Being a Connecting Mother

Not Everything That Happens Causes Bad Things

Of course it gives more confidence to Zein that the child Adira conceived is her child.

“ I will tell you the truth now even if you know this. The night your parents set us up, actually I didn't do anything to you. But I lied by admitting to having slept* you at that time in front of a lot of people ” said Zein seriously.

“ I don't know for what reason I lied like that, but at that time that there is a thought of this problem will only be finished if I decide to marry you because it is disputed however people will not believe see the situation that cornered us at that time ”

“ What's the point of regretting it now Mas.the problem caused because the decision was also passed. Everything just stay past regret not change anything ”

“ Right..but I keep thinking what if at that time I didn't marry you you would be happy. No need to experience all this suffering ”

“ No. If not Mas shortly after my parents would have been looking for someone else to marry me. Because...intiat they really want to sell me no matter how it is ”

“ Should have been back then I did something else to save from your parents, I could obviously do something to keep you away from them ”

“ At that time Mas who.we do not even know each other of course it's impossible ”

“ But this nobody I decided to marry you when obviously we didn't know each other back then ”

“ Consider it Mas's fault, if not for marrying Mas maybe I still have to live in the restraints of my parents or even live as a young wife old man ”

“ A lot of mistakes I made and it's all the cause of your suffering ” Zein messed up her coarse hair.

Adira felt strange because when he saw the man with a face full of regret and guilt that his heart also felt pain. Until in his mind he wanted to calm Zein down in any way.

“ Not everything that happens always results in bad things Mas.I can still live life as it is now is proof that everything is not bad. What do I regret that Mas and the children should be able to live happily? ”

Zein shook his head slowly not confirming Adira's words.

“ Should be a good life, but Mas why do all the bad things for your health. Not that I've ever banned Mas from smoking, then why Mas always drink alcohol. Therefore, your health condition is also decreasing ” Adira said all of those things with great emphasis.

“ There is no way children can calm down if they see Mas doing all those things that are the same as killing yourself slowly ”

“ I can't forget you.After you go it feels like there's a big hole that's empty. The more days the bigger until it feels to breathe just tight. I tricked myself into saying it would be fine without you, I couldn't even close my eyes because I always missed you. Getting drunk back to bed is the only way I can sleep ”

“ If Mas continues to do that what if Mas's health condition worsens.should remember the age of Mas is also not young anymore until still feeling great can survive if continue drinking and smoking ”

“ Pftttt.ah it's been a long time since I heard this scolding ” Zein laughs lightly.

“ Wring? I warn Mas, if you do not want to hear yes it is a responsibility as a result later ” Adira shows an annoyed expression made-up.

“ Okay, anyways do you think I'm old huh? ” asked Zein in a seductive tone.

“ Hah? In fact asking the obvious thing, the age of Mas 43 is not old from where ” reply Adira scoffed.

“ Not that you are too young to marry me so I look too old”

“ Yes already who told you to marry a girl who is only 18 years old, where made pregnant again ” by not knowing Adira even keceplosan.

A moment the atmosphere became silent with Adira who could feel the gaze within Zein upon him. Adira immediately turned her face hoping that Zein would not bring up the thing she had just heard. He also cursed himself in the heart because he could even open the secret itself.

“ Adira..” call Zein soft after a long period of silence.

“ Adira.it's not a good time to explain everything ”

“ Me-explain what? ” Adira replied then nervously without turning her head towards Zein.

“ Look at me when you talk ”

A sentence that alone makes Adira immediately turn her body to face Zein, somehow Zein's dominant side always influential and make Adira inevitably obey the man.

Zein moved from her chair like a slow motion effect she approached slowly towards Adira, bending her body until her face was very close to Adira's face.

Adira could only open her eyes wide in disbelief now that the man was very close to her. It felt like Adira's brain stopped working until she couldn't do anything to push Zein away.

A gentle puff of Zein's breath swept across Adira's face and gave her a slight sense of awareness but also a high sense of alert as Zein's existence always made her unsettled.

“ Adira.”

Again and again hearing the man say his name made Adira's chest rise and fall erratically.

“ Tell me when we do it, help me remember what happened back then. ”

Adira closed her eyes shaking her head slowly rejecting Zein's remark.

“ Did I force you then? Did I hurt you so much? Tell me Adira.so that at least I remember the depraved deeds I did ”.

“ Mas..” hiss Adira with erratic mixed feelings.

“ At least at that time I was your wife.you only took what is rightfully yours that was ”

“ But surely I asked for it by force therefore you can't even tell it ”

Adira shook her head again hoping that Zein would not feel too guilty towards her.

“ No..” replied Adira slowly

“ If that's not true why you can't even look me in the eye, look at me Adira and say again it's not true ”

Adira opened her eyes slowly staring doubtfully at the man's greenish-blue eyeball, long enough but somehow it felt like her tongue was weak and unable to say a word not to convince the man.

Zein waits for Adira to speak but what she sees is Adira's eyes beginning to dew with tears held there. Now she knew how much trauma she had left her. But Zein felt himself very stupid even until then he did not remember the event that resulted in trauma for Adira at all? It was as if as hard as he tried that memory never appeared.

“ Thanks you even tried not to make me feel guilty, now I know very well how irresponsible I am ” said Zein softly and in later she kept her body away from Adira, it felt like now he wanted to go away for a moment from the woman and breathe some fresh air at least to calm his heart.

“ Mas...”

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