Being a Connecting Mother

Why Are You Not Happy?

“ How to forgive yourself? ” asked Noah looking forward to Adira's reply in earnest.

Adira sighed for a moment recalling how she survived all that.

“ I too just as you guys blame myself constantly, why should I come to that house and make everyone suffer? I shouldn't have the heart to let those kids have a stepmother they don't like. I'm evil for going to let this child live without the complete affection of her parents ” Adira stroked her stomach gently while saying that.

“ Then over time I just found out, this is all out of my will. It would be unfair to torture yourself with guilt, all of which would only lead to regret. How much we blame ourselves, time cannot be repeated. I'm not so bad because I promise to raise my son well later. It turns out that it was a process that made me able to forgive and make peace with myself ” said Adira calmly while recalling the difficult times in her life to make her eyes teary but not completely feeling sad to make him shed tears.

But also the feeling of pleasure because it has managed to survive all those difficult times.

“ You go on with life well and it feels good to know you are happy ” Noah nodded his head slowly he was really grateful Adira could hold on well. Because if Adira chooses another option such as killing her child, Noah will not be able to forgive himself again.

“ Right, and I hope you guys also move on happily ” Adira replied.

“ But no one is happy after your departure, Lily always smiles with that fake smile, Aidan hates Daddy and Nadia he considers it all their faults as the cause of your departure, nor can I calm down after thinking about the evil act of letting you go from the house while you are not mistaken for anything. The toughest thing is that I can't see Daddy destroying himself slowly ” said Noah it feels heavy enough to be able to tell it.

“ What do you mean? Why are you not happy? Because of me you are sad and suffering, you should have lived happily after I left ” Adira sobbed because she did not expect to hear that all this time she hoped the Brown family could continue a good and happy life. But hearing Noah's story about the state of his family made Adira really feel a deep sense of disappointment and sadness.

“ I also think like that..Nadia will definitely be happy because the plan she made so far was successful, your departure will not have a big effect on my family. But suddenly everything seemed empty, there was no longer a single person who actually spoke at home. Lily back busy herself with tutoring, Aidan spent her time playing games, Nadia also felt very sad after knowing the woman he was trying to drive away was a fan who always gave her a bouquet of flowers ”

Adira wiped her tears and covered her mouth with both hands holding back her stuffing sound.

“ Daddy pretends to be okay, but every night he spends his time drinking alcohol and smoking. Like a desperate man and looking for a way to kill himself slowly ”

“ No..no...it's not true ” Shall Adira, because obviously Zein whom she met two days ago is not as ruined as Noah said. Although Adira realized Zein's body is getting thinner and also the body posture that looks tired.

“ I just realized that my family can't continue living after your departure, and I won't be able to see them crumble in front of me. I beg Adira to return home, I believe all will welcome and receive a different arrival this time. And I promise I won't make you feel any more pain, I'll move out of the house. You don't have to worry about my presence in that house, because I'll be leaving ” soon

If Adira comes back and Noah has to leave then it's the same as Adira still destroying the family. Adira would never do such a cruel thing.

“ You are an adult even more mature than me, I did not deserve it in the first place. So let's end this talk, now go don't think about coming back because I won't be nice anymore ” Adira said coldly, he immediately opened the door signaling for Noah to leave the house.

Noah stepped weakly out of the house, truly regretting that it seemed to further mess things up. Even more sad because it did not succeed in persuading Adira to return.

“ Since long ago I never expected any of you to leave the house, no matter how much you showed your dislike of me. Because for me if someone from that family leaves because of my presence there then I have destroyed their family relationship ” said Adira then closed the door without hearing and caring about Noah's response.

Noah walks weakly into his car, it seems like he's already made a bad decision coming here and saying that to Adira.

He just thought Adira might want to go back home if Noah wasn't home anymore.

During Adira's stay at the Brown family home, he never talked much with the woman. He only speaks when saying harsh words to Adira so he suspects Adira will be willing to accept the offer to return, if Noah chooses to move from home.

For Noah it was not a difficult decision because he himself was an adult, and could already take care of himself differently from his younger siblings.

But he did not expect Adira to be angry at hearing the idea, now he just found out that Adira did not hate him at all. What the woman wanted from the beginning was that the Browns would accept her and they lived a happy family.

Of course it did not work because of all the harsh treatment from them to Adira.

“ Then how should I use to bring him back? What by bringing Nadia and Aidan to apologize will also work? I should try to bring Aidan especially Nadia to apologize to Adira ” Noah convinced himself again not to give up.

Because he won't be able to see the chaotic situation in the Brown family.

Happy Reading😘's