. I was hospitalized for ten days.

My body weight continues to decline, the quality of ASI also decreases, of course.

I came back to my house 25 days after giving birth. I can finally go home with my baby.

It's supposed to be three more days for your father to come home, but your father never told you son.

What if your dad doesn't come home, honey?

What if your father never comes back?

My baby was crying so hard, she seemed to know my anxiety.Maybe she also felt my anxiety. I gently stroked his back. Hoping that he would calm down, he cried even more.

Mother came and tried to hold her, slowly her crying subsided.

Someone knocked on my door and I rushed to open it.

I saw Riany standing in front of me.

"Ri, tumben here? come on in." take me, be friendly.

"No, I'm just for a minute, okay. How are you doing?."

"Me, well. Thank goodness."

"Thank God, I'm here to drop this off." Riany handed over a gold-colored invitation.

I took it and I saw his name.

"Andra?" many wonder.

She nodded and blushed in embarrassment, all this time I thought she liked my husband. But he probably never thought that way.

I'm the only one who's too suudzonous to her. She's been so nice to me all this time, she's been patient with my sometimes stressful attitude.

I feel guilty for him.

"As long as I'm on leave, you can call my assistant. Take good care of yourself. Don't be so stressed and sad."

"Yes." I replied.

"I said yes" she kissed both of my cheeks before leaving.

"Riany." call me when she turns her body.

"Hem"

"I'm sorry" I said guilty.

"Hem, what's it doing?" tanyanya.

"I'm sorry, I used to be so bad thinking about you, I thought you and Leon used to..."

"Dating?" riany said breaking my amulet, his laughter exploding at my words.

"Shena, me, Leon and Andra that was one campus first. But I'm more attached to Leon because my love for Andra makes me awkward."

So Leon used to say Riany had his own dream man was right. I never believed, even until the last time Leon left, I was still suspicious of them.

"Yes, I'm saying yes."

I nodded and Riany left me. I looked at that fancy gold invitation. I told Leon first.

"Hopefully I didn't become a widow when Riany got married."

Now my words have come true. I was just worried about losing you then, Mom. But now I've really lost you.

Can you let me bear that title?

A title that is very much feared by wives.

Where are you mas?

God gave me guidance about my husband.

Is he alive or is he dead?

Give me your lead, and also your strength. So that I can stand alone, if indeed Leon mas will never return.