"My Husband Doesn't Match My Expectations"

Trials come in alternately

After 14 days, my mother-in-law was hospitalized. Krista's sister-in-law brought her mother-in-law to the village, because our son who lives in the city doesn't have enough time to take care of her, many transportation costs that we have to spend as our children do not have an established life, for the needs of life alone is difficult.

His stroke is getting worse, yesterday half the body can still be moved now, the total body can not be moved, speech is almost impossible and unclear, he said, eating and drinking are done on an interval basis, because a little bit of the drink is given through a spoon has choked, "do not often choke, said the doctor", because it will interfere with his breathing, because it will interfere with his breathing, even though through the hose it will greatly make the mother-in-law suffer, what can be done, rather than no intake of food or drink that enters her body, so it must be given through a hose. Sometimes his mouth is given water so that it does not dry.

After the mother-in-law in the village, we and all the families in the village gave food (the customary term) to the mother-in-law, hoping that through this food feed the mother-in-law could recover her health. All her children came home, including her husband, me and children, we rented the car so that the cost was more economical.

Frista's sister-in-law who will take care of her mother-in-law during her time in the village, indeed currently frista is not too much to take courses, only a few courses, because she is already the final semester. It's just that every once in a while he has to go back to campus there are reports that must be reported. After 2 days brother-in-law frista in town, we called father-in-law at 05:00 saying that mother-in-law was dead, crying father-in-law reported by phone "your mother has died" he said. I give the phone to my husband, my husband can only cry.

I also calm my husband" she's sincerely gone, maybe this is the best, we also know that if the mother is in pain, she will not feel the pain anymore" I said to my husband while rubbing his back, he just fell silent.

Tomorrow all the preparations I do, the clothes of my husband, me and children, including the clothes of the custom process later, 1 which is our concern, because the husband is the first child and has the status of a boy, we are obliged to bear the cost of the customary process of mother-in-law, willing or unable, all must be relinquished even if it is in debt. Girls are not required to pay, if you want to help it is just that.

Husband went looking for a loan here and there, it was very difficult to find a loan especially suddenly had to be today.not for the cost alone that we have to borrow, not just for the cost, for customary fees must be borrowed means we have to borrow a very large amount. We also have to be willing to borrow with good interest.

Finally got his loan, but it was almost noon, with lightning fast we went to the transportation counter preparing to leave home.

We do not think anymore about how to pay the loan money we borrowed, how the 2-month delinquent KPR installment money. "already, today, for today, tomorrow yes tomorrow" just like the principle.

The funeral process and the funeral process went well and smoothly. Families, relatives near and far give their condolences. Not the kind of funding we get. So the husband only costs a little, we only use half the loan money we borrow. We will still be in a lot of debt. Never mind, this is also to be grateful for. Just muttering in our hearts, hopefully we can overcome it, we are not pelted people because they cannot pay debts.

A month after the death of the mother-in-law, the KPR installment was 3 months in arrears, the bank came to intend to install a seal that the house we occupied in seized by the bank. Want to put where this face, maybe even the neighbors already know, because we are the least able in the complex, the fence of the house does not exist, the canopy too, even the kitchen floor is still ground, the roof is also not there, if the rain comes must be willing to lift the stove and cook in the house, the dish rack is in the living room, what a collapsed living room arrangement.

Still grateful for the debt collectors did not come to the house, all can be controlled by the husband, we also have to be economical to eat side dishes only salted fish, tempe/know, eggs, eggs, once you change to eat wet fish or meat is very rare, fortunately children do not need to pay tuition every month.

Lucky for 1 year the debt can be paid off, then not make the finances can improve, there are still other needs, we need 2 motorbike vehicles, 1 used by the husband to work, and there are other needs, the other one I use to take children to school and to buy kitchen needs.

If relying on rickshaw ride the cost is very expensive, calculated the cost of commuting between children to school, is enough for the cost of the kitchen for one day, if the angkot ride, it is enough, no traffic passing through the house.

I took the initiative to borrow money from my father. Previously I asked my husband if buying a used motorcycle there is not 3 million, but the conditions must be used no longer there is an improvement. The husband agreed "there is possible". he told me. Because I said I could only afford 3 million loans, more than that doesn't exist.

Husband did not say what kind of bike he wanted to buy, he only had fun and hobbies, not aware of his abilities. Really I am very disappointed my husband bought a used motorcycle in the 70s, Motorcycle tires have to be replaced because it is very risky if the rain will easily slip, the motorcycle body is rusty, the motorcycle body is rusty, the husband actually brought him no confidence, but what was in his mind later can be improved little by little.

But in my mind that is not the current need, to fix repairs for used motorcycles is very costly in many ways there is still an urgent need for kitchen repairs and renovations.

As a result of a used motorcycle that was bought by the husband from borrowing money to the father, by promising to pay at the end of the year, even then because it relied on the end of the year THR from where the husband worked, and also the, cannot be repaired immediately. The machine is damaged, must wait for there is more money to repair the machine which cost is also quite high.

It is very out of reach in vain to borrow money from father, but still must be obliged to pay him. Children should be taken by pedicab. Anxious husband who does not count just thinking about his pleasure and hobbies without thinking about financial ability and the current situation, which is still very difficult.

I don't know until when this debt can be released, like it's still a long time, and just walk where it feels. Tired and saturated it feels when the beautiful day will arrive, it is still far away.

All I can do is go with the flow. It must be beautiful in time