"My Husband Doesn't Match My Expectations"

In addition to taking care of the house I also still have to take care of my mother-in-law who has a stroke

Six years is the age of our marriage, whatever is not there, motorbike vehicles have none other than because the husband can not ride a motorcycle, if the husband to the office there is a shuttle car from the company that causes the husband to relax do not want to rent a motorcycle, if there is no work shuttle car, rather than heavy on the fare, then there is no motorbike, it may have been forced to take out a motorcycle.

The house is still contracted, the child has 3 daughters, who are still 6 years old, 5 years old, and 1 year old, indeed for school fees have not been too expensive, but the cost of school is not too expensive, because my 1.2 children go to school in the state PAUD with tuition fees still fairly cheap, go to school delivered on foot, do not require money for transportation costs.

It should be the current situation, because there are not many costs for the needs of school children, now it is to think about the nyicil house (KPR), but want to get a booking fee, DP money from where?, where?, we have no savings. No inheritance from parents, no borrowing money from family.

I also try to suggest to my husband, "we have to pay for the house now, if not now when else.because the need for school children is still low, what if they have Junior High, another story, another story, their needs will certainly be higher than now who is still in SD. Husband is silent and a bit angry, do not know what pura angrily "money DP from where, expect who" he said with anger. That is, whether borrow money to his friend, for DP of house money, take KPRnya does not have to be extensive, of course, monthly installment money must be cheap. Husband was silent, whether he thought about what I said or did not want to know. Right now I don't know his way of thinking.

Fear of triggering fights. I stopped him and tried to open another topic. At work there are friends who give credit hp or any item on demand, and who give loans in the form of money there with a large loan interest of 4%.

In the household If we already have a home already grateful, at least we do not contract anymore. Although it is not a luxurious house.it is my hope and prayer from the past, "May God grant my prayers"please me in the heart.

The condition of the mother-in-law has worsened, before 10 years ago my brother-in-law had an accident around the house in the village that occurred before me and my husband married, when we were still in the stage of dating, when we were still in the stage of dating, the accident occurred when returning home from school, external injuries no bleeding, but his own condition was unconscious, so he was referred to the hospital in the city, but on the way his sister-in-law exhaled his last breath, his last breath, and his brother-in-law, since then the condition of the mother-in-law began to often sickly because she still could not accept the departure of her son. Mother-in-law can not be in Bebani with thoughts or problems of severe problems, because it will be a burden on her mind so that it can trigger her illness.

Due to a lack of heart, and falling in the bathroom, the mother-in-law suffered a stroke, half the body died next door, can not be moved, can only be moved to the right. My father-in-law complained "I can't take care of your mother, I don't have the energy to lift her to the bathroom, take care of her daily needs alone, I can't take care of you" the father-in-law said to all of us his children."a month at the 1st child's house, another month at the 2nd child's house, 3 and so on changed, so how to take care of it".

The needs of the mother-in-law are not just for eating, but need diapers that always have to be used right to reduce so as not to wet the pants, and reduce the burden so as not to carry too often to the bathroom, so as not to take the baby to the bathroom, because it is heavy, tired also if only take care of in-laws, there are still many homework that must be done. All the younger sisters of the husband agreed the mother-in-law for this first month to be cared for in our house, they also helped us in the form of money to buy diapers, diapers, diapers, because the needs of diapers a day can spend 2-3 pieces of diapers, we are very grateful for the help, we are still not well established, for daily needs are still not fulfilled, he said, sometimes in the last Sunday still have to cash the same with a husband friend.

After the child goes to school, change the mother-in-law who must be in the sundown, shower, dress, feed, to train him to walk sometimes no, sometimes not, if the mother-in-law is told to practice walking I see from the look on her face, very dislike, it is better for her to sit in a wheelchair than to have to wear a cane, it was worse for him to walk on a cane than to use a wheelchair. So his spirit to heal was not there. Already many of our treatment efforts have been done, yes in Chinese medicine, treatment by prick and drinking ginger herb every morning and night, and medical treatment has been done. But the mother-in-law's condition had no change at all.

We can only surrender, and do not do any treatment, just take care of changing diapers, and feed, bring her to walk the road traveling, we have no vehicle. My son and I never travel again, because there is no one to look after our mother-in-law, if we leave while the mother-in-law stays at home, she will cry because she lives alone at home. 3 Months mother-in-law lives with us, intending to change the atmosphere so that she is not saturated, we intend to bring mother-in-law to the house of another sister-in-law.

The Dominant Me takes care and takes care of everything the mother-in-law needs, the husband never helps. I also sincerely can not I reject it, I still think about the feelings and responses of father-in-law, other sister-in-law if I reject it, my relationship will certainly not be good in the future.

Does my husband still remember when my sister lived with us?, my sister who still paid the rent, and paid for food, was still washing dishes, but the husband protested a lot, no matter what his mistakes were. Now my mother-in-law still has to take care of me, her shit is fine, my husband never wants to care.

Does he feel guilty?, Andi my sister, Now the condition is like a lot of confinement in the room, do not want to socialize with other people, Boro Boro want to find work, and, he had worked as a hauler in the expedition company where my father worked, but Andi daydreamed a lot, he worked to be ordered, Andi was quiet and did nothing. His future is destroyed, there is no spirit for him to do other activities. He was finally sent back to the village. I'm concerned about Andi's condition like that, bring medicine no money, he also does not want to be taken anywhere. Already I can only resign, surely father and mother were disappointed, husband where thinking far ahead, I do not understand the way of his mind. May the Lord give strength to me and to my father and mother, in order to accept this situation and not take revenge on the husband.