Being a Connecting Mother
Do You Feel Afraid to Hold It?
Adira and Zein remained silent as Helena left the room.
“ Mas ” “ Dira ”
“ Mas first ” “ You first ”
They always compactly answer in unison eventually adding to the awkward impression between the two.
Adira scratched slowly his neck which actually did not itch at all.
“ If.ada who want Mas to talk about please just talk ” Adira smack his lips while slightly taking his eyes off Zein.
“ I know maybe heard this you will feel uncomfortable, Adira I am really grateful because you already want to come back. Even though I know I don't deserve this much good from you at all. I promise Adira will start everything from the beginning of ”
“ Mas..”
“ Yes Dira ” actually Zein is very impatient to hear Adira's answer.
“ I also wanted to talk about this, which Mas asked me at the hospital at that time. The question is whether I want to start everything over and remarry with Mas. I honestly doubt what decision I will make. ”
Zein listened to Adira earnestly.
“ Being in all doubt it doesn't help at all either. That's why I decided to go back to live here with Mas and the kids. But for the answer to that question at this time I cannot give an answer. Give me time to convince myself decide what answer I will give Mas ”
Adira felt Zein's stare fixedly staring at her until she also looked at the man hoping that Zein would understand him.
“ It feels like I can't talk about anything Dira. I'm so grateful that you're considering it. I'll wait no matter how long it takes you because it's not worth the time I've been through without you. It was so stifling I was happy just with you being here Dira ”
“ Actually I can't answer that question right away because I want to spend a little time with you guys. Does he really love me? Are the kids really willing to accept me? It's selfish but I want to judge you up to where I'll be sure that we can be a family again ”
The sound of a crying baby breaks the momentary silence created because of Adira's frenzy in her own mind.
“ Geez I forgot she must be thirsty it's been almost 1 hour more than the last time she drank milk earlier ” Adira lowered her feet quickly from the bed but Zein immediately restrained her.
“ You don't remember the doctor saying don't move suddenly like that. Let me carry him here ”
“ Ah..baik Mas ” finally Adira again justifies his sitting position with his legs stretched out in bed. He noticed Zein who was already near the baby box.
“ Mas ” call Adira seriously because Zein did not come to bring the baby when the baby was still crying.
“ What's up? ”
“ Dira how it looks like I can not hold the baby ” said Zein innocently and also nervousness that clearly visible from his face.
“ Hah? Can't why Mas, alright let me just ”
Adira moved down slowly from the bed so that Zein would not worry and she walked over to the man. Adira looks at Zein's trembling hands while the man still seems to be trying to hold their child.
“ Oh..cup cup here in the carrying Mama ya ” Adira cradling her baby to soothe the crying of the baby.
She wanted to ask why Zein couldn't carry her baby but Adira chose to give her baby first breast milk.
Adira sat comfortably on the edge of the bed preparing to breastfeed.
“ Hmm..Mas can turn his back on me while I'm breastfeeding and please make sure the room door is locked ”
After making sure the door locked Zein still with the position of his back to Adira.
“ Dira why should I turn my back on you? Covered even I've seen it all ”
“ Ihh..It just keeps turning around as long as I breastfeed for the next as well. We're not married, I don't want any physical contact until we get married again. Mas must remember that limit I'm not kidding ”
“ Yes I will try my hardest. Hopefully I will be strong enough to hold all your charms, when you are so beautiful in front of me certainly not an easy thing for me. So I beg your understanding a little yes ”
“ It's a matter of Mas, for me the most important Mas did not break the rule ”
“ Alright ” sigh Zein resigned.
The truth is that Zein did not know because he did not see how Adira cheeks red because of the shame she had to breastfeed in the same room with Zein. That alone had made Adira like that especially if she did not forbid Zein to see it then she did not know how red her face would be.
But seeing Zein who is still loyal to her back makes Adira smile happily because the man is patient and willing to listen to her words now. Unlike the past now according to Adira Zein is more open to accept the opinion and wishes Adira also does not always impose the will anymore.
Especially Zein also treats Adira very gently as if Adira is a glass that if dropped or scratched will break. Zein's keeping him that careful.
“ Mama's children are full yes good ” Adira stroked the cheeks of a small baby who still looks reddish in his arms.
Zein breathed a sigh of relief hearing that.
“ Can I turn around now? ” tanya impatient.
“ Tu-wait a minute Mas ” Adira immediately fix the position of her clothes.
“ Already ”
Zein turned her body and approached Adira and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“ He's back asleep ya ” little smiling Zein saw the little baby sleeping.
“ Right, Mas want to try carrying him ” Adira offers.
Zein's eyes immediately rounded perfectly hearing that.
“ Do you feel afraid to carry it? ” nervous and slightly vibrating movements seem real from Zein's body.
“ It's been five years since I never held a baby at all. The last baby I carried was Lily, after trying to hold her baby, I suddenly felt scared and nervous at the same time. Her small body scares me to hurt her ”
“ Hahahahaha really? Do you feel like that? ”
Zein nodded his head.
“ Ah..sorry Mas I didn't mean to laugh at Mas. But all this time I always thought Mas could do everything whether taking care of the baby or something. Because Mas is more experienced, but not in the thought that Mas can also be nervous also ”
“ Of course I am not an expert in everything. Seeing her baby so small my body instantly shook violently ”
“ I understand ” said Adira smiled sincerely hearing Zein who explained seriously.
Happy Reading 😘
